Noahs Ark

A bit about Noahs Ark. The reason it was built was because our loving God decided that everyone was evil. so he thought it would be a good idea to get rid of the lot by drowning them, but he wanted to save the animals. so he instructed Noah to build the Ark. The measurements of the Ark is in the King James Bible, and it's not that big. It's in cubits. (The length of somebodys forearm) 300 longx50widex30high. That's 137x23x14 metres. Some marine engineers have serious doubts that it would even float. Probably capsize. So far as the number of each species, there are contradictions, so if you said 2,4 or 7, you're correct. Also, the unclean ones, there were only 2 of each usually, but not sure as I haven't read all of the bible. If you're interested, there's a list of the unclean. There's quite a few. They are animals not fit to be eaten. Some creationists believe that the dinosaurs were on the Ark too, because they can't deny they existed. Their skeletons are in the museum. They don't believe in evolution, so the fact that the rise of the mammals happened after and because the dinosaurs got wiped out 65 million years ago doesn't occur to them. I don't know how many species of dinosaurs there were, but there were shitloads,. I do know how big some of them were though. Just imagine, even if there were only 2 of each species, what a crowd it would be. T.Rex meets up with a cow. He wouldn't have a clue what it is, but it would still taste pretty good. How the fuck did Noah feed them all? He must have had a very shiny shit shovel too. People only think of the bigger animals, but there's a zillion small organisms that needed saving too, like ants, beetles, even microscopic bacteria. Of course, they didn't know about that back then. How did Noah build the Ark single handed from Cypress? (Other places it says sandlewood.) It's very hard timber and he only had hand tools. Not only did he build the boat, but had to cut the trees and make them into planks etc. No circular saws or milling equipment. It used to take a team of craftsmen several years to build a sailing ship. Also, where did all the extra water come from? There's always been the same amount of water on the Earth. It just keeps getting recycled. So you are drinking what was once Dinosaur urine. Another thing for you to contemplate is the fact that although everyone is descended from Adam and Eve, after the flood, there was only Mr and Mrs Noah and I think a couple of sons left. So we are all descendants of Mr and Mrs Noah. Don't know about his sons, but they were probably too stupid to fuck.

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Comment by John Burtonclay on July 30, 2013 at 9:33pm

Hi Joan. Thanks for responding. I think we have a lot in common. I too am very interested in flora and fauna. I certainly do not have a history of christian delusions, nor do I write at length about floods etc, only to point out the unbelievable stupidity. Most of the stuff on my site is just tongue in cheek jokes etc. Yes. The people of  my nation have ancient stories about the development of Australia. Mostly genocide by the English settlers. Anyway, you have the dubious honor of being the first person ever to knock back my offer of friendship. Cheers, and good luck. John B.

Comment by Joan Denoo on July 30, 2013 at 5:44pm
John, I received your request to be a friend, however, I find it highly unlikely that we would have things to share. I am a devout anti-theist, pissed as a plucked hen about the role religion plays in modern society and find no interest in reading anything more about any flood, or creationism, or forbidden apples, or talking serpents.
I am profoundly interested in ending any conversations about Intelligent Design or whatever the current term is. I am interested in new findings about evolution, from the movement of tectonic plates, to flora and fauna diversity, and finding ways to stop the insanity of climate change denial.

I would be interested if you have a history other than the christian delusions. Do people of your nation have ancient stories of the development of Australia?
Comment by Future on February 12, 2013 at 2:47pm

But ... but ... but .... it's just allegory!  Somehow, the best example of allegory that the most omnipotent, infallible, omniscient, omnipresent, perfect entity in the history of the universe could come up with is strikingly similar to anything that a drunk kindergartener could have come up with.

Comment by Loren Miller on February 12, 2013 at 1:01pm

I still wanna know how Noah got the duck-billed platypuses, kangaroos, wallabies and other animals indigenous ONLY to Australia on the ark, and how he got them BACK there afterward!

Comment by John Burtonclay on February 12, 2013 at 12:58pm

Good one John.

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