Share 'New Year's resolution? finding a rational healthy support/community'

I am again having doubts about 12 step programs.   I have been in ACoA and Alanon for a year now, but I still feel that they dog me out because instead of relying on Godism I am turning to the groups for support as my "HP"; they said I could do that.   However, when I do that, they turn away from me, claiming that I don't "get" the program or the steps or what "God wants me to do".   They tell me…