Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)
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  • Pat

    An eight year old Catholic boy desperately wants a bicycle, so he goes and asks his Mom. She’s busy with the other 6 children, and tells him to ask his Dad. His Dad, working on the car in the garage, tells him to ask Santa for one. “But Dad,” the boy protests, “it’s May and I want one for the summer.” His Dad shoots back, “Then ask Jesus.”

    The boy thinks about it, and decides that’s a good idea. Jesus is more powerful than Santa and works all year long. So, he goes to his room and starts to write, “Dear Jesus, I am a very good boy…” and realizing he has done a few naughty things, and Jesus is the one entity you don’t lie to, tears up the paper and starts over. “Dear Jesus, I have been pretty good…” Tears that one up to. By the time he gets to “Dear Jesus, I hope to one day be a good boy…” he knows he’s screwed. He runs out of the house, crying with the realization he’ll never get that bike.

    About a block down the street, he sees an inverted bath tub in a front yard with a statue of the Virgin Mary in it. He makes sure no one is looking, runs over, and grabs the statue.  He runs straight back to his house, goes in the back door, runs up the stairs to his room, locks the door, and puts the statue under the bed. He takes out his notepad and pencil and starts writing again.

    "Dear Jesus, If you ever want to see your mother again…..”

  • Andrew Hall

  • sk8eycat

    Hmmmm....Asbestos Mormon underwear???

  • Terry Groff

  • sk8eycat

    A parody of "One Day More" from Les Miserables

    http://www.onetermmore.com/video_subtitles.html

  • Chris Dodds

  • Cory D Wells

    If you guys have not heard of it, http://www.youtube.com/user/TheBibleReloaded this is a really good set of atheists reading the bible with commentary.

  • Ant Mac

    Talking about godless humour, who is going to watch our man John Stewart take on the ever-lovin' crazyman Bill "Bash 'em atheists" O'Reilly ?.

     

    I love John very much, it is very much like infatuation. =]

  • Joseph P

    It's on 24/7, on Hulu.
  • Terry Groff

    The Stewart/O'reilly debate will be Oct. 6. Not sure of the time but I'm sure we' ll know by then.

  • Andrew Hall

  • Troy Gorsline

  • Terry Groff

    UPDATE: The Stewart/O'reilly debate will be on Oct 6th at 8pm (eastern) It will be online but they are charging $4.95 to see it with the money being split between two charities of Stewart and O'reilly's chosing.

  • Tony Carroll

  • sk8eycat


    Description: image001.jpg@01CD8A85.C114ED30
    It just hit me! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year, if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick ..........
    My dog is a TELEVANGELIST !!!!

     

    This originally said, "My dog is a CONGRESSMAN!!!!"  But I didn't see any difference.
  • Troy Gorsline

     

     

    Ok - really really mean and I typically don't advocate this sort of thing, but it's been a bad week for me...

  • Joan Denoo

    Patricia, totally unexpected responses from pope and rabbi. Funny!

  • Ant Mac

    http://wumocomicstrip.com/2010/09/14/

    These guys have a healthy attitude to life. They laugh at every single aspect of it, and while religon is such an easy target and so they  fire away at it a lot, even science doesn't miss out.

    Some of their cartoons have cartoon nudity so marginally nsfw. Of course, most of you Cousin Johnathans can't come here at work anyway, in case the boss people with the invisible friend catch you! lol.

    http://wumocomicstrip.com/2005/05/07/

  • sk8eycat

    IN GOD WE RUST
  • Andrew Hall

    A thought concerning International Blasphemy Day.

  • Lillie

    Patricia, that chemistry student is going to go far in this world.  What a sense of humor!

  • David Sensei

    Loved it, Patricia - thanks for sharing. But I wonder, too good to be true? It could be a hoax written by a prominent atheist chemist. I'm sure there are plenty of those.

  • sk8eycat

  • sk8eycat

  • Joan Denoo

    sk8eycat, funny! Thanks, I like a good cheery night refresher. I can go to sleep laughing. 

  • Tony Carroll

  • Pat

  • David W

    At the doctor's office.

  • Pat

    David - I noticed the writing just above the picture. "Most dinosaurs had small brains in comparison to the size of their bodies." The same is true of those that believe this crap.

  • Andrew Hall

  • Robert Brown

  • Troy Gorsline

    I'd pray to that god. At least something positive would come out of it.

  • Tony Carroll

  • rockytij

  • Joan Denoo

    rockytij, this billboard reveals perfectly what is wrong with religion. Take someone as he/she is and change them into something other ... a zombie! This is the first time the word "zombie" made sense to me and I now understand its deepest meaning.
    It is not the developmental task to become what someone else desires of one, but to reveal who you are from the inside out.  

  • Joseph P

    What the hell is that billboard even supposed to mean?  Is it the Mormon thing about God lightening your skin if you come follow him?

  • Boothby171

    The Truthministry billboard is  a spoof, I would think....since TruthMinistry claims to be able to "help people heal from homosexuality through the love of Jesus Christ"

    (I'm thinking it's probably not "that" kind of love, though)

  • Joseph P

    Ohhhhhhhh.  I see it now, yeah.  Mocking their inability to accept what every unbiased study has shown, that homosexuality is something intrinsic and not a choice.  Damn, I'm slow tonight.

    The fact that that sort of thing is explicitly in the Book of Moron helped along my confusion.  I thought perhaps the Moron Church had decided against political correctness and was going back to their roots.

    And I dunno, man.  From what I hear, there's a lot of that kind of 'loving support' going on at those cure-the-gay ministries, too.

  • sk8eycat

    "...there's a lot of that kind of 'loving support' going on at those cure-the-gay ministries, too..."

    AND individuals who call themselves psychologists.

    Think, "Marcus Bachmann."

  • rockytij

  • David W

    Selection of reading material offered to kids at the doc's office.

  • David W

    Just thought I'd share this. A brave van owner to be sure. Taken in Alabama. Not my van, of course.

  • Joseph P

    Yeah, you have to be brave to paint a van that color.

  • Joan Denoo

    OK, I still haven't figured out what the Boy Scout billboard is about. I know I am dense, but that one has me totally baffled. 

  • Joan Denoo

    Come to think about it, the Truth Ministry one still doesn't make any sense either. And who would be so red-neck to paint a van that awful shade of red and then put that license plate on it? Jeez, we need some hard-core anti-theists in society. 

  • Joan Denoo

    As to the dentist's reading material, boycott the dentist and with enthusiasm and vigor. Where are the Hitch's when we need them? 

  • sk8eycat

    David, instead of boycotting the doctor's office, sneak some copies of Dan Barker's Just Pretend into the mix.  It's s Freethought book for kids...telling thm that nobody can tell them what to think, that their minds are their own.

    https://ffrf.org/shop/books/just-pretend-a-freethought-book-for-chi...

    A fun book which allows children of "all ages" to explore myths like Santa Claus and compare them with ideas like the existence of God. Entertaining, respectful of children's intelligence, Just Pretend encourages kids to apply the tests of reason to any idea, fairy tale, myth or religion. Ages 6-12 recommended (but appropriate for children of "all ages"!), fully illustrated, 72 pages.
  • Andrew Hall

  • Joan Denoo

    sk8eycat, great idea! Free-thought from a dentists office, who would guess?!

  • Joan Denoo

    Andrew, great site! "a majority of the beer swilling, smack talking members of the Captain's team want to make Mississippi go from Republican to marinara red just to prove a point." 
    Cheers for marinara red!