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Cycle of Life

Commemorating life changing events for members of Nexus.  Births, Graduations, Marriage, Divorce, Moving in and Moving out.  Diagnoses and Cures.  Deaths, and Remembrances.  If it affects you and you want to share or announce, feel welcome.

Location: Everywhere
Members: 13
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

Commemorating Events of our Lives

Please join if you wish to commemorate the events that shape your life.

 Whether it's a new baby, adoption, triumph over adversity, a medical diagnosis, a success, or a loss.  Celebrate, or grieve, the loss of a loved one, respected mentor, role model.  If it moves you, or you think it will move others, this is a good place to share the experience.

You can post either as a comment on the comment wall, or in a discussion.

Discussion Forum

A tribute to my father

Started by Brent Feeney. Last reply by Joan Denoo May 12. 1 Reply

So, I guess most of you here know that my dad died back in January of complications of Parkinson's disease. There have been times that have been rough since then, but I'd think it's all part of the…Continue

Green Burial

Started by Sentient Biped. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Jan 30, 2013. 1 Reply

When I go, this is what I want. White Eagle Memorial Park. naturalburialground.com From their website:  20 beautiful acres set within…Continue

Tags: heritage, death, life cycles, natural burial, green burial

How do you commemorate a major life event?

Started by Sentient Biped. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Dec 11, 2012. 5 Replies

My family planted trees for births and deaths.  Of course, there were official events too, like weddings, chili suppers at church, barbecues if weather permitted, dinners, wakes and funerals.I used…Continue

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Comment by Sentient Biped 14 hours ago
Spud and Joan, thank you. I have known so many people who were comforted and given joy by their companion animals. Without them life eould be mre sad. In the Zen Buddhist way, suffering come from loss, and loss from attachment. To avoid suffering, we learn to let go. But. There is confort even in the loss, because if there is no sense of loss, then there was no joy in being there. I'm truly grateful.

Russell, it's wonderful that youbhad the chance to get to know your dad better. Quite a guy!
Comment by Russell Pangborn yesterday

Not a divorce or marriage - but a wow moment!

I was in my music room and a book fell off the shelf.  It was a book of Dads letters to the editor and responses to them individually preserved in plastic.  I found he had saved a Toronto Star Running Pump ad for a gig done with my first band. We were a Deep Purple cover band called Marlo. This was in 1974 and I am now seeing the ad 40 years later.

 

I also discovered some great never before seen letters he wrote on atheism and in response to a Christian group that wanted to change the curriculum in schools to reflect more religion. The local paper was great in allowing a huge discussion to take place with very long letters being published.  It appears he was on one side and many people were on the other.  I got a huge laugh out of one from the Vice President of the Ontario Conservative Party who was given a column to respond to my dad and was very condescending.  He refers to one letter writer as a student in Oakville and “one A.L. Pangborn  who is unknown to me, but is presumably an adult living in Oakville.”

 

The paper published a full page letter that was my dad’s reply to all the enraged and mildly interested Christian replies. He starts out with “Wow! I only hope I can handle this Christian onslaught.  They’ve taken the bait!!”  He answers each letter writers arguments in turn. Then it is the Vice President of the Ontario Conservative Party’s turn and dad says “We now come to Mr. W.S.Thomson who was unknown to me, but is presumably an adult in Oakville”    - I fell off my chair when reading that! 

I still can't get over how growing up I never knew my dad was an atheist and how he told me not to rock the boat and then when I moved out he wrote all these letters and I only read them much later.

Now, feeling secure in my job as a college professor, I am emulating him.

 

Here is another neat thing.  My good friend Chris came to my 60th birthday gig at a local bar. We have kept up contact since grade five.  Here in this book was a long letter to the paper from Chris (who is not a writer) basically coming down on my dad’s side with the title “What Religion Should the Schools Teach”.  Knowing Chris, he never saved this stuff, so the next time he visits I am going to show him his letter written over 40 years ago. 

His daughter and my daughter became very close friends and my daughter was the maid of honor at his daughters wedding last weekend.  That is very special also. (got my wedding piece in for our cycle of life group).  You can't force friendship on the next generation but it happened.  I spoke at the wedding and with my grandaughter there (two months old) hoped the next generation carries on the friendship.

Comment by Joan Denoo on Wednesday

Sadness, disliking the aging process, sorrow about inability to fully function as a youth. dread of what lies ahead, all familiar feeling, not easy ones, they are real, nonetheless.
Is there a way to reduce the emotional cost of such love? I don't know of any way.
Loving Charlie in the moment, looking into his eyes as you gently remove the rheumy crust, taking in consideration his stiff joints by helping when he needs it or not walking as far as you once did, staying close by Charlie and letting him know you are there. These are mere gestures to let him know how much you love Charlie.

Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences with Charlie and all those wonderful photos on your blog. A tribute to your faithful companion.

Comment by Idaho Spud on Wednesday

Daniel, I enjoyed your post about your 13 year-old best friend, and it brought tears to my eyes.  I hope you don't mind me reposting it here:

SUNDAY, AUGUST 24, 2014

Old Charlie. 8.23.14

Charlie.  8.13.14
He's 13 years old now.  The best friend I ever had.  His eyes are rheumy, and his joints are stiff in the am.  Once in a while he'll fall down for no apparent reason.  He can't handle the heat.  Neither can I.  He breathes heavily with minimal effort.  Even so, he runs up the stairs to greet me, barks at the cat, wags his tale all of the time, rests his chin on the computer keyboard, and stays not more than 5 feet away from me whenever I'm home.  He's comfortable and happy.  I wash his rheumy eyes every day.  His aging breaks my heart.
Comment by The Flying Atheist on July 26, 2014 at 11:32pm

Ahhh, Joan.  Beautiful.

Comment by Joan Denoo on July 26, 2014 at 10:52pm

My sixth great-grandchild, Brooklyn Grace Staab, daughter of my youngest granddaughter, Laurie and her partner, Zac. 

Comment by Brent Feeney on June 4, 2013 at 8:56pm

Thanks Sentient. =)  It was very well-received at the Society as well. Got a lot of hugs and thanks from everyone.

Comment by Sentient Biped on June 3, 2013 at 9:21pm

Brent, your tribute was excellent, moving and thoughtful.

Comment by Brent Feeney on June 3, 2013 at 3:35pm

Thanks Russell. I think when dad hugged both my brother and I, he may have known he wasn't going to be here much longer. I'm glad we exchanged those hugs and "I love yous" that day; at least he was able to go with no regrets from either side.

Comment by Russell Pangborn on June 2, 2013 at 9:56pm

I read your tribute Brent.  I had some tough times and good times with my dad as well - He passed in 1994. Your final hug brought back memories of the last time I hugged my dad. I was leaving after a visit and he asked for a hug. He held on for an unusually long time and i thought it a bit weird. The next day he had a heart attack and was dead within the week. He must have felt something was happening.  I now treasure that extra long hug.  

 

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