Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sarah on July 23, 2008 at 10:49pm

I really hate to sound stupid but I still don't think I understand what a feminist is. I can look it up of course, but what does it mean to you?

Permalink Reply by The Shan on July 24, 2008 at 12:14am

First and foremost, I'm a feminist. And basically that stems from a strong belief that all people and creatures deserve equal opportunity, rights and respect.
--Kathy Najimy

I'll have to agree with Kathy on that one. Now some have said 'well, why aren't you a humanist?' To that I just have to say: well I'm a humanist as well. I just feel that there aren't enough women speaking up about important issues. I'm a feminist in that I encourage women to feel empowered to speak up, after being oppressed for so many years.

Permalink Reply by sehkmet on May 31, 2011 at 6:42pm

Feminism is not only the principle that men and women should have equal rights, but that those rights should not be defined in male terms.  I'm for fairness.  We have to meet somewhere in the middle.  Men will have to give up a lot of privilege, but women will have to change too.  A good start would be to see that all the uncompensated work that women, especially stay at home moms do be compensated.

Feminism 101 is a good place to start if you're unsure of what feminism is.

Permalink Reply by The Shan on July 24, 2008 at 12:15am

Strong enough for a (wo)man, made for a woman.

Permalink Reply by msnomer71 on July 24, 2008 at 9:07am

ahhh shan, old times old times
i remember when you first came out
*holds back the tears*

Permalink Reply by Kirsi Myllys on July 25, 2008 at 4:57pm

I cannot remember when I started saying I'm a feminist. I was raised by a single man, my father, and his mother, a strong woman in our family. My father taught me very early about feminism. Finland is to some extent an (sexually) equal country compared to many other European countries (France, Switzerland, etc), but there are still things that favour men to women. That is why I'm a feminist.

However, I can remember when I started calling myself an atheist. Not long ago, in fact it happened very recently when I was reading Dawkins' The God Delusion (in Finnish). I first called myself an agnostic (at 17), after that a secular humanist (at 24), and now I call myself a radical atheist (being radical to me means that I can say it out loud that I'm an atheist).

This has been a big thing for me in Finland. I'm 45 this year and 20 years ago being an atheist meant that you're a communist, or you were stigmatised as such. This is the reason I shunned using the term atheist in Finland. To me atheism was never a political issue. Times have changed, fortunately. I have found it extremely liberating finally to be able to say what I am. I'm an atheist.

Permalink Reply by Parallax on August 4, 2008 at 11:20am

To most Christians here and to Fox News, being an Atheist means also being a socialist.

It's funny how many people will shrug off slavery to an imaginary dude in the sky, but walk right into slavery to their fellow man/greater good/state. Thankfully Atheists come from all walks of life, socioeconomic classes and opinions.

Permalink Reply by Sarah on July 28, 2008 at 10:43pm

Hmmm, well if it's just about equal rights then I am one of course. I wouldn't have a problem saying it either. Somehow I got the impression that I would be considered an anti-feminist though because while I think we should be equal, I still think there are different roles for men and women. Furthermore, I prefer to fill that role in my family. Not that I believe all women should but that for me, I want to be that woman that focuses on family and not career, etc.

Permalink Reply by Lorry Fach-Pedersen on July 30, 2008 at 1:01pm

This sums up how I feel too. I often get the impression that feminists don't really want me. They play lip service to women having the opportunity to do anything they want, but when they find out what I want is to stay home, the eye rolling commences.* On the other hand, I don't really fit in with other stay-at-homers because they tend to fall into one of two categories: those who are only at home until their child is "old enough" (however they define that) and then they're dying to go back to work, or those who stay at home because they think God has commanded them to.

*I'm not assuming that anyone in this thread or group in general is rolling their eyes at me. I'm just reporting on the experience I've had over and over and over again with self-identified feminists I meet.

Permalink Reply by Sarah on July 30, 2008 at 6:03pm

Well you aren't alone Lorry! If I never work again, that's fine with me :) The other reason doesn't apply either, of course.

I am very lucky to have a small group of women locally that all feel the same as I do. We are all independent women, who would fight to death for our rights, and one of those is to stay home and be wives and mothers. I've done both actually. I had a "career" for the first 3 years of my son's life. That sucked. But I wouldn't dream of taking it away form someone who wanted to do it.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on August 9, 2010 at 9:06pm

I've never been able to establish a career so far, despite working for the past 10 years, but I can see why a woman (or a man) would want to devote their time to family instead. Devoting time to a job is one of the most unrequited loyalties in the world and just trying to find a job can destroy a person's self esteem (I think that is where my self-esteem is at its weakest). Unfortunately, I don't want to have children, and I'm pretty terrible at housekeeping, so I don't think I could actually be a stay-at-home woman, when my husband works three jobs, without just being lazy and spoiled about it!

Permalink Reply by Parallax on August 4, 2008 at 11:27am

I feel ya man. When I first started coming here I had joined the feminist group. I said I probably didn't accept the total feminist package. I got a lot of questions about the total feminist package. I guess I couldn't verbalize myself well enough I got the feeling that I wasn't wanted there. There are lots of things that I learned in my women's studies courses by recognized feminist authors that aren't my cup of tea, nor do they have much to do with the female experience.

I do feel like having equality but not sameness is the best idea, but in that you need to recognize that choice plays a big part of life. If you go out and try to find a job and "purpose" like you're "supposed" to, and ignore your bliss at home where you'd like your purpose to be, then choice is gone. Finding purpose is key to happiness, just don't let others tell you what your purpose should be.

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