None of the following comes from me. I found it at this site:
http://www.iamanatheist.com/arguments.html


As an atheist, you will occasionally meet a non-atheist who wishes to argue against your belief system. If you are interested in discussing the matter, you may want to prepare yourself by learning these simple responses to common anti-atheist arguments.

The Bible says that atheism is wrong.
"The Bible also says some guy's donkey talked."

If you believe in God and are wrong, then it's no big deal, but if you don't believe in God and are wrong, you'll be punished eternally, so it's not a good idea to be an atheist.
"What if you're wrong that God prefers unthinking self-righteous toadies to honest people who try and live a good life?"

Deep down you really believe in God.
"Deep down, you really don't believe that."

You're only saying you're an atheist to rebel against authority.
"And if the Beatles grew long hair to rebel against authority, then they really had no hair -- is that what you're saying?"

You probably are an atheist because you had a bad experience as a child.
"You probably worship God because you hate your real father."

There are no atheists in foxholes.
"Probably because we have less excuses to start wars."

If you don't believe in God, you'll go to Hell!
"If you don't stop believing in God right now, I'll punch you in the face."

Why are you mad at God?
"Because he's supposed to be all good but he doesn't even have the common decency to exist."

Atheists are Satanic.
"Just like theists are agnostic?"

Without God there is no morality.
"Are we talking about the God that ordered Moses to kill babies and asked people to set animals on fire because he liked the smell?"

God is perfect, and He couldn't be perfect if He didn't exist, which proves that He exists.
"No, it just proves he isn't perfect."

People who follow Jesus are good, so you should follow Jesus.
"Chemotherapy can cure cancer, so everyone should have chemotherapy."

Jesus was either a liar, a crazy person, or the son of God. He spoke against liars, and his behavior wasn't crazy, so the only remaining possibility is that he was the son of God.
"So you're telling me that if a polite, honest-looking, well-spoken, nicely dressed man walked up to you on the street and introduced himself as the earthly incarnation of God, you'd figure he probably is? Have you considered the possibility that you're the one who is crazy?"

There were eye witnesses that Jesus worked miracles.
"There are eye witnesses that Bigfoot exists, Uri Geller works miracles, and aliens abduct people."

Most people who know about Jesus believe in Him.
"If most people jumped off a bridge..."

I know from personal experience that God exists.
"No he doesn't. He told me so himself."

God wants you to believe in him without rational proof.
"Then he's certainly doing a fine job of not tempting me with evidence."

You say you don't believe that God exists, but the word "God" is meaningless if there is no such thing, so you are admitting that God exists even as you deny his existence.
"That reminds me, I don't believe you owe me $100."

Hitler was an atheist.
"I don't know about Hitler's religion, but I do know that he was heterosexual, so can I assume you're against that, too?"

Einstein believed in God. Do you think you're smarter than Einstein?
"If he believed in God, yes."

The founding fathers intended the United States to be a Christian nation. Atheists aren't welcome.
"Are you sticking with the whole 'slavery' thing, too?"

The universe is so complex that someone must have designed it.
"I don't know -- that sentence was fairly complex but there was obviously not much thought behind it."

Atheists believe in evolution, but if we teach our children evolution in public school they will believe that they are no better than animals and will grow up immoral.
"I've met public school children. Most of them aren't any better than animals."

Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.
"No, but God does."

Well, evolution's only a theory.
"So's your old man."

How can you not believe in Jesus Christ when the evidence is overwhelming?
"Well, Jesus's divinity is only a theory."

There's proof that God exists, like the Bible and miracles.
"If your twenty-year-old son still believes in Santa Claus because he read a book about Santa visiting and presents magically appeared on Christmas morning when he was a child, would you praise him for having faith in the face of overwhelming evidence or call him an idiot?"

My parents raised me to believe in God. Are you calling my parents liars?
"Can we talk about the Tooth Fairy for a minute?"

There are so many wonderful things in the world, how can you say there is no God?
"It's really pretty easy: 'There is no god.' See?"

There is so much beauty in the world that only God could have created it.
"My wife's beautiful, and my mother-in-law made her."

If there is no Heaven, then where do you go when you die?
"The same place you were before you were conceived, I assume."

You can't prove God doesn't exist.
"So?"

You don't know everything.
"Do you?"

You can't see air, but you believe in it.
"I can't see ignorance, but I can smell it. Right now, in fact."

You can't see love, but you believe in it.
"And I agree that god, like love, is just a concept."

God made His image appear in this tortilla!
(Eats tortilla)

You call yourself an atheist but you have faith. Everyone has faith in something.
"I have faith that this conversation isn't going anywhere. Bye!"

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Replies to This Discussion

These are good J4G responses but if you don't want to be an asshole then you'll want the serious responses below:

The Bible says that atheism is wrong.
"So? You have to provide reasons why something is wrong. Simple assertions are meaningless."

If you believe in God and are wrong, then it's no big deal, but if you don't believe in God and are wrong, you'll be punished

eternally, so it's not a good idea to be an atheist.
"That arguement is known as Pascals wager and has many flaws. One flaw is that you can't just 'decide' to believe in something. You

can decide to pretend to believe in something but if your god existed, wouldn't he be wise to that?"
For an in-depth list of counter-arguments and all the reasons Pascal's wager is wrong, get JSTOR access and read this paper:

http://www.jstor.org/pss/3595561

Deep down you really believe in God.
"Deep down, you really don't believe that." (This one was good so I left it alone)

You're only saying you're an atheist to rebel against authority.
"Even if that were true, it wouldn't make me wrong or make you right. That's simply not an substantive arguement."

You probably are an atheist because you had a bad experience as a child.
"Even if that were true, it wouldn't make me wrong or make you right. That's simply not an substantive arguement."

There are no atheists in foxholes.
"Actually there is are. There's even an official organization for atheists in the military called Atheists in Foxholes, in cockpits,

and on Ships."
link: http://www.militaryatheists.org/expaif.html

If you don't believe in God, you'll go to Hell!
"I don't believe in hell either. If there is no God then there is no hell, and I obviously can't/won't go to a place that doesn't

exist."

Why are you mad at God?
"I'm not mad at God. How can I be mad at something that doesn't exist?"

Atheists are Satanic.
"What does Satanic even mean? Atheists don't believe in Satan either, so they're definitely not satanic in the sense of 'being on

satan's side'. If by satanic, you mean that Atheists do not subscribe to all the same moral dogma that Christians do, then you're

absolutely correct, but you should be careful because atheists are objectively more law abiding people. Atheists have repeatedly

proved to be morally superior to Christians."
http://atheistempire.com/reference/stats/main.html

Without God there is no morality.
"Atheists get their morality from thinking carefully about what is right and wrong to do. Atheists evaluate the consequences of a

behavior for human well being and make informed judgments. Are you saying that the only thing preventing you from going on a rampage

of rape and killing right now is that you believe in god? Don't be silly."

God is perfect, and He couldn't be perfect if He didn't exist, which proves that He exists.
"Perfection has nothing to do with existence. In fact from what I've seen, nothing that exists is perfect. Therefore If God were

perfect he probably wouldn't exist or if God existed he'd probably not be perfect."

People who follow Jesus are good, so you should follow Jesus.
"Not everyone who follows Jesus is good, and I don't have to follow Jesus to be good. They're unrelated."

Jesus was either a liar, a crazy person, or the son of God. He spoke against liars, and his behavior wasn't crazy, so the only

remaining possibility is that he was the son of God.
"I almost agree because Jesus was either a liar, crazy, God or he didn't exist at all. Speaking against liars isn't proof that he

himself wasn't a liar. There are many hypocrites around. His behavior actually was pretty crazy--how many completely sane people do

you know that walk around claiming to be the son of god? God doesn't exist, so it's kinda hard for him to have been God's son. And

finally, an obviously exaggerated story book written 2000 years ago is the only tangible evidence that he might have even existed at

all."

There were eye witnesses that Jesus worked miracles.
"The only eye witness accounts are in the bible which is definitely not a reliable source. Even if an eye witness were to see

something extrodinary, eye witness testimony is known to have severe problems because human memory is worse than most people

realize. Our brains fill in missing pieces with information that is completely made up, and the person doing the remembering can't

tell that that's happening." http://www.jstor.org/pss/1147227

Most people who know about Jesus believe in Him.
"The number of people who believe in something is not evidence that it is correct. People used to believe that the world was flat,

just because they thought it looked that way."

I know from personal experience that God exists.
"I don't doubt that you've had an amazing experience, and I don't want to dimish the value that your experience has had for you.

However, your experience doesn't prove god exists. If you had grown up muslim and had the same experience, it would have confirmed

your belief in Allah instead. I think you're belittling your experience by attributing it to God instead of being amazed at complex

beauty of the universe that your experience came from."

God wants you to believe in him without rational proof.
"This is a sly way of saying that it's good to believe in random things without proof or evidence--or even against the evidence--

which isa wrong, and perhaps even evil thing to believe."

You say you don't believe that God exists, but the word "God" is meaningless if there is no such thing, so you are admitting that

God exists even as you deny his existence.
"If simply naming something meant it exists then where are unicorns, dragons, and my aunt who died last year? Humans are very good

at making things up which have no basis in reality and god is no exception."

Hitler was an atheist.
"The bottom line is that pointing to various evil people and proclaiming their religious views says nothing about the veracity of

those views. For the record though, Hitler was nominally Catholic, spoke in favor of Christianity and may have been influenced by

occultism, paganism and esotericism. But even if he were an atheist, his evil actions were not motivated by atheism, and atheist

moral philosophy condemns the evil things he did. You should tread carefully because there have been manly Christians who performed

similar crimes which WERE motivated by their religious views. "
There are some great qoutes with references on wikipedia about this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler's_religious_views


Einstein believed in God. Do you think you're smarter than Einstein?
"Again, the belief of any particular person is not relevant to the veracity of that belief. Einstein actually only believed in, at

most, an impersonal god and he critisized Christians who believe in a personal god. Einstein referred to himself as agnostic."
Again there is a pretty good wikipedia article on this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein's_religious_views

The founding fathers intended the United States to be a Christian nation. Atheists aren't welcome.
"Many of the founding fathers were diests, and in the Treaty of Tripoly in 1797 they specifically wrote 'As the Government of the

United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion'. This along with the constitutions claus on

religion and the writings of many of the founding fathers clearly show that America was founded as a secular nation--niether

christian nor atheist. The founding fathers saw the problems that mixing of state power with religion had caused in other countries

and wanted to avoid those problems in America."

The universe is so complex that someone must have designed it.
"Complexity has nothing to do with whethe something was designed. If you believe god created everything then EVERYTHING was designed

and we have no 'undesigned' things to compare them to. If you are like me believe that god doesn't exist and didn't design or creat

anything then it's obvious from all this complexity that things which are designed are actually much more SIMPLE than things which

are not designed."

Atheists believe in evolution, but if we teach our children evolution in public school they will believe that they are no better

than animals and will grow up immoral.
"How do you define better? Evolution and science obviously agree that man is the most intelligent animal with the best reasoning

power. Further, even if people and animals are the same froma 'Which is better' standpoint, why would that mean that people should

be brought DOWN to the level of animals rather than bringing animals UP to the level of people?"

Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.
"No it doesn't, and if you believe that you don't understand the second law of thermodynamics. We've had time and SEEN evolution

happen both in the lab and in nature."

Well, evolution's only a theory.
"You're thinking of the name The Theory of Evolution and using the colloqiual meaning for the word theory, which is 'hypothesis'.

However Evolution is a SCIENTIFIC theory. Scientific theories are not hypothesis like Mulder and Scully would come up with. In

science an hypothesis doesn't become a theory until it has been proven true with overwhelming amounts of evidence."

How can you not believe in Jesus Christ when the evidence is overwhelming?
"The evidence isn't overwhelming, so it's easy."

There's proof that God exists, like the Bible and miracles.
"The bible isn't proof anymore than any other religious story book. Miracles are simply events which either never happened, or appeared to be weird because you have incomplete information about what actually took place. There are magicians like Penn & Teller who can appear to cut a woman in half and most of us have no idea how they did it. Their tricks are planned, but the phenominons that they use to fool people also happen naturally in real life sometimes."

My parents raised me to believe in God. Are you calling my parents liars?
"Your parents may have genuinely believed what they told you. I'm not saying they lied on purpose, but they were undoubtedly wrong. Parents are not perfect. They make mistakes too."

There are so many wonderful things in the world, how can you say there is no God?
"There are indeed a lot of wonderful things in the world. Why do you need to attribute them all to a God? Wonderfulness has nothing to do with whether god exists."

There is so much beauty in the world that only God could have created it.
"The world is indeed beautiful, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We've evolved to appreciate many particular arrangements we see in the world, but our reaction to visual stimulae is not evidence for god. Further, it is possible to improve the beauty of the natural visuals we get. One way is to eat magic mushrooms, but it's easier to just google image search 'HDR Photos'"

If there is no Heaven, then where do you go when you die?
"You don't go anywhere. You simply cease to exist. You're not floating alone anywhere either. From your perspective it's exactly like before you were conceived."

You can't prove God doesn't exist.
"The burden of proof isn't on me to prove he doesn't exist; it's on you to prove he does." Russel's teapot is a good arguement to use here. You can't prove that there ISN'T a tiny teapot in orbit around Mars so if you believe that you must disprove god to stop believing in him then you must also believe in the teapot AND any other un-dis-provable thing I make up.

You don't know everything.
"Niether do you. But the fact that niether of us are omnicient has no bearing on god's existence."

You can't see air, but you believe in it.
"Seeing is only one of our 5 senses. Air can be felt, smelled, tasted and heard."

You can't see love, but you believe in it.
"And I agree that god, like love, is just a concept." (this is pretty good so i left it)

God made His image appear in this tortilla!
"Images appear randomly everywhere and prove nothing. Ever seen a cloud that looks like a rabbit?"

You call yourself an atheist but you have faith. Everyone has faith in something.
"I have no faith in anything that isn't more supported by evidence than unsupported. The things which I believe but can't prove are useful in practical ways for my everyday life. God's existence is not supported by evidence and has no practical use that can't be obtained from other sources."

Hitler was an atheist. 

No.. he wasn't.  He was brought up Roman Catholic, his mother was Jewish.

-----Instant death for religion---- 

There is the theory of evolution and there is evolution.  Evolution is a fact.  If you complete a 1000 piece puzzle, how many pieces do you have to take out until you can no longer deduce what the image is.   Now look at the Homo Genus that we know about and have documented, and have found.  It is pretty easy to grasp a simple concept like this.

With evolution there is no garden, no adam, no eve, no snake, no sin.  Therefore, no need for forgiveness, no need for a son, and no need for a god to have an unneeded son.  And if you sit there and claim that Evolution is still false and Atheism is Satanism, then you should stop using 'Satans' technology.  Steve Jobs is an Atheist.  So is Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak and Mark Zuckerberg.  Throw away your phones and computers and delete your facebook, or you are going to hell.

(I would love a debating partner who can practice at least 50% of the logical fallacies.  =)  I make music and media against religion and will soon be releasing Part 1 of a dubstep opera / symphony to educate the children of this greed and fiction infested home I call the USA) 

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