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"Be glad you don't have kids!"

I have heard this from people who have children. I am too nice to say what's on my mind, but it is this: "If you don't like having children, then WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE THEM?? Isn't this something you should have thought about before getting pregnant?" I just don't understand this mentality.

Okay, maybe the first kid was a mistake. Mistakes happen, and for whatever reasons, abortion or putting the baby up for adoption are not options. But why would they then go on to have MORE children?? Surely, the first child was enough to convince them that having kids was a stupid idea. What did they hope to accomplish by having yet another child that they didn't really want? Is it just that some women are miserable and looking for fulfillment from some outside source? A sort of "THIS baby will love me and make me happy" kind of thought process? I really don't get it.

Tags: childless, children, too many kids

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lois on September 30, 2011 at 11:32am

I think taxpayers should have a say in who gets our money and who does not. And frankly, if parents really do need the money to help their family survive, then they should be perfectly willing to get their tubes tied (male AND female) so that they don't keep having more children that WE have to pay for. I would be willing to have my tax money pay for the surgery, as the long-term benefits would be far greater than paying for one baby after another that nobody really wants.

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on September 30, 2011 at 1:14pm

The Freedom From Relligion Foundation has tried to bring taxpayer suits against the president, et al, to stop them from pouring taxpayer money into "faith based" grants to do who-knows-what with it. The cases keep getting thrown out of court, not on their merits, but the judges claim the plaintiffs "lack standing." Whatever that is.

If taxpayers can't "petition the government for a redress of grievances," who the *bleep!* can? (I think this kind of thing went on during the Vietnam war when people objected to paying a portion of their taxes to pay for the war. They were thrown out without a hearing, too.

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on September 30, 2011 at 3:04pm

I feel sorry for those kids. They didn't choose their parents. I have often wondered why people who don't like kids have them too. Condoms are free at the health department. Every child deserves to come into a home where they are wanted and loved.

Permalink Reply by Lois on September 30, 2011 at 11:28am

I agree. NO WAY would I go through the misery of pregnancy, the agony of childbirth, and the aggravation of raising kids just for the piddling amount of money I could get from the government! Most of it would go to feeding and clothing the kids, anyway, so it's not like I could get a nice car or a bigger house out of the deal--and if I could, the kids would ruin them! So I guess I don't get the whole have-more-kids-for-more-free-money thing that so many Welfare moms seem to be doing.

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on September 30, 2011 at 1:04pm

Didn't the Federal Government stop, or cut back, on the Aid For Dependent Children program during the Cheney Administration? Part of turning feeding the genuinely hungry over to "faith-based" programs. In other words, the faith-based grants have been spent on proselytizing, not feeding.

I have no children, but I do fall below the "poverty line," so I qualify for the local food bank. This is a fairly good-sized town, with several large parks with rooms for meetings, etc., and other public meeting places, so where did they hand out the high-carb, inedible food? At the Starvation Army headquarters...and while we were waiting for our numbers to be called, a couple of uniformed "Army" members wandered around, handing out their propaganda magazines.

The second time I went, I wore my FFRF "Imagine No Religion" T-shirt. But since the food they handed out was largely useless (white rice, corn flakes, prune [ew!!!] juice, canned milk, powdered milk...ick!) in my case (I'm mildly lactose intolerant and have type 2 diabetes), I stopped going. Wasted whole mornings both times.

If I could have found a "welfare mom" to give those two bags of worthless (to me) stuff to, I would have been happy to do so.

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on September 30, 2011 at 3:16pm

It was Clinton. There's a lifetime limit of 5 years on welfare. It's not the cash cow the xtain right puts out. A person can get food stamps for life, but not Aid to Families with Dependent Children (aka welfare).

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on September 30, 2011 at 4:29pm

Yeah....that was when the neocons took out their "Contract on America," and pushed through what they called "Welfare Reform." Clinton could have vetoed it, but he sometimes had the same problem that Obama does; he thought he could compromise with people who wanted to cut his throat.

(I also think both Clintons were/are under the influence of The Family Fellowship, but I don't know to what degree exactly. Mrs. Clinton wrote about her gratitude for the support of her "prayer partners" ("prare podnuhs") during the impeachment show trial. Buybull-thumping SOBs.)

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on September 30, 2011 at 4:32pm

I remember it vividly because dh's cousin had a baby with a heroin addict and we both said, "she'll dump that child when her welfare runs out." Sure enough, she did.

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on September 30, 2011 at 4:45pm

DUMP it? WHERE? On her parents? So they could scroo it up the way they did their daughter? Or into foster care, which can sometimes be more abusive than the original situation.

I heard these kind of horror stories when I was going to an ACA group. I finally had a bellyfull of the god-talk and quit, but I do think it helped me get over myself, in a way. One more instance of finding out I wasn't alone.

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on September 30, 2011 at 5:12pm

Both parents were equally losers. The girl lives with her paternal grandmother. Believe it or not, it's probably the best that poor girl is going to get.

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on September 24, 2011 at 4:06pm

I grew up in an era when high school students "had to get" married when the girl got pregnant. That happened to one of my closest friends, and the wedding felt more like a funeral. Her first daughter was born the September after our class graduated. She had 3 more daughters after that, and when I asked her "WHY???!" the answer was always, "[husband] wants a boy."

He finally divorced her, and tom-catted around in a Stingray, looking for a trophy wife. (He was tom-catting around the whole time they were married, he just couldn't afford a Stingray. SHE refused to accept alimony...she didn't want to have anything more to do with him, nor did the daughters.)

I was terribly naive; I thought when The Pill became available that there would be no more pregnant brides, and no more...or fewer...abortions. And no more unwanted, hungry, abused children. Boy, was I wrong!

WTFis the matter with people, anyway?

Permalink Reply by Hollyn on September 24, 2011 at 11:12pm