There is a neighbor child that lives behind me who has a really bad home situation. She's been under foot at my house since she was about 9, and I've always tried to give her a safe place to come. We did science fair projects together, and I helped with homework and bought school supplies. When she was of an age, I talked to her about sex, too. As she's gotten older, I've tried to give her advice that would keep her safe without keeping her from having fun. That's not always easy.

Anyway, she's 18 now and will graduate from high school next May. I think she's made good choices about sex, and learned from her mistakes. She still comes to me for advice sometimes, though. She was at my house this weekend showering and washing clothes since the water had been cut off at her house. I noticed she had that look she has when she's working her way around to asking me a question about sex. She squirmed and shuffled, and finally said "Can I ask you something about sex? You don't have to answer if you don't want." I said sure.

She looked uncomfortable for a minute, then blurted out, "Are you supposed to have your eyes open or closed while you're doing it?"

I stifled a guffaw, cause, you know, if you get that bit wrong you might as well give up on sex altogether, and told her there was no hard and fast rule. She should do what makes her comfortable. And that she could have her eyes closed during one part, and open during another...it was all good.

Ah, if only all questions were so easy!

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Well, yeah, sex is full of potentially awkward moments, but I still think each individual should do what is most natural and comfortable for them first, and what works for and with their partner(s) second. There are no hard and fast rules.

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