I have not read this, as it doesn't really apply to me. I am posting it here for your information only. - DG

The Pursuit of Sexual Happiness
What turns women on has long been an elusive question. The authors of a new book hope that understanding why women have sex in the first place could go a long way toward answering it.

A 25-year-old woman has a friend who is a virgin. She's not physically attracted to him, nor does she want to be romantically involved. But she feels sorry for him, pities his inexperience. So she decides she will go home with her friend—to show him how it's done. As she undresses, she feels powerful and sexy—and that feeling (not the presence of her soon-to-be deflowered friend) turns her on. "It boosted my confidence to be the teacher in the situation and made me feel more desirable," the woman says.

The mystery of why women have sex, and what they want out of it, has long been an elusive study—something even Sigmund Freud called "the great question." Researchers have historically theorized that women's motives lie in love and commitment, while newer studies have shown they do it for pleasure, just like men. But women are complicated creatures: their sexual health is determined as much by their emotions as by their physical state, which might help explain why as many as 50 percent of women have trouble getting aroused. Yet while scientists, in recent years, have labored over the "how" of female desire, no major study, until now, has actually asked women to describe why they have sex in the first place.

Read the rest here.

Tags: female, heterosexuality, pleasure, sexual freedom, sexuality, women

Views: 6

Replies to This Discussion

(like a croc in the pond?)
Ok, I'll dive in first.

I think I'm the odd guy (er, girl) out here, but I really, really do not get all the head games of sex-as-revenge, sex-to-make-someone-jealous, sex-to-exert-power, sex-to-prove-I've-still-got-it.

Well, that last one I'll admit ... it's nice to know that I've still got it, but it wouldn't be the primary reason I hop in the sack with a guy.

Dear Abby always said the brain is the primary sex organ and I couldn't agree more. My motives for having/wanting sex are that good old fashioned biological sex drive but coupled with that intimate connection with someone. If I'm not intellectually attracted to someone, I'm not turned on. No matter how much I want/need to get laid.

There. How's that for a start? *Looks 'round the pond for lurking crocs.*
(psssst, dude... your tail is showing!)
As a male I have sex primarily for the enjoyment. When I say enjoyment I don't mean just "getting off" I mean the whole deal of being with someone you like as well. As I have grown older I have learned to please my partner better and have even had sex more for my partner than for myself on a couple of occasions. In general if a man is both mentally and physically healthy and has a good hormonal balance the desire to get off is a natural one. In fact it can be sometimes be a very pervasive feeling of need. Sex releases tension and stress and takes ones mind off from "how am I going to get off" and allows one to focus on other things. I think that is how we evolved to be. The feeling of needing sex allows us to reproduce successfully and frequently. I have been around enough to know that women have this very same feeling of need from time to time.
I agree 100% with you Tina.
"Yes, I feel more macho during sex. If my partner has a good time, I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment."

I'd have to agree ... Whatever the female equivalent is of macho, I do feel that with good sex. "She shoots; she scores!"
Whatever the female equivalent is of macho

:^)
Yes there is an emotional component to sex, for me at least. If there isn't a emotional connection with my partner I would rather just "do it myself" as at least I know what I like.

As to what I feel it depends on the situation, sometimes I feel more macho, others times vulnerable and others tranquil.
I've resisted and resisted responding to this thread and it's partner, but it's been jarring with me.

I am one of those women for whom the study has no pigeon hole. I was a toy for men in my youth, never again. I have sex because I want to, I pick partners because I want them, I have sexual predilections because I like them. I am unconcerned about emotion, for me it is a physical act. I have no need for any emotional attachment in order to thoroughly enjoy myself, in fact I'd prefer there was no emotion. Oh and if I say I am no strings attached, don't expect me to grow any.
Agreed. I am as honest as I can be without hurting feelings, so when I say I don't want the peripheral aspects of a sexual relationship I mean it. In my experience, men 'love' this idea till they realise that means I am not going to change. I appreciate that emotions develop and I am not immune to that, however if I reiterate it's a physical relationship only, that means I am not developing any attachment.

I know women who say they wish they were like me and I know others who say I am deluding myself. I know men who are intimidated by my forthright attitude. To them all I say we all do what works for us. I do not apologise for my sexuality just as I ask nobody to apologise for theirs. I do ask that people stop trying to pigeon hole me and others to make themselves feel more comfortable though. Guess I'll be waiting on that a while.
ditto here,

I've spent most of my life riding against the current, and the only reason I'm not now is because society just happens to be on the same path with me.
Ok, let me add another category here: Sex as celebration of achievement. Like right now, I'm well on my way to being the Web Designer and all-around Computer Goddess of what looks like a promising new Custom Choppers/Motorcycle business. My first ever solo design project and they are head-over-heels over my rough drafts. Building and administering a network once they have a storefront is right up my alley. This could very well be my big break from evil micromanagers and 'settling' for jobs I hate to pay the bills.

And man does all that sense of accomplishment make me horny!

Maybe this goes in the prove-I've-still-got-it/self-esteem category. Maybe it's the sap in me that just needs a pat on the back from a loved one. But it's times like this I'm left looking 'round my empty bed thinking "Damn! I need someone to share this with!" Possibly even more so than needing a shoulder to lean on when life sucks.

Does that make sense?

RSS

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

MJ

© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service