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kissing and how you feel about it/what it means to you

Scott started a topic similar to this in Atheist Singles. He indicated that he looks at kissing as a gateway to sex. I gave it some thought, and realized that I have kissed several men and women that I had no intention of having sex with.

So, I am asking for your thoughts on this, and your general thoughts on kissing. I'm sure some dig it and some can live without it.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on February 23, 2011 at 1:47pm

I love kissing. I find it intoxicating. However, I kiss men that I hope to sleep with. I have no other reason to, I suppose.

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on February 23, 2011 at 4:40pm

It is quite common in the south for the opposite sex to kiss on the lips when greeting each other in social situations, especially in certain settings. I guess we learn to do it at country club parties and the like. It would seem odd for me to go to a party and not have my father's fraternity brothers kiss me on the lips. I'm sure this sounds weird, and it kind of is now that I am writing it down. Even as an out gay woman, I get kissed on the lips by at least 6-10 guys a week.

Permalink Reply by Steven Patterson on February 23, 2011 at 5:30pm

Texas must be a bit different than Georgia.

Speaking for hetero men everywhere (including your father's frat brothers, probably) at least some of the 6-10 guys who are kissing you every week are doing so because they think you're quite a gal.

It's not that weird. ; )

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on February 24, 2011 at 1:12pm

You say that to all the girls:)

I will confess, when a man (that I know) greets me with, "Hello beautiful," he gets a better kiss. I fall for it every time.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on February 24, 2011 at 1:47am

Only only time, yes ONLY time I've seen hello kisses on the lips, were by that cooky (for many reasons) USA blond gymnast (age 16 or so) who after each apparatus shared a full on kiss on the lips with her dad, that creeped me out a little. I think many moms kiss their children on the mouth when they're infants... but most grow out of that, tho I once saw a French friend of mine do it to her 7 y/o son, that weirded me out a little too.

Surprisingly little of European greeting kissing involves the lips at all, it's often a vocal kiss with only cheek contact, or an ever so slight brush of the lips to the cheeks, but usually zero lingering.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on February 24, 2011 at 1:49am

hehe, makes me think, in most cases, for me... holding hands is more intimate than sex!

I generally would never walk down a street or even in private holding hands unless I had already been sexually intimate with that person.

Permalink Reply by Steven Patterson on February 23, 2011 at 4:26pm

Even in American culture there are different kinds of kissing. So much so, that it counts almost as a continuum, I think.

There is the kiss you give your child before bedtime, the kiss you give your sister-in-law during a holiday visit, the kiss good-bye you give your significant other going out the door to work, the kiss on the cheek you give your new girlfriend on the second date (that says: I really like you and this is going well for me, and I hope for you), the kiss on the cheek she gives you on the third date (that says: it is not going well for me and this is our last date), not to be confused with the kiss that Michael gave his brother Fredo in the Godfather (the kiss of death), the kiss you give your cousin at his father's funeral, the kiss that progresses to hair pulling and almost inevitably to sex, the kiss that is long and intimate and is an altogether satisfying replacement for sex (and if you haven't had one of these, you really don't know what you're missing).

And, there's a bunch I left out, because for you non-mathematicans out there, continuums contain an infinite number of degrees (or things, or points, or call them what you will). In my experience, only a few of them in the kissing continuum lead to sex, but a lot of them lead to, or are themselves an expression of, something deeper and even better.

And this is the way it should be, in my own humble opinion of course.

Human intimacy should not, and can not, be reduced to the binary decision matrix: sex/no sex.

On the other hand, I don't understand people who don't like kissing (or cheese cake, for that matter).

Weirdos.

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on February 23, 2011 at 4:42pm

I like kissing, too. One of the hottest things that has ever happened to me in my life involved making out with a hot milf in her husband's suburban. Mother f, I'd take that experience again over sex any day.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on February 24, 2011 at 1:32am

There are simply different forms of kissing.... which ones say "I want to fuck":

Forehead: no

nose: no

earlobe: yes

cheek: no

bottom cheeks: yes

Both face lips at once, quickly: no

Both face lips at once, slowly: maybe, depending on remaining face to face or turning away after

Each face lip sequentially: yes

Vulvar lips: yes

Open mouth kiss: yes

hand kiss: maybe

neck kiss: yes

Sequential kissing: yes

Sequential kissing (outside of "hello" conventions) increases my libido in direct proportion to the number of landed kisses. Basically, any wanted kiss lasting more than a second is a gateway to my entire body. Needless to say, I stay on top of who I'm kissing :O

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on February 24, 2011 at 7:22am

Haha! Labia majora: yes. Labia minora: more yes. Brilliant!

Permalink Reply by Carl Esser on February 25, 2011 at 1:15pm

I love kissing, intense and wet French kissing. It is the gateway to my heart... and my pants. Oh, and kissing is an art which isn't mastered by every woman, too sad...

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on February 25, 2011 at 4:53pm

I agree that it isn't mastered by every woman. So disappointing!