Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jason Fleming on March 4, 2012 at 7:28pm

That would depend on the marriage and how the target of the flirtation feels about it. My wife for example has no problem with me flirting with anyone as long as it doesn't make them feel uncomfortable. But we're pretty unconventional.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on July 18, 2012 at 11:57am

I think I agree with Jason's reply.

Permalink Reply by Garaidh Mac an tSaoir on March 4, 2012 at 9:31pm

That's an interesting question.  Honestly, I'm of the opinion that flirting is a socially acceptable way of putting out feelers.  I'm married and in a monogamous relationship.  But, I don't think that people are monogamous by nature, so marriage was a real compromise for me - one with which I will never be entirely satisfied or comfortable.  I didn't marry until I was 46 years old and enjoyed the single life for a long time.  But, life is about compromises.  So, if you accept that flirting is putting out feelers, it sounds to me that you have to decide where the line is drawn.  Is flirting acceptable, so long as your spouse doesn't take it any further? I sincerely hope that you find your way through this one.

Permalink Reply by Saint Fillan on March 5, 2012 at 5:49am

I suppose this also depends on how you define flirting.
Where are your boundries?

Permalink Reply by Saint Fillan on March 5, 2012 at 5:49am

*boundaries

Permalink Reply by Garaidh Mac an tSaoir on March 17, 2012 at 1:04pm

I happened across this today and recalled this discussion.  The comments and video speak to your question.

http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-02-2012/can-men-wom...

Permalink Reply by Kevin Boleyn on March 27, 2013 at 7:12pm

I think the definition largely sets the boundaries. What some might see as friendly conversation between two adults might be seen by someone else as flirtatious. Why, because of smiles exchanged? A perceived tone? An imagined look?

Jealousy can also influence the definition and the perceptions, and work to establish unrealistic boundaries.

Permalink Reply by Lonna Duzan on February 3, 2013 at 12:31pm

NEW TO THE GROUP AND JUST BROWSING, BUT I HAVE TO PUT IN MY TWO CENTS...TRANSITIONING GRADUALLY, AND WITHOUT INTENT, INTO A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND, I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A QUESTION OF "HOW MANY RULES DOES YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAVE - AND IS SOMEBODY BEING "OWNED" IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, OR DO YOU HAVE FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF, WITHOUT FEAR OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER HITTING THE ROAD?"

Permalink Reply by EJN on March 2, 2013 at 10:33am

How are you defining flirt? I find lots of problems with the word in general, because I have been branded a flirt before, but usually (like 99 percent of the time) I have no sexual undertone.