We all know that men and women of both orientations have often had experiences with people who were the opposite gender of their natural sexual orientation. No surprises there. I’m going to assume that most of us realize that there is a difference between orientation and the sex act, as well, i.e., a straight man can have gay sex and still be quite straight. But I am curious as to what your experiences were like. This is kind of long, so please read through and answer all you can.

Briefly, let me tell you my experiences. I have never been aroused by a woman at all. Only once or twice have I had a fleeting impulse to touch a woman’s breasts, but it has never been acted on or pursued. They were very surprising and temporary impulses. I have been with several straight men over the years for erotic/non-sexual play, and for sex as well. Seems to me that most straight men who do have same-gender experiences are more interested in active or passive fellatio, and less interested in active or passive intercourse with other men.

Part 1
Straight people: Have you ever had a desire, impulse, erotic but non-sexual, or sexual experience with a member of your own gender? If so, do you regret it, or have fond memories of it? Would you do it again? How did it come about? How far did it go?

Gay people: Same questions, opposite gender.

Part 2
What about watching porn? I know gay men can easily watch straight porn and get really turned on. Either they ignore the woman, or in their minds eye, they substitute themselves in her place. Alternately, I think a lot of men just like seeing a man in action – doing it no matter who is receiving it. I know it’s like that for me! It’s just hot to watch a man at it.

So gay men, I assume you can watch straight porn just fine. Correct?

Straight women, what is it like for you to watch gay porn? Is it erotic to you? What about lesbian porn?

Lesbian women, do you get aroused by straight porn?

Straight men, can you still get exited by seeing men do it, even though a woman is absent? Does seeing the act excite you at all, like watching straight porn does for gay men? What about lesbian porn?

Part 3
This is for straight men only.

I’ll admit that I really like straight men a lot of the time, simply because I like masculine men, and a lot of the mannerisms and affectations of gay men really turn me off. I’ve been with straight men, mostly friends, but I am quite interested in sharing more experiences with straight men. So if you’ve ever been tempted to be with a man, or have been with one, what is the best approach for a guy to take to broach the subject, or what does he need to say? What seals the deal for you? Is there a key to it? Are looks as important for straight men to do it with a man, as they are for gay men? Is there an easy answer to this?

Tags: Bisexuality, GLBT, Homosexuality, Lesbianism, Porn, Sex, Sexuality

Views: 106

Replies to This Discussion

Tribadism is vulva-on-vulva. Usually it involves one women rubbing her clitoris against the other woman's genitals.
OK, thanks.
I think I was currious about what it would be like more than a desire itself.

I think it is quite normal to be curious. I'm totally gay, but I'm still mildly curious about what it would be like to be with a woman. But it is motivated by curiosity, not sexual desire.

I've noticed I must have an emotional connection with a woman in order to have these thoughts. With a man the sex is better if I have a connection, but it's not required.

I agree. A connection is important.

I have always secretly loved watching two men.

That is not an uncommon fantasy among straight women.

Many times in my life I have been told I am gay and just do not know it yet; I do not agree with this.

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to name it. Just enjoy whatever feelings give you pleasure.
Tomboyish, yet very straight female here:

Part 1: Sort of, in the sense of "Wow, I'd totally go gay for a night for [insert actress name here]." But have never acted on it in real life. The opportunity has rarely arisen.

A) In real life my only desire is to go as far as making-out with another female, not full on sex (Was it this thread where someone said boobs are fascinating, like flesh jello?). Sorry, nothing homophobic about it. But when I pass a particular point I'm looking for the almighty penis, combined with the hard chest, man hands, etc. And I just don't think another woman holding the vibrator would suffice as an alternative.

B) If ever I did act out on it, I don't think I could do so with a stranger. It would have to be someone I very, very much trust. But I also wouldn't do it with a friend because that would totally weird out the friendship (almost had the opportunity to with a friend once, and not wanting to weird out the friendship is what stopped me). So no strangers, no friends, I guess that means it remains forever up to my imaginary encounter with Angie Harmon. ;-)

Part 2: While I absolutely have my girl-crushes and fantasies, somehow lesbian porn absolutely turns me off. I suppose because 99.9% of it is actually geared towards guys and looks horribly fake. Gay softporn can sometimes turn me on but not the hardcore. Again, aimed mostly at guys. Having zero interest in anal and what I think is a healthy interest in oral but not the obsessive interest one finds in porn, that doesn't leave much in male gay porn for me. I find the general formula for straight porn is:

- 1 minute of decent foreplay
- 15 minutes of girl giving guy blow job
- 10 minutes of sex, 8 of which looks really uncomfortable or painful for the woman.
- Cumshot. (Ewwwwww)

Which leaves me just over 1 minute at the start and 2 minutes somewhere towards the end but with my finger over the pause button before it gets to that cumshot that will turn me off for the rest of the week.

All that said, I've had an MMF make-out session once. But I don't think that applies here. ;-)
I think a lot of gay guys have bisexual tendencies, since some of them really flirt and like to play with boobs (some are grossed out by pussy, of course). It's just that being a bisexual male is even more difficult than being a gay male. They usually aren't accepted by women, they don't have much of a community of their own, and there's even the presumption that "there's no such thing as a bisexual guy".

Being that I'm known as "the girl who likes man-on-man action", I've heard some confidences from guys who otherwise are known as straight--some of them have really surprised me! From macho, partying 21 year olds to big burly car mechanics whose favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain, I don't assume anything about sexual orientation based on someone's appearance anymore.
Self-identify as heterosexual woman.

1. As I believe you and I have discussed before, I am more aware of women's sexual attractiveness than men's and find the naked female form to be more beautiful. Especially during puberty I often felt strong sexual attraction to women as well as men. Since hormone upheaval, I have never had genuine desire to have either a sexual or romantic relationship with women. I often win "gay chicken" though. Then again, if I hadn't been in the same monogamous relationship since my youth, I might very well have been more "bi-curious."

2. Never watched porn. Never saw the appeal.
Kinsey (2004) Kinsey

Alfred Kinsey expressed it well, we're all somewhere on that scale, IMO not as many people as that are 100% hetero or homo.

I myself have to use the scale on 2 different levels: If I gage satisfaction instead of mere "experience", I'd say I'm a 1 for physical level on his scale, but a 5 on an emotional level.

Through the years, I've had girlfriends/lovers (who happened to be straight) and boyfriends/lovers (of which a couple might have been closet gays). As a youth I was a tomboy and only developped breasts very late in life (well, in fact I developped fat LOL) and a "fag hag" as a young adult, today I love a guy with good muscle tone and large penis yet dislike guys with body hair and who enjoy watching professional sports on TV... basically relationships are pretty much not my success story!!! ha ha :(

By the late 80s pretty much everyone I knew had tried sexual relations with the same sex at least once. Those were very liberal years with sex drugs and rock'n roll (and European House). But then came AIDS.

Porn? have no interest in lesbian porn, or in hetero male lesbian fantasies (except if the guy's active in there), and less than zero interest for gay porn. But straight, group, varied porn, yes, probably more than average.

I guess I'm blessed to be a gender fucked-up female instead of a male. It seems we tomboy females have it easier than feminine men. I especially wouldn't want to be a hermaphrodite. I think of the sad confusion that these people have to live through in situations such as sporting events where they must "fit" either a female or male definition. Maybe we can have a hermaphrodite category in the special olympics.

The hermaphrodite brings up a quite difficult issue in our definitions for society. Even biologically it is not clear how to define male/female, some biologists say we must look at the exterior physical attributes, others say we must look at hormonal balance, then if one considers hormonal balance, one must take into account at which age. For before puberty hormones play very different roles than after puberty. So if a male wants to become a female and goes through the hormonal transformation, they are still mostly male as their puberty is what really matters. I myself was a boobless female with ever so slightly higher testosterone levels, which made me a good athlete, so where do we cut the difference? For a male to honestly hormonally transform into a female, the hormonal substitutions would need to happen well before puberty. The same could be said for women, although steroid use does seem to be able to overcome the absense of male puberty to a large extent.

I hope our society comes to a point where males can be as comfortable expressing their "feminin" sides as we females have become with expressing our male aspects, without going through the whole drama, I just can't stand all the drama that transgender men bring onto the feminin definition. There is only one thing more ugly than a woman with thick makeup on and that's a transgender man with thick makeup, ieuwhhhh!!!!

My favorite straight man has a huge body features (legs, hands, lips, ...etc :) and a feminin soul. Is it any wonder I'm single!?!

I am gay. Before I really new that, I had "sex" with a couple of girls, nothing penetrative, and it never really turned me on or did anything for me. I am still friendly with one of the girls twenty years on. I wouldn't do it again - far too much like hard work and i do not find the "squelchiness" of it all appealing - but sometimes I can be captivated by a woman's breasts. I don't regret my experiences with girls but neither do I have any fond memories, other than the one girl who came to see me a week before her wedding day clearly intending to sleep with me - a last fling, which in some ways I find flattering.


Straight porn does little for me - that squelchiness thing again. A woman's nether regions do nothing for me.

More than just orientation, a lot of people have different standards about when they are going to out themselves as bi or straight with cross orientation experiences. Basically yes is the answer. Looks aren't important. My orientation is pretty clear and straight. I just happen to be easy going and open to stuff.

I think exploring what you're into is one of the things people are supposed to do with their life. What you're into will of course vary.


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