We all know that men and women of both orientations have often had experiences with people who were the opposite gender of their natural sexual orientation. No surprises there. I’m going to assume that most of us realize that there is a difference between orientation and the sex act, as well, i.e., a straight man can have gay sex and still be quite straight. But I am curious as to what your experiences were like. This is kind of long, so please read through and answer all you can.

Briefly, let me tell you my experiences. I have never been aroused by a woman at all. Only once or twice have I had a fleeting impulse to touch a woman’s breasts, but it has never been acted on or pursued. They were very surprising and temporary impulses. I have been with several straight men over the years for erotic/non-sexual play, and for sex as well. Seems to me that most straight men who do have same-gender experiences are more interested in active or passive fellatio, and less interested in active or passive intercourse with other men.

Part 1
Straight people: Have you ever had a desire, impulse, erotic but non-sexual, or sexual experience with a member of your own gender? If so, do you regret it, or have fond memories of it? Would you do it again? How did it come about? How far did it go?

Gay people: Same questions, opposite gender.

Part 2
What about watching porn? I know gay men can easily watch straight porn and get really turned on. Either they ignore the woman, or in their minds eye, they substitute themselves in her place. Alternately, I think a lot of men just like seeing a man in action – doing it no matter who is receiving it. I know it’s like that for me! It’s just hot to watch a man at it.

So gay men, I assume you can watch straight porn just fine. Correct?

Straight women, what is it like for you to watch gay porn? Is it erotic to you? What about lesbian porn?

Lesbian women, do you get aroused by straight porn?

Straight men, can you still get exited by seeing men do it, even though a woman is absent? Does seeing the act excite you at all, like watching straight porn does for gay men? What about lesbian porn?

Part 3
This is for straight men only.

I’ll admit that I really like straight men a lot of the time, simply because I like masculine men, and a lot of the mannerisms and affectations of gay men really turn me off. I’ve been with straight men, mostly friends, but I am quite interested in sharing more experiences with straight men. So if you’ve ever been tempted to be with a man, or have been with one, what is the best approach for a guy to take to broach the subject, or what does he need to say? What seals the deal for you? Is there a key to it? Are looks as important for straight men to do it with a man, as they are for gay men? Is there an easy answer to this?

Tags: Bisexuality, GLBT, Homosexuality, Lesbianism, Porn, Sex, Sexuality

Views: 96

Replies to This Discussion

Yeah, same. geeze. XD
Ditto.
I am as well.
me too.
wooo bisexuals!
That's a lot of you bi women-folk being vocal about waiting it out. A fascinating development...
I don't think our input was asked for.
Same here. Bi-male.
I agree with The Nerd. Sexuality is an extraoridnary thing, and expresses itself in many ways. There is nothing to be afraid of. When is making love to another person ever wrong?
I:
I had a brief fling with a black transsexual/transgender last year. She was very much in control of our first encounter. That's a rare thing in my partners, and I appreciate each and every time I find that quality. I had to discontinue the relationship for issues completely unrelated to sex (which was interesting, getting used to another man's body...especially his largeness).

Did I enjoy the experience? Somewhat. Would I do it again? Maybe. Would I ever go all the way with a man who identified as one? Ehhhhhhhhh... I still got reservations with that. Maybe if a woman were involved, it would be more acceptable to me.

II:
Watching guy-on-guy porn doesn't do much for me. Lesbian porn is okay, depending on the setting and buildup. After all, these are women simulating pleasure. Seeing (especially hearing) a woman's pleasure is a little intoxicating for me. Two women writhing and bucking and rubbing against each other? Yeah, that's the ticket!

III:
There's definitely no easy answer to a gay man wanting to have sex with me. I don't really think of the Tgirl episode as gay sex. Two penises involved, yes, but he identified with the feminine aspect. And that matters a lot to me. I have no reservations about penii, just the personalities attached to them. I have some serious fears and fantasies about being abusively dominated by a masculine personality.

Your best bet is to recruit a female partner to get me into a 3-way. I can feel a lot more comfortable with myself being with a man if a woman is also involved.
Ken, regarding number III: You wrote "...he identified with the feminine aspect. And that matters a lot to me. I have no reservations about penii, just the personalities attached to them. I have some serious fears and fantasies about being abusively dominated by a masculine personality."

That is interesting because personality or identification is such an integral part of attractions. I spoke to another guy that sort of like the extremely feminine transexual type, though he identifies with being straight for the most part. As far as the personalities attached to them, I think you hit the nail on the head, and that is why I so often like straight men: for their masculine personalities. I could absolutely never date a feminine cross-dresser or drag queen, or just a feminine guy in general. It is not that I am devaluing them as a person. They can act and dress as they choose, and I don't have an issue with it. But I absolutely am not drawn in any way, shape, or form to femininity in men. Only masculine men awaken in me those feelings of longing and desire.

Now that does not mean that only macho men attract me. On the contrary, I also find thin, intellectual, dorky guys very attractive too, as long as they are not fem. And I can be attracted to men who are what I call "soft", being that they are small, thin, delicate types, but again, as long as they have no affectations of femininity (which is rare).

I'm not sure that I can define what I mean by masculine, though. It is not some frat boy jock type who is all "Duh, me like beer und football!" That's not what I mean. Nor does it necessarily mean hairy bodybuilder types, either. It is something more to do with something innate that makes its presence known on a subconscious level. Does that make sense?

I imagine it does to you, because of how wrote your response.

But tell me, what does this mean?: "I have some serious fears and fantasies about being abusively dominated by a masculine personality."
I won't go into what that last sentence means here. I don't trust strangers with that kind of information. Y'all can know my history and I know you're curious, but some places I won't let just anybody know about.

Now what I see you describing more is effeminate, which is a little different than feminine IMO. I live close to Wilton Manors and see twinks and bottoms "ruthing about aaaall over the place, honey!" *insert wrist flip here* The RuPaul thing just isn't my style either. Something more like Linetrap (NSFW) is more my taste. Ladyboys, not drag queens, you know?

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