It occurred to me, at some point, that I had somehow picked up some very skewed perspective of female sexuality (e.g. women don't like sex, but rather simply submit to it to satisfy men).

Since I made this realization, I have been hard at work to correct my misconceptions. A neighbor and I were recently discussing gender sexuality. I told her that I felt it was a piece of sexual discrimination that men were allowed to go without shirts in public (under certain circumstances, like running or a day on the beach) while women were not permitted to do the same. Now, I realize this is due in part to the way that our society has defined gender sexuality, specifically the sexual aspect of women's breasts. They are mammary glands, functioning biologically for the purpose of feeding the young; however, they tend to give rise to sexual arousal in men, and I think this is why, primarily, that we have such a discriminatory rule.

Also, I feel that, as we are gaining ground in gender equality and as women and men near parity in gender equality, the expectations that we have for men and for women respectively should begin to apply to the opposite sex. For example, I feel that women should begin to assert themselves with respect to approaching men that they find attractive, those men that they are interested in (a role that we have traditionally put men in) , and that men should be more willing to become more passive in sexual activity (presuming an increase in women's desire to be more active/dominant).

Here are my questions:

1.) Should women be allowed, upon the basis of gender equality/non-discrimination among genders, to go topless just as men do in certain circumstances, e.g. a day on the beach?

2.) Is it acceptable or desirable that women should become more active or assertive in pursuing or approaching men that they desire, thus engaging in an act or fulfilling a role that men have traditionally found themselves in?

It is true that I am biased. I, being a shy kind of guy, do not approach women in bars or clubs, and it would be to my advantage if women were more apt to approach me. Also, I do feel a kind of hurt resentment with the notion that men's chests are somehow not as sexually appealing as women's breast, such that there is no prohibition against men displaying their torsos because it will not excite the sexual appetite of most women. However, I do not deny that this could very well be the "reality of things".

Tags: gender, nudity, public

Views: 38

Replies to This Discussion

I've always wondered what training bras were supposed to train breasts to do. Sit up and beg? Roll over and play dead? Fetch?
I've always wondered what training bras were supposed to train breasts to do. Sit up and beg? Roll over and play dead? Fetch?

Shake? Or not.
That was a good set up, yes? We should take our act on the road.
Leaving the first question alone, mostly, but I want to say yes. On the other hand, I think a topless woman in jeans is crazy hot, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask. But I think the prohibition simply comes from a time where it was assumed that yes, women didn't have much in the way of sexual desires, and that those they did have they could contain easily. It's always assumed that men are less able, and less expected, to curb their urges... even if you're not telling women they have to walk around in tents, there are little clues like this. I always found it rather insulting to the men who do have an ounce of self-control.

Okay, I didn't leave it alone at all ^^;

As for the second, of course it's acceptable! Really, it already is acceptable... it just needs the time to become more popular. Society will grow into it eventually; for now you just have to hope you're around the right people. There are already plenty of women who prefer shy men and find them more desirable - both emotionally and sexually - than the stereotypical "take charge" man. Of course we're in a minority, but as gender roles are forced to be more flexible, and as various groups push at society to recognise how blurred the "gender line" can be, I can only see us growing.
1.) As far as I'm concerned, both genders should be allowed to go totally nude in any public area. No one sane was ever traumatized by looking at a naked body! :P But obviously, it's a dumb double-standard to allow men to go topless but not women.

2.) Personally, I'd say yes. As Spider-man would say, "With great power comes great responsibility." If women really want equality, then there are two sides of that.

Now, certainly, some women, just as some men, will be naturally shy and it wouldn't be fair to expect them to be aggressive as someone else - but (assuming that oughts and ought-nots apply to this area) the women who are more aggressive ought not to require men to take the first step. Anecdotally, I hear from women friends/acquaintances regularly that so-and-so that they like just won't "man up" and ask them out, or have been asked out but absolutely refuse to do the asking for the second date, and so on.

One funny story - one woman I knew actually sent me an e-mail to tell me to call her because she didn't want to take the initiative in our relationship. She wanted that romance-novel man who would pursue and pursue without her needing to take any responsibility for the relationship.

The point is, it feels good to be told you're attractive. It feels good to be pursued. While the different-strokes-for-different-folks principle applies here, and there's going to be some diversity in people's relationships, there's no reason why one gender should have to be the aggressive one regardless of individual personality.
1.) As far as I'm concerned, both genders should be allowed to go totally nude in any public area. No one sane was ever traumatized by looking at a naked body! :P But obviously, it's a dumb double-standard to allow men to go topless but not women.

Theoretically, yes. But that is just unhygienic.
Worse than kissing? :P If we're talking sitting down on park benches and thing, then maybe - I'd like to see what data on that there are. But our mouths are the dirtiest places on our bodies, and our hands the second most, and no one would argue that everyone wear face masks and gloves for the sake of hygiene. Is restricting nudity really about public health? :P
True, our hands and our mouths are dirty, but I don't kiss or touch every person I see. If I sit in a theater chair or a park bench in the nude after other nude people sat there, then yes, I think that is unhygienic. Covering up our tender vittles keeps them from spreading the germs they are likely to carry. Of course, there are also issues of touching door knobs, counter tops, toilet seats, etc., that spread germs via the hands, but it is easy to wash your hands, and to avoid putting them in your mouth and nose.
"Covering up our tender vittles keeps them from spreading the germs they are likely to carry."
I agree. Nudists carry towels with them for this reason. It's rude to sit on anything without it.
Have you ever head David Sedaris's story about visiting the nudist colony?
No- I'll go look it up
yep! that's pretty much it! You develop selective sight after a while though.

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