any women have fantasies? Please tell me it's not just a "man's pleasure"!

I am a person who has many (recurring and new) very intense sexual fantasies and I always feel so guilty about them. A tape plays in my head over and over again that it's a sin and if something bad happens to me, that means I am being punished.

I have read "My Secret Garden", which brings me back to reality, talking about many kinds of sexual fantasies that *women* have.

And they live "normal" lives, many of them even believe in a God.

I am more in touch now with trauma memories from my earliest childhood existance, where I was severely punished for touching myself or for even feeling some kind of physical pleasure.

"That's not nice, Jencarlene!" (punctuated by hitting) "Shame on you!"

I grew up so scared of my body and sensations.

Scared of being female, too. I remember wanting to be a boy!

Even more scared of people.

So I have these fantasies and feel extreme anxiety afterward.

J.

Views: 74

Replies to This Discussion

Hell yes women have fantasies!  Mine usually involve Henry Rollins for some reason.....

I really enjoyed reading this thread again tonight.

Beat it with logic.

 

I do believe that parenting laced with anti-gender/anti-sex talk IS abuse.

 

I made an atheist abuse group here.

 

ty,

 

J.

My fantasies revolve around becoming a superheroine or having special powers, and romancing guys like Dick Grayson(Robin, Batman's Sidekick for you non-nerds), or working side-by-side with Rorshach from Watchmen or Fanfictiony Scenes that insert myself into Stargate or random movies.....yeah,

Most of mine are things that will never happen, I accept that they will, though. I'm not mourning a lack of superheroes in the world.

Fantasies are healthy, I'm a writer--my stories started with fantasies, specifically fanfiction, but basically fantasies about how I'd like to see things happen.

I guess I'm lucky enough to live in something of my own fantasy world, and isolate myself from what my parents tried to teach--none of the racism or misogyny took.

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