any women have fantasies? Please tell me it's not just a "man's pleasure"!

I am a person who has many (recurring and new) very intense sexual fantasies and I always feel so guilty about them. A tape plays in my head over and over again that it's a sin and if something bad happens to me, that means I am being punished.

I have read "My Secret Garden", which brings me back to reality, talking about many kinds of sexual fantasies that *women* have.

And they live "normal" lives, many of them even believe in a God.

I am more in touch now with trauma memories from my earliest childhood existance, where I was severely punished for touching myself or for even feeling some kind of physical pleasure.

"That's not nice, Jencarlene!" (punctuated by hitting) "Shame on you!"

I grew up so scared of my body and sensations.

Scared of being female, too. I remember wanting to be a boy!

Even more scared of people.

So I have these fantasies and feel extreme anxiety afterward.

J.

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Replies to This Discussion

It's just compounding the whole issue of "my worth is my vagina".

Great. Now I feel a strange urge to work the phrase "my worth is my vagina" into casual conversation this week.
That's always a fun game. :P

Actually, female and male "rape" fantasies are different from each other.

For men, it's about taking the most valuable thing from a woman, without asking, reducing her to something beneath him, something he controls.

For women, it's about having sexuality that just drives a guy WILD and makes him you know, rip off her clothes and make crazy passionate love to her right there. That's what I've had described to me, several times.

The male fantasy is "easier" to make come true, than a female rape fantasy is.

Well, one of them is about Commander Data on Star Trek.

Guess I'm a geek too.

J.
I know some people who really have a thing for Spock. Of course there are lots of Kirk/Spock stories and other combinations. I haven't hung around with a lot of fans in awhile, but knowing how they are, I'm convinced there have got to be some others who think Data is groovy. (Come to think of it he might be the most interesting person on the Next Generation.)
I never had the attraction to the near-emotionless vulcans/data.

Until the new Star Trek movie with Zachary Quinto as Spock. Damn he's hot.

Still wildly overshadowed though by John Cho as Sulu. Beyond hot. Molten. *Swoon.*
That sounds like an interesting read. Thanks for the tip!
ty.

I am in the process of attempting to de-program myself.

I am talking back to "God", saying, "You can punish me all you want, but that is NOT going to stop me!"

And I will look up that book.

ty,

Jencarlene
So what role does fantasy have in mental health? A fantasy is partly reality not taken place in time for the fantaciser right? It is like planning a trip you did not go on. Even if you may never plan to play out all or any of your fantasy, your life may be playing out this fantasy in reality in a relative way. Talking about your fantasy to those who do not find your fantasy silly is a way to interpret your feelings to make your feelings justifiable and real.
Tonight's sexual fantasy involves me not being the only Atheist for a hundred mile radius.
LOL!
I have had that one many times!
I have all sorts of dirty fantasies. I love them, except when I can't seem to get anything done because I'm too busy being horny. At 27, I turned into a walking hormone, and realized what all those 18 year old boys that would never leave me alone were feeling. At least I have will power and wisdom to keep me from acting on some really dumb crap that pops in my head. I'm totally a slut, and proud to admit it (amongst this crowd). If you can claim we have any joyous purpose on this planet, it's basically to 1. eat 2. sleep 3. screw. Why not indulge in them if you like them? (obviously, be careful, but that goes with anything you do.)

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