any women have fantasies? Please tell me it's not just a "man's pleasure"!

I am a person who has many (recurring and new) very intense sexual fantasies and I always feel so guilty about them. A tape plays in my head over and over again that it's a sin and if something bad happens to me, that means I am being punished.

I have read "My Secret Garden", which brings me back to reality, talking about many kinds of sexual fantasies that *women* have.

And they live "normal" lives, many of them even believe in a God.

I am more in touch now with trauma memories from my earliest childhood existance, where I was severely punished for touching myself or for even feeling some kind of physical pleasure.

"That's not nice, Jencarlene!" (punctuated by hitting) "Shame on you!"

I grew up so scared of my body and sensations.

Scared of being female, too. I remember wanting to be a boy!

Even more scared of people.

So I have these fantasies and feel extreme anxiety afterward.

J.

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Replies to This Discussion

Oh yeah, we have fantasies. I was making a list of them all the other day. They also make their way into books and short stories. In fact I probably have more than my husband, who is really vague about his.

"Don't you think about hot chicks at work? Or [my friend]?"

"Well it's not gonna happen, so why think about it?"...that's the whole point! In fantasy you can do whatever you want!
I figure the best ones are the one's that can't happen.
I have a few fantasies about dead celebrities. One is getting stoned and talking about cosmic stuff and making out with Carl Sagan.
Geek.

Or getting stoned with Carl Sagan and a young Richard Dawkins and generally sort of laying on a giant plushy couch with them. *drool*

Yeah, this is going into the box.

ty.

I have heard people use that line to me, too ("it's not going to happen...")

I think it's more unhealthy not to have fantasies.

Cause then you are limited to "real" stuff and that can get pretty boring. lol

J.
Who wants to fantasize about sitting at home alone on a weekend watching re-runs of TV shows they dont even like and eating TV dinners? Whooo-hoo, sounds HOT!
There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with having sexual fantasies! The fact that you were punished for "pleasuring yourself" is just evidence of how ANTI-SEX religion is! Fantasize, and as long as they do NOT involve non-consenting adults, or kids, or animals, CARRY ONE OUT! ;)
Do men dressed as unicorns count as animals?
I guess it depends on how well they behave.
Women are just as horny as men just most of us won't show it and it's more unacceptable in our uptight culture. I mean how many derogatory words do they have for women compared to men-especially when it comes to sex? It's such a double-standard. Everyone knows it but nobody does anything about it.
I've never felt that I'm as horny as the average man. But then, I hardly feel horny at all. :P So. That would make sense.

We definitely need to let up on that crap. It's just compounding the whole issue of "my worth is my vagina". And the idea that men want sex, and women "tolerate" it. I just finished reading this book by a Mormon author and she relates something towards the lines of how it upset her that femaleness always seemed "less" than maleness, but she had been taught that to have a male want you somehow balanced that (Ugh. UGH.). I wish I could find the quote but it is lost.

It described very well the frustrating way we teach girls who they are. You are female. Men want you-- but don't let them have you until they OWN you. With paperwork. They're all disgusting, sex-driven vermin, but if you can convince them to wait for marriage then everything will work out. Say what?

Not to mention we put women in change of keeping these mens "uncontrollable" sexuality at bay? They put restrictions on women, so that it's easier for men to refrain from raping them. My sister knew a girl who was raped, and her bishop wanted to ex-communicate her for being unclean.

Not to mention, if a man gets raped, we don't even call it rape. And we find it humorous. Because of course, no man would ever not want to have sex! /sacarsm

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