I am a person who has many (recurring and new) very intense sexual fantasies and I always feel so guilty about them. A tape plays in my head over and over again that it's a sin and if something bad happens to me, that means I am being punished.
I have read "My Secret Garden", which brings me back to reality, talking about many kinds of sexual fantasies that *women* have.
And they live "normal" lives, many of them even believe in a God.
I am more in touch now with trauma memories from my earliest childhood existance, where I was severely punished for touching myself or for even feeling some kind of physical pleasure.
"That's not nice, Jencarlene!" (punctuated by hitting) "Shame on you!"
I grew up so scared of my body and sensations.
Scared of being female, too. I remember wanting to be a boy!
Even more scared of people.
So I have these fantasies and feel extreme anxiety afterward.
Oh yeah, we have fantasies. I was making a list of them all the other day. They also make their way into books and short stories. In fact I probably have more than my husband, who is really vague about his.
"Don't you think about hot chicks at work? Or [my friend]?"
"Well it's not gonna happen, so why think about it?"...that's the whole point! In fantasy you can do whatever you want!
Who wants to fantasize about sitting at home alone on a weekend watching re-runs of TV shows they dont even like and eating TV dinners? Whooo-hoo, sounds HOT!
Permalink Reply by John on August 24, 2010 at 3:00pm
There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with having sexual fantasies! The fact that you were punished for "pleasuring yourself" is just evidence of how ANTI-SEX religion is! Fantasize, and as long as they do NOT involve non-consenting adults, or kids, or animals, CARRY ONE OUT! ;)
Permalink Reply by Jezzy on September 14, 2010 at 4:50pm
Women are just as horny as men just most of us won't show it and it's more unacceptable in our uptight culture. I mean how many derogatory words do they have for women compared to men-especially when it comes to sex? It's such a double-standard. Everyone knows it but nobody does anything about it.
Yeah, a woman who gets a lot of action is a "slut," but a man in the same position is a "stud." I think the easiest thing would be to take back the word "slut" as a pejorative term and make into a compliment, or at least a neutral descriptor. In other words, if people cease to be offended by the term, it will cease to be considered offensive.