I want to get out of here to a more free country

and apply for refugee :(

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I hope you will get help from someone.Don't worry.

I hate to ask this question. but, are you male or female?

Female.

If i were male it would have been easier to get out of this hell

That's why I asked actually. How old are you? do you the opportunity to obtain a study scholarship abroad?

I had a scholarship to study abroad but I couldn't go out abroad without a Mahram

I have No mahram willing to help

I'm sorry to hear that. It can't be easy. luckily we have internet now which connects us to the world and we can have a taste of what the world is about. If I were you I would entertain that and keep my goal in mind for the future- to live in another country.

you'd be surprised what is possible. I had a couple of friends who lived  alone in Saudi despite having strict families. circumstances will sometimes generate more circumstances that were previously seen as impossible.

I sometimes feel this way but I'm not optimistic 

Another friend of mine  has set up a deal with a Saudi man, they are to get married which will enable him to get the US citizenship and he in return will sign all the papers for her.  She has issues with her family.

Other friends whom are homosexual are contemplating agreed marriages to shut up family. Gay guy marries lesbian and everyone is happy. Ideally, you'd be free to live your own life, but under such stressful situations, I understand these measures and prefer it  over genuinely conforming to expectations set by local peers.

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