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Recovering from Religion


Recovering from Religion

Unless you were raised by atheist parents, you probably had some recovering to do when you left religion. The purpose of RR is to provide a landing place for people when they jump from religion. With local support groups throughout the US, Canada, UK, and Australia, and real-time resources accessible to everyone, RR is where to turn when faith has lost its luster.

Location: International
Members: 547
Latest Activity: Nov 21, 2014

Discussion Forum

In what way are you still recovering from being brought up religious?

Started by Steph S.. Last reply by Richard C Brown Aug 30, 2014. 57 Replies

I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?Any thoughts are welcome.Continue

Catholic Family / Atheist Wedding - HELP

Started by Megan. Last reply by tom sarbeck May 31, 2014. 4 Replies

Any one else out there still recovering from Catholic guilt??I come from an extremely Catholic family/upbringing. In 6 days I will be the first person in my entire extended family not to marry a Catholic in a Catholic Church.My biggest source of…Continue

Anyone still deal with anything like this?

Started by Starland Seay. Last reply by Matt Skaggs Aug 26, 2013. 27 Replies

One thing I have noticed is a tendency to "doubt" my new path in life. I still want to reach for the Bible sometimes. I still hesitate somewhat when someone mentions Pascal's "Wager"...LOL! Even though I know that science teaches this and that no…Continue

"Thief in the Night"

Started by cbenhamcox. Last reply by Luara Aug 18, 2013. 2 Replies

Last night I was reading Seth Andrew's book, Deconverted, and I almost fell out of my chair when he discussed being forced to watch the end times film from the 1970's call "A Thief in the Night."  He described some of the scenes, and I had a…Continue

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Comment by Darrel Ray on May 21, 2012 at 8:38pm

Announcing: Today we are live on the Secular Therapist Project. You can now register as a client and search for a therapist in your community. If you don't find one, you can still find many that will do distance counseling on the phone or by skype. Please check it out and tell your friends. It you are looking for secular mental health services, this is the place to look. If you are a secular therapist, please register with us.

Click here:

Find A Secular Therapist

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 21, 2012 at 3:58pm

As a former Sunday school teacher and bible study group leader a time came when I put my three kids in the car with their pillows and blankets, two cats and two litters of kittens, and a crock pot and swore "God damn you god, god damn you jesus, I worked hard for you and you had me bound to your silly nonsense for your own reasons, not for my children's or my good" all the way from Texas to Washington state. It took me a whole day to get out of Texas and a car break down in some forsaken place, and we made it. I think I even might have said a "fuck you". No, that didn't come until a couple of years later. 

Comment by Richard Goscicki on May 21, 2012 at 2:31pm

A lot of people don’t realize the power and control religion has over the mind.  As Salmon Rushdie says in The Satanic Verses, persons badly infested by religion have every aspect of their lives dominated and scrutinized by religious beliefs.  Idiology controls how they think, what they eat, how they have sex, what they wear, whom they affiliate with, the very words that come out of their mouth. 


So being liberated from religion is much like getting out of prison.  Much of behavior we take for granted has to be relearned.


Comment by L.Hunter on May 21, 2012 at 1:05pm

@ Providence. I Haven't chimed in for some time. However I too agree with the previous posts by everyone, esp Joan Denoo. I remember coming out and thinking I was like a toddler again. I had to retrain myself on how to think about life, diverse coping skills, what I thought about death, homosexuality and a host of other things. Religion is a mentally safe place for many people. When we get stressed or venture to unfamiliar territory it's our instinct to pray or perform some religious rite. I remember when I stopped believing after I read Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason", I wanted to bow my head and thank god he didn't exist. How silly is that? Anyway its only been a year. It will take time to unlearn all the BS religion has taught. In the meantime enjoy the ride and everyday will get better and brighter

Comment by Dan DeMura on May 21, 2012 at 12:14pm

I am excited to announce we're starting up a group in Columbus Ohio for those in the area... and or know people in the area. Facebook page is here  I will be putting up a meetup page very shortly.

Comment by Dan DeMura on May 21, 2012 at 12:12pm

@providence... I would agree with other comments here that it's a natural reaction to turn to the familiar comfort that you can find in religion, especially in times of stress. I would suggest taking a broader view of spirituality as Sam Harris has pointed out (even from an atheistic view) just because we deny the existence of the supernatural doesn't mean we can't experience in some sense spirituality. I personally feel a greater awe and wonder for the Universe and love for my fellow man than I ever did as a believer... perhaps take a look at other cultures and belief systems not to convert to them but to gain a better understanding of humanity as a whole. Joseph Campbell is an awesome speaker on the power of myth and anthropology. I would suggest you look up 'The Hero's Journey' that way when you're stressed you may "feel" things but you know they are simply part of the process of being human and the "myth" of Christianity was what at one time brought you comfort but doesn't mean it's true and as time passes it doesn't mean it will always be the only thing that brings you comfort because again the universe is an amazing thing.

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 21, 2012 at 3:21am

@Providence, there is a principle in child rearing some call the "dock" theory. As children mature, they ventures farther and farther away from the security and safety of mom and dad, metaphorically the dock. A toddler will toddle away from them, get anxious because of being in unfamiliar territory, and scamper back to the safe place. As confidence grows and they get older, distance away becomes greater, and they even go into another room. Unfamiliarity produces anxiety and they run back. As adolescence approaches, they joins peer groups and experiment with other things, read forbidden books, wear inappropriate clothes, putt on make-up, smoke ... stuff like that. Something happens to cause fear and anxiety and they run back into the safe zone.
Reaching toward maturity, they may drive too fast, or do things that are not allowed by parents and they become insecure and run back to the safety of the parent/dock. Because of their age, size, and immaturity, they take even greater risks, get anxious and run home to parent/dock and sometimes overwhelm parent and the dock shakes, producing more anxiety. Driving and sex turn even the most sensible parents into quivering jello. 
This process of adventuring away from parent/dock and running back for safety is a "swinging door" that continues until a child develops independent, self-sufficient, mature, adult feelings, attitudes and behaviors. This learning process occurs when people move away from traditions of family and community and begin to think critically for themselves. This is called "growing up". 
Your insecurity is normal, a good thing, not to be feared or fought against, but is evidence you need to develop skills that build self-esteem and confidence.  That is done by listening to your own body and thoughts, taking with people you trust and who have your interest in mind. 
Some individuals have a harder time making these transitions than others, but trust the process, it will get you through to the last stage, if you are lucky, which is the generative stage ... people such as myself, 76 years old and very happily going into the dottering age of growing dependence on my children. 

Comment by Alice on May 21, 2012 at 2:35am

@providence - it's all about habits.  I would suggest that you speak with like minded people - start a discussion about this - and then go through all your fears - and get everyone's perspective - and keep doing this - talking - until your perspective shifts and you develop different ways of viewing the world.  It's about challenging your beliefs with the support of others who also care about your well-being.  You might want to also spend some time reading some books about this stuff - so books by Harris, Dawkins, Hawking, Hitchens, Dennett - or websites such as - to give you some insights and different perspectives. :)

Comment by Tanya Higgins on May 20, 2012 at 8:08pm
@Providence Chances are good that you run back to religion when you're stressed simply because you haven't yet acquired healthy coping mechanisms. Asserting God as the only means for followers to dimish anxiety is one very powerful way that religion keeps people trapped. If you put leg braces on healthy children, the child that removes the braces as an adult will have difficulty standing simply because they never developed the muscles to do so.

Oddly enough, information available to those recovering from addiction is a good place to find help developing healthy coping mechanisms, but please keep in mind that you may also need counseling until you're able to put those mechanisms into practice.
Comment by James M. Martin on May 20, 2012 at 5:26pm

@Viking, your comment reminds me of the surreal scene in Henry Miller's novel, Tropic of Cancer, in which he depicts high ranking clerics at a banquet.  The elegant waiter brings in a steaming silver platter and places it before the clerics, lifting the lid with great flourish, and smiling as the cardinals and archbishops look down to see the evening entre: a big pile of steaming turds.


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