Recovering from Religion


Recovering from Religion

Unless you were raised by atheist parents, you probably had some recovering to do when you left religion. The purpose of RR is to provide a landing place for people when they jump from religion. With local support groups throughout the US, Canada, UK, and Australia, and real-time resources accessible to everyone, RR is where to turn when faith has lost its luster.

Location: International
Members: 548
Latest Activity: Sep 24

Discussion Forum

In what way are you still recovering from being brought up religious?

Started by Steph S.. Last reply by Richard C Brown Aug 30. 57 Replies

I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?Any thoughts are welcome.Continue

Catholic Family / Atheist Wedding - HELP

Started by Megan. Last reply by Tom Sarbeck May 31. 4 Replies

Any one else out there still recovering from Catholic guilt??I come from an extremely Catholic family/upbringing. In 6 days I will be the first person in my entire extended family not to marry a Catholic in a Catholic Church.My biggest source of…Continue

Anyone still deal with anything like this?

Started by Starland Victor Seay. Last reply by Matt Skaggs Aug 26, 2013. 27 Replies

One thing I have noticed is a tendency to "doubt" my new path in life. I still want to reach for the Bible sometimes. I still hesitate somewhat when someone mentions Pascal's "Wager"...LOL! Even though I know that science teaches this and that no…Continue

"Thief in the Night"

Started by cbenhamcox. Last reply by Luara Aug 18, 2013. 2 Replies

Last night I was reading Seth Andrew's book, Deconverted, and I almost fell out of my chair when he discussed being forced to watch the end times film from the 1970's call "A Thief in the Night."  He described some of the scenes, and I had a…Continue

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Comment by James M. Martin on February 25, 2013 at 7:50am

As an attorney I have represented both abused and abusers and I can tell you that some women almost seem masochists in their readiness to sign non-prosecution affidavits putting an end to criminal prosecutions, and the cases are dismissed.  I am not sure about the professions Joan lists, or the order they are listed.  When I see them, these are working people and even, in one instance a man in his late 70s accused of beating up his younger wife, who applied for a protective order, using the time with him away to move most of the valuables in the house, taking up with one of her married daughters.  The most extreme case was a divorced couple who "reconciled" long enough to get drunk, to the effect that he claimed she came after him with a butcher knife and to protect himself, he reached under the sofa and produced a .45 and shot her in the head.

Comment by Meddlesome on February 25, 2013 at 3:03am

@Joan Denoo, Do you have a published paper or Phd Thesis ? or other research material about the abuse?. If you were to post it here it would certainly be useful reference material for many on this site.

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 24, 2013 at 11:33pm

James M. Martin, moral inconsistencies and delusions serve no one. Ignorance yields one no freedom. The numbers of people joining AN grows and that gives me hope. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 24, 2013 at 11:30pm

Richard Goscicki, I know that one is not supposed to talk about religion and politics in polite society; however, in most things human, silence solves nothing. We need to grasp problems by the throat and gnaw on them to the bone and identify causes of conflicts, set some goals, make some decisions, and take some action. I know of no other way to change injustice, ignorance, domination, and criminal assaults. 

The strange thing is, by refusing to be silent, submissive, subordinate and dependent, by seeking possible better ways to live, and by taking positive action, even in the face of criticism and ridicule, I am now very happy. I have no fears, people don't impose on me, and I can love profoundly and play energetically. 

Days grow longer, we still have snow that doesn't melt in the day, and the temperatures are cold with wind. My little seedlings turn to the sun in anticipation of going into the garden after June 1. This winter has been strange, with some warm periods ... I hope there is no late frost ... oh well, I won't plant everything outside at once. Life is good. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 24, 2013 at 11:18pm

James M. Martin, you wrote, "they don't need wife beatings in Christianity: all women are relegated to the status of Stepford Wives, and they are brainwashed into enjoying it."

As a granddaughter, daughter and myself being battered by our husbands, I found the church was the worst place to go for relief. I think you have read my "Passive Gospel" story in which all three of us were told to be passive, dependent, subordinate and rejoice in our experience because we lived our lives in imitation of the crucified christ.

During my research at the doctoral level, I did a study on occupations of abusers. I gathered data from hospitals, emergency rooms, police records, interviews of medical and legal professionals as well as literature reviews. I found for every 100,000 population the incident rate of abusers by occupation. The five highest occupations correlated with abuse were:

1. ministers

2. doctors

3. lawyers

4. police officers

5. truck drivers

The lowest incident rate was symphony orchestra conductors.  It seems they value building cooperation in their personal and professional lives.

Those with high incident rates value control, make reference to higher authority, and being able and willing to use instrumental behavior (the ends justify the means) to gain control.  

Keep in mind, correlation does not mean cause; this was a preliminary study to identify where my study would focus. 

After I escaped, which both Mom and Grandma resisted, and after I completed my formal training, I became a colleges teacher and a counselor. My private clients were mostly wives of ministers, doctors, lawyers, of a judge, and of policemen. 

Comment by Richard Goscicki on February 24, 2013 at 2:50pm

Joan, what an amazing coincidence.  I’m writing a play about pot where I made the same point about small talk.  It’s as if people have been conditioned not to wonder about existence and they have to pass time by talking about the weather, shopping and celebrities.


Carl Sagan blames the phenomenon on St. Augustine of Hippo.  People ‘til this day are reluctant to talk about religion and/or politics.  It’s a tribute to the power and influence of the churches. 



Comment by Joan Denoo on February 24, 2013 at 2:29pm
We have a lovely cafe in Spokane serving delicious food in a French setting, all freshly prepared and locally grown, if possible. I often go there for lunch on my way to the grocery store (never go grocery shopping when hungry). Many wealthy/idle women lunch there and some have very, very loud voices. One day two women talked about many trivial things. When leaving, I walked over to their table, sat down and spoke very quietly, wanting to cause them to pay attention to my words. I told them their conversation was so boring, if I had been with them, I would go home and commit suicide. I quietly left them, went shopping for the most delicious food I could remember having eaten there, and that evening prepared a gourmet meal. I learn a lot about cooking at that restaurant.
Comment by Patricia on February 24, 2013 at 1:39pm

How can a person not be bigoted when we keep hearing/seeing crap like this? I don't hold much hope for humanity when these people insist on not being human.....& believe me.....I'm not comparing them to animals, because animals don't behave that way!!!

Comment by James M. Martin on February 24, 2013 at 8:46am

Joan, they don't need wife beatings in Christianity: all women are relegated to the status of Stepford Wives, and they are brainwashed into enjoying it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 23, 2013 at 1:43pm
Islam: How to beat your wife.
Thanks Critical Thinker.

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