Recovering from Religion


Recovering from Religion

Unless you were raised by atheist parents, you probably had some recovering to do when you left religion. The purpose of RR is to provide a landing place for people when they jump from religion. With local support groups throughout the US, Canada, UK, and Australia, and real-time resources accessible to everyone, RR is where to turn when faith has lost its luster.

Location: International
Members: 548
Latest Activity: Sep 13

Discussion Forum

In what way are you still recovering from being brought up religious?

Started by Steph S.. Last reply by Richard C Brown Aug 30. 57 Replies

I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?Any thoughts are welcome.Continue

Catholic Family / Atheist Wedding - HELP

Started by Megan. Last reply by Tom Sarbeck May 31. 4 Replies

Any one else out there still recovering from Catholic guilt??I come from an extremely Catholic family/upbringing. In 6 days I will be the first person in my entire extended family not to marry a Catholic in a Catholic Church.My biggest source of…Continue

Anyone still deal with anything like this?

Started by Starland Victor Seay. Last reply by Matt Skaggs Aug 26, 2013. 27 Replies

One thing I have noticed is a tendency to "doubt" my new path in life. I still want to reach for the Bible sometimes. I still hesitate somewhat when someone mentions Pascal's "Wager"...LOL! Even though I know that science teaches this and that no…Continue

"Thief in the Night"

Started by cbenhamcox. Last reply by Luara Aug 18, 2013. 2 Replies

Last night I was reading Seth Andrew's book, Deconverted, and I almost fell out of my chair when he discussed being forced to watch the end times film from the 1970's call "A Thief in the Night."  He described some of the scenes, and I had a…Continue

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Comment by James M. Martin on August 10, 2013 at 12:30am

The best place and time is winter in rural Arizona or New Mexico. The skies are just unbelievable.  I once drove a couple of times a year from L.A. to Corpus Christi and always stopped if only to pee along the roads in those states and in winter, especially, the skies are just alive.  Crowley experienced his "Star Sponge" vision on a lake in New Jersey and described it as "Nothingness...with twinkles."  I think it is the same sky Meursault gazed up at and surrendered to when he described it from his prison cell as "the benign indifference of the universe." 

Comment by Richard Goscicki on August 10, 2013 at 12:11am

Excellent posts Joan and James.  I would contribute by saying to Lilly, go out in deep, dark night to where you can get a clear view of the cosmos.  I don’t know where you live but I live on the Gulf Coast and Siesta Beach at night is something wondrous to behold.  Most people in the world can’t even see the cosmos at all. They've been robbed, anesthetized, obtunded by modern technology.  The stars have been taken from us.    

When you get a chance, stare and concentrate on the heavens and ask yourself:  What purpose can it all have?   

It just is.  Fuck purpose.  Enjoy it.


Comment by Joan Denoo on August 9, 2013 at 8:15pm
I don't think we are given a purpose by some supernatural being. Whatever purpose we find in life comes from within. Just think of the sensory organs you have, sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, emotions. These each offer opportunities to define your purpose. Others can't do it for you; purpose comes from within and it is your job to bring it to life. Our job is to observe you as you give expression to those thoughts, feeling, emotions in ways that work for you. Your mind, body and emotions exist as your personal sets of tools and only you can develop them.
Comment by James M. Martin on August 9, 2013 at 6:55pm

Lillie, it is not necessary to think the world has no purpose to be atheist.  I find plenty of purpose.  Your work is your purpose.  Helping others is purpose.  Experiencing joy in nature just as it is, at the wonders of science, all are purpose.  I dislike it when believers claim that because we are atheists we are necessarily nihilists.  Nihilism posits purposelessness.  If you stop to think about it, you probably will realize that you have purpose.  Being alive is its own purpose.

Comment by Lillie on August 9, 2013 at 10:41am

I keep thinking I am making good progress in recovering from religion and then I have a little setback.  I recently had lunch with two childhood friends with whom I maintain a very close relationship.  I had not shared my atheism with them in the past and I am sure they considered me to be a very strong believer.  I had no intention of sharing my atheism with them on this recent occasion but it came up unexpectedly. Somehow the topic of conversation turned to the world having purpose at which I replied there is no purpose in the world.  This conversation revealed I am an atheist and they were shocked.  Of course, they immediately tried to convince me otherwise but I was able to easily trump them on this.

Now, here is the setback.  I feel guilty.  One of my friends has tried almost every religion known to man so I am not concerned for her emotional well being.  However, I consider the second one to be very emotionally fragile and to need the comfort of religion for her emotional well being.  I really would never have brought up the topic of religion around her and now feel badly that the topic came up.

Comment by Richard C Brown on May 31, 2013 at 5:38am

At 72 I realize the reason for being taught not to discuss religion and politics.A pentecostal grandmother that could whip up a case of domestic violence .

Comment by Katie Graham on May 7, 2013 at 4:36pm
Comment by Joan Denoo on February 25, 2013 at 12:39pm

James, having worked my entire professional life with treatment of abusers and abused, I have experienced the same things as you. Women are also abusers, and when they are serious they use guns and knives; an assault by a women often is more fatal that the bruises inflected by strong armed, controlling men. It doesn't matter whether it is man or woman or child who resorts to violence, it is usually their first choice of response. Training in problem solving and conflict resolution develops skills that come in handy at work as wel as at home. 

I was known as the divorce counselor, not the marriage counselor, because once violence between two individual occurs over time, repeatedly, it is hard to extinguish the furry that flashes between them. It is easier to isolate and insulate each one from the other and build healthy relationships. Healthy relationships grow with knowledge and awareness of their history and their preferred futures. 

Remember your history + remember your preferred future = better, healthier relationships in the here and now. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 25, 2013 at 12:32pm

Meddlesome, No, I don't have a published paper and when I go back and read my dissertation, it is so poorly written I don't want it out in the public domain. In fact, my dissertation "A Splendid Heresy," was denied with the claim that I was biased in my research. Which, in fact, I was. I wrote about the role of religion in maintaining and perpetuating domestic violence. 

My master's thesis: "Toward a theory of domestic violence, its antecedents  treatment and prevention" is no long available in master's indexes. It, too, was poorly written, and I work on both ideas developing better documentation and rationale. 

I have been writing on Atheist Nexus and Facebook different aspects that I covered in my research. With some very kind and wise advisors on these sites, my writing is getting better, the research better cited, and challenges to my conclusions causing me to rethink; sometimes I change my position and sometimes reaffirm what I have previously written. 

Thank you for your comment. 

Comment by James M. Martin on February 25, 2013 at 7:50am

As an attorney I have represented both abused and abusers and I can tell you that some women almost seem masochists in their readiness to sign non-prosecution affidavits putting an end to criminal prosecutions, and the cases are dismissed.  I am not sure about the professions Joan lists, or the order they are listed.  When I see them, these are working people and even, in one instance a man in his late 70s accused of beating up his younger wife, who applied for a protective order, using the time with him away to move most of the valuables in the house, taking up with one of her married daughters.  The most extreme case was a divorced couple who "reconciled" long enough to get drunk, to the effect that he claimed she came after him with a butcher knife and to protect himself, he reached under the sofa and produced a .45 and shot her in the head.


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