Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Debbie Morris on August 23, 2010 at 11:41am

I think the best course of action would be to teach your children about critical thinking. People think thats its parenting style that influences children when it's often your children that influence your parenting style. My parents were quite religious until my brothers and I decided it was a load of crap and said as much giving them our reasons. I think mothers are more inclined to listen to their children than their spouses when it comes to these things. I teach my nieces about the formation of rocks and volcanoes and the evolution of the earth and the solar system and I tell them that it is fact in the same way that we know 2 +2 = 4 is fact...because we have evidence. They're really young but they get it. my brother. their father is very religious. I'm their godmother so it's my job to give them "spiritual guidance" I think if the language of science is spoken in your home then your wife will have to use it to communicate properly with her family. teach your kids about civil rights and prop 8. and what happened there and how no one has the right to dictate what you do in your private life. The live and let live way of looking at things appeals to a childs natural understanding and is something that is easy to accept before it has been taught out of them. You're not directly attacking your wife's religion or undoing her teaching in a direct sense...you are merely educating your children on things that are on their school curriculum...

Permalink Reply by Richard Wilson on August 23, 2010 at 2:54pm

I suggest getting her, if possible, to look at any of the many Youtube videos with Christopher Hitchens. This guy never fails to gut these religious types. Good Luck!

Permalink Reply by Debbie Morris on August 23, 2010 at 3:51pm

unfortunately those that are so deeply indoctrinated will just put their blinkers on. i've tried this with family members before and they just go into denial mode. snippets are the way to go.small amounts of information that are easy to digest. stuff that is taught as fact in our institutes of education. Direct attacks on religion won't work as it will just her back up and while Mr Hitchens doesn't speak anything less than a word of truth he has a reputation among fundies that will instantly make them switch off. There is a great book published in the UK called There's probably no god, the atheists guide to Christmas. It's quite light hearted, intelligent and feel good. It demonstrates that those without religion are not without goodness. it might be something worth buying and perhaps left lying around....

Permalink Reply by Debbie Morris on August 23, 2010 at 3:54pm

you could also buy a book with some cool space photograpy or a dvd box set that goes into the origins of the universe and life. A nice coffee table book....no woman can refuse a nice coffee table book...

Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on August 23, 2010 at 4:01pm

As it comes to origins of the universe, there's your key word. Go to history.com and get the Universe series. Over the past weekend, I saw a wonderful two-hour episode which went into the history of the Big Bang theory, from before Copernicus onward. I found it very understandable and downright entertaining, though I will admit to being an engineer with more than a passing knowledge of astronomy.

Permalink Reply by Linda on August 23, 2010 at 4:20pm

Fascinating stuff (Universe series on History channel).

I'm not so sure the big bang theory bothers too many Christians because there is the view that God was behind the mechanics of it. It never bothered me a bit back when I was religious.

I don't know about Southern Baptists though. What does your wife think about the big bang theory? I know this might be too personal a question for a forum and completely understand if you choose not to answer.

Permalink Reply by brian on August 24, 2010 at 12:51pm

She bassicaly belives it is a bunch of crap. God did it in 6 days and that's that. Bullshit is what it really is.

Permalink Reply by brian on August 24, 2010 at 12:49pm

I record lots of documentaries on the DVR on Natgeo and stuff. She will not watch any of them as they do not agree with her views. They are all wrong according to her. The kids however watch them.
We also have a poster in a frame of the Hubble Deep Field View. Awsome picture. I printed out some facts about it and they are on the bottom of it. So the get definitly get their Science out of me. and they are interested in it. But Boy do they get the slam dunking of religion from her. Wish I could just gag her.

Permalink Reply by brian on August 24, 2010 at 12:53pm

So I guess in all honestly I'm doing bassicaly everything that has been suggested here and in the past to me.
I'm getting the complete shits of her religion and it will ultimatly lead to our divorce. if it was not for the kids it would have happened already.

Permalink Reply by Debbie Morris on August 24, 2010 at 3:35pm

I'm very sorry to hear that. Marraige councilling may help as you can voice your problems in a non-judgemental environment as well as having someone with an objective opinion talk to your wife. Perhaps she has forgotten that your marraige is about compromise and give and take and that your beliefs are as important as hers. It sounds more like a respect problem than a religious problem. If you tackle it from that perspective she may be a little bit more reasonable. try to have a frank and honest discussion with her without using blame words. instead of saying " you always do this and you never do that and you make me feel this say when you ..... I feel like you don't respect me....or I feel like I'm not important to you, or I feel like I have no input in our childrens lives....and then ask her how she feels about what you just said. Communication is the key.

Permalink Reply by brian on August 25, 2010 at 1:02pm

TO funny. Actually I was a religious basket case too when we got married. I'm the one that made the 180 degree change.
So I have been told it is all my fault that this has happened.
The only compromise that she has told me she is willing to make is to accept I'm an Atheist, but no others.
We've talked about marriage counselors before and she would want to go to a Jesus counselor, and I'm not to open to that. but would be willing to. I would love to go and have them tell her in their nicest way that she needs to come back to reality.
But in all honestly I don't think any of it will help.
I do also hope and look forward to the day our kids tell her her religion is BS.
I know I sound harsh here but it is how I feel. I don't want it to sound like I don't want this to work. as I do, but I do not see it happening.

Permalink Reply by Debbie Morris on August 25, 2010 at 1:11pm

hey I hear ya and I don't think it sounds harsh. Accepting that you are an Atheist is not a compromise. She gets no say in what you believe, but you both get a say in how your kids are raised. if the softly softly nicey nicey approach isn't working then how about an all out row! Sometimes it can take people not talking to each other to get them to think about what it is exactly they were arguing about. I don't know about men but women play those sort of arguments over and over and over again in their heads. Mention you've thought about divorce and then suggest a non religous marraige concillor again. If she is still unwilling to "tone down the jesus crazies" then I really don't know what else to suggest. Sounds like a very unpleasent situation and you have my sympathy.

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