if you look at the two threads I started here (I'm really tired and don't want to link, just search my name.. I'm a newb. One is in the newb forum and the other in the Coming Out forum) I've been religious all my life. I'm just starting to accept that I am now atheist and trying to rid myself of my religious past. I was so die-hard that at one point my mindset was "Even if Jesus is not the savior, I will go to Hell just to be with Him". That's a pretty strong statement, and I meant every word of it. To go from that to now not believing is taking me a while, but I know now that there is no god and that there is no hell for me to go to. This makes me feel better, because my father killed himself when I was 13 and I was told that he would have to be in Hell because of it. I tried to use other Bible verses to try and make myself believe that he wasn't (I"m not going to go into them here, it doesn't matter anymore because the bible isn't real) and now I know he's not going to be suffering for eternity for trying to escape his blinding pain. I can find peace that he is not suffering anymore, not here in life or in the afterlife if there is one.
I'm rambling a bit.. I tend to do that . Anyways, I'm trying to recover... I'm just beginning my journey.