Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kit Ann Kaboodle on November 7, 2009 at 11:19pm

I also don't like to act like polyamory is superior to monogamy (although the idea of "emotional infidelity" does rather make me puke).

Oh, hurrah! I really love it when someone who has just discovered the idea of ethical non-monogamy tosses out statements like "I've been poly all my life!". As if they were toddling around thinking of their perfect triad when they were in footy pajamas. Or, that whole poly evangelist thing... I find it tiresome.

I agree with you... there are plusses and minuses to all sorts of relationships.

Permalink Reply by Kylyssa Shay on July 6, 2010 at 12:48pm

I generally say that I've been poly all my adult life. My experience with polyamory started when I was 15 when my girlfriend had a boyfriend. Every relationship I've had since has either begun or become poly. I didn't know the word polyamory until I was in my thirties.

I fantasized about my mom and dad getting a wife so my mom wouldn't be so lonely when my dad was away in the army. I also thought that if one mommy was good, two would be even better. The idea of having both a husband and a wife sounded great to me before I ever even thought about sex. I had romantic crushes on couples starting in late grade school, particularly my science teacher and her husband.

I think that people mean they've been poly for the entire time in their lives when they've thought about romantic relationships when they say they've been poly all their lives.

Permalink Reply by Arizona Gunrunner on November 7, 2009 at 6:31pm

I didn't listen to the Minx but I have run into this attitude before. The rationalizing of an activity and trying to fit it into an unrational belief or world view. What you have is someone trying to understand themselves inside the trappings of religion. I think for most people the idea of no god or religion is so far beyond what they can understand so they try to find justification in what they do from god or inside their belief.

Personally I think they have no integrity. If you believe something, live it. If you don't believe it, find out what you believe and do that. I don't think they are being honest with themselves and are not willing to look inside and be honest with what they see and feel.

Permalink Reply by Kit Ann Kaboodle on November 7, 2009 at 11:16pm

No, I did not hear that. Sounds like a good topic all on its own.

Permalink Reply by Pockets on July 15, 2010 at 2:20pm

I love polyweekly, and Minx is a sweetheart, for someone like my self who is addicted to podcasts it is an invaluable source of information. she has had some fantastic guests who talk about religion in poly. There seems to be a lot of...if not organized religion then perhaps spiritualism within poly that for me can be off putting. One of her reoccurring guest and occasional co host is Joreth (http://www.theinnbetween.net/) she is an atheist as well as poly, and has a great perspective on the community and the mono/poly debate.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on July 15, 2010 at 10:36am

For me, the honesty aspect is important.

Me too. You hear this sung as a litany in poly circles, but I have run into many self-described poly people who are not. Caveat emptor.

Even that douchebag who wrote "men are from mars, women are from venus" knows that communication in a relationship is very important.

Ha! You mean "Men Have Mars Bars, Women Don't Have Penises?" I hate that book.

You really have to face your needs and desires and make them work with your partners.

Ideally, yes.

Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on April 2, 2011 at 12:14pm

Ditto to what Rayven Alandria and Stephen Moore said. :)

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