The World’s Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

How the Ayn Rand-Loving Right Is Like a Bunch of Teen Boys Gone Crazy

Do "you know what I want for Mother's Day? I want these so-called "self-made men" to grow up and get a life."

"right-wing men are so obsessed with the external trappings of maleness precisely because they've failed to develop the inner qualities and accept the obligations that are required of actual adult men. It's all show, with nothing solid on the inside to back it up. And the more fragile their masculinity feels to them, the more exaggerated the outer display they put on is."

~ Stephen Ducat, Psychiatrist, The Wimp Factor.

Adult "men understand and accept that they have an obligation to the greater good, and are willing to unflinchingly step up to that responsibility. They commit to their families. They work to improve their homes and communities, so they're safe and nurturing places for everyone to be. They take the long view as they plan for their kids' future. They look out for people around them who are weaker than they are. And they respect and cherish the co-parents of their children as their equal partners in that effort.

"Adult men do not resent being asked to contribute to the collective whole. They know that their actions have consequences, and that they are responsible for the impact of those consequences on the greater good of the community.

"As a veteran mom, I understand that it's totally developmentally appropriate for a teenage boy to desperately struggle to separate from his female parent as he begins to find his way toward his adult male identity. But at some point, that oppositional process is supposed to come to an end -- usually in the early- to mid-20s, with a reconciliation and renewed acceptance of Mom as a useful guide in his life. And, if he's straight, there will be a mature acceptance of his obligations to a female partner and their children as well.

"A 50-year-old CEO who's still whining because Big Bad Government is asking him to clean up his shit, look after his little brother, and not act like a psychopath in public is flat-out suffering from arrested emotional and social development. He's not a grown man, despite his thousands of employees and millions in salary. He's still that teenager, hating on Mom because she dared to remind him that he's still deeply dependent on the resources of provided by his larger family. And as a mother, I'd invite other moms to join me in calling out this immaturity for what it is, wherever we see it.

"What I really want for Mother's Day is for America's Lost Boys -- the libertarian Peter Pans, the free-market feral children, the neo-liberal ramblin' men -- to stop pretending that they're something special and uniquely free because they've managed to disassociate themselves from women's care and women's concerns.

"I want respect for the role mothers play -- both in our personal families, and in our national one. I want some recognition of the fact that the issues that are typically dismissed by the masculine fetishists as "women's issues" or "nanny-state meddling" are, in fact, the issues that the future of our country most depends on. And I want the common wealth and the common good -- the health and wealth of our national family -- to get the same kind of loving respect that all mothers are entitled to.

"Flowers and chocolate and a nice brunch are appreciated, too. But they're a meaningless insult -- a sop to authority we don't have, and aren't seen as entitled to -- long as we let the 16-year-olds run the household the other 364 days out of the year."

~ Sara Robinson

If reasoning doesn't work, or negotiating, or compromising achieves nothing then there are some things we mothers can do. We can say "STOP!" Juvenile behavior is not good for mothers and does no good for juvenile youngsters or grown ups, and the nation suffers under their foolish hubris.

Another thing mother can do is to STOP providing whatever it is they want ... sex, food, children, a safe, secure, stable home, good companionship, efficient and effective home management. Just stop. Just see how long it takes to get their attention.

The problem is, there are lots of women out there who are willing to acquiesce to juveniles behaviors, boys and adult men. So kick them out or leave and create the kind of life you want for yourself. There is nothing in nature that says we must obey or yield or submit. It is up to each one of us to participate in creating a healthy, positive life, family and nation.

So, we may have to give up something to gain something. Peace, caring and compassionate community and a nation out of killing and destroying with bombs and bullets and instead investing in our nation and protecting our planet is worth give up juvenile behaviors. We all lose of we do not take a stand.

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by annet on May 13, 2012 at 2:31pm

  You poor persecuted darling. Go dial 1-976-WAAAAAH.
 

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Happy mom's day Joan and all you moms and people with moms.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 13, 2012 at 4:48pm

Thank you Annet for your comment. It is not at all unusual for me to read such responses and you may be correct in your assessment. However, when I look around me and see what is to be seen, and hear the voices of people in pain, I feel a deep commitment to end delusional blaming. Laugh if you will; it doesn't impress me as being very useful.

Permalink Reply by annet on May 13, 2012 at 8:15pm

I'm sorry Joan, I did not mean to diminish the seriousness of the subject. I thought she was trying to use humor in her approach. It helps swallow the bitter pills of reality. Of course we must battle on against that immature behavior.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 14, 2012 at 3:34am

Gee, I didn't read humor. I read clear descriptions of what a class of people do that offends any decent, mentally healthy, mature, adult.

~ Sara Robinson

Seeing grown up, aging men act like adolescents is a most dreadful thing. They don't have to play dirty tricks on people

Permalink Reply by Jonathan Simeone on May 13, 2012 at 7:06pm

Joan, I really enjoyed reading that. I'm doing my best to live up to that ideal. I'm not perfect but I try. Isn't part of the problem that too many women are attracted to or otherwise wind up with that kind of man? If women stopped accepting piggish, selfish men men would change their conduct. I'm not saying that women are to blame for how badly way too many men act. I'm saying that too many men are rewarded for acting like pigs.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on May 13, 2012 at 8:07pm

Jonathan you are so wise! I agree with your statement here. Men are rewarded for behaving badly.
Mothers need to take a stand and say stop!

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 14, 2012 at 3:41am

I agree wholeheartedly. Women dance as partners to the juvenilization of boys and men. If we want boys and girls to be responsible and responsive, we have to set limits. I know I am sounding like an old grouch when I say this, but I believe we cannot afford to have any more grown up children pretending to be adults.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 14, 2012 at 3:38am

Yes, you are correct, Jonathan, you are living up to a mature, mentally healthy adult behavior of a man. The fun and childlike nature does not have to be squelched to be a compassionate participant in life.

Permalink Reply by Jonathan Simeone on May 13, 2012 at 8:22pm

Steph, It's not just mothers who need to take a stand. Too many women are attracted to disgusting men. If women stopped having sex with, dating and marrying men who act like this men would change the way they act. Certainly it starts with mothers and fathers educating their sons. But the best teacher kids have is examples. If mom and dad talk about the need to respect women but dad really doesn't respect mom and she doesn't stand up for herself all the lessons go right out the window. If a man wants his son to be a good man the best thing he can do for him is really love his son's mother.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on May 13, 2012 at 8:38pm

Yes agreed Jonathan. The article mentioned mothers and so I said mothers. But yes, women need to be more picky with the men they choose.
Yeah I guess I need to be more careful on what I say here. I do agree with you Jonathan. You are smart and perceptive indeed!

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 14, 2012 at 3:48am

That is also true. At the last stage of life I look back and see all the heartache that came into lives because of foolish decisions and being attracted to false values.

Oh, you really touched a tender spot for me when you wrote, "If a man wants his son to be a good man the best thing he can do for him is really love his son's mother." and the same applies to the mother, the best gift a mother can give her daughter is to choose a man worthy of respect and love and show respect and love for him throughout a lifetime.

RSS

Welcome to
Atheist Nexus

Sign Up
or Sign In

Or sign in with: