I shudder when I learn of camps for girls where they learn how to make themselves attractive to boys. What is the principle here? Do we intend to train them to be dependent, passive, subordinate daughters such as the Chinese women who bound the feet of their daughters, deliberately crippling them to make them attractive to future husbands? Do we want them to be vulnerable to life's twists and turns? Or do we want our daughters to stand tall, strong, competent, capable, and guided, not by their ovaries, but by their minds?
I told my daughter she was a "smoochy kid!" It worked out, I think!
I like "smoochy kids". They make life worthwhile. And when they grow up, I like them to be smart, discerning, decisive, open minded but not to the point their brains fall out, loving, compassionate, tough, strong, competent, independent, active, and able to act in their own self-interest even as they feel empathy for others ... just as I bet you want your daughter!
Laura is all these things and more. I am so proud!
Welp, I think she came out pretty well. Was working an internship her sophomore year, I think and employed part-time her junior and senior years at a local TV station, then started with them full time the day after she graduated! She's producing news now in Nashville, TN and enjoying herself enormously, the last I knew.
She always was very independent, which is a good thing ... though sometimes so much that her dad wondered sometimes how much (and IF!) she needed him. In the wake of my departure from her mother, that situation has gotten better, but I still wonder sometimes...
I know! I curse often and long about independent adult children. They have minds of their own.
You must be very proud of your daughter. Oh! Yes! She needs you and will until you are long gone and remain in her as a memory of all she learned from you. I think there is a rule of nature, kids don't appreciate Mom and Dad until they are gone. That is the only regret about not having an after-life meeting with loved ones. But, what the hay! Our moms and pops probably did the same thing.
Now that she is grown, no longer needs day to day counsel from you, you can just have a very great time enjoying her company and conversation. Short, frequent visits, either by phone or in person suit me just fine.
They make me shudder too.
Having girls as students was a real challenge for them because I wanted them to learn to think for themselves. One of the other women teachers didn't know what color, or food, or political party she preferred.
Even our college mission statement stated something about teaching sex-appropriate behaviors; that sounded weird to me. I could agree if it had said adult-appropriate behaviors.