Two of my daughters are 11. They are at an age that we feel some knowledge of sex and choices are healthy. This of course is not permission, it's simply, though sadly, a realization that the time is coming when they aren't going to want to tell us everything' including what they may be doing. We want them to get their information from people who are smarter than their peers.
I have been told, or asked more in a telling way, that since we are Atheist's and we are ok with sin do we teach them it's ok to be promiscuous? Are you serious???? Yes, I want my daughter's to make a career out of having babies with multiple people she doesn't know, forget college, figure out who will raise her remaining children because she will be to incapacitated from a horrid STD to raise them herself........OF COURSE NOT!!!
The mentality of some people astounds the unastoundable! When my husband and I (which usually means me when it's the gritty girly parts he doesn't want to be a part of) talk we always come back to abstinance. We have told them that while they technically can do what they want with their own bodies, it's not always a good decision. We focus more on the emotional repercussions that can come from making such choices. They know, at least at this age, that it's more than just 'sex' and that there can be very serious physical consequences, pregnancy, reputations, and countless other possibilities that young ladies have had from having their ear whispered in. We have talked about some birth control because one of the girl's classmate's 12 yr old sister was pregnant this last yr!!! We talked about condom's and that if they ever choose to and felt that the boy was worth the risk of everything above (we went into a lot more details) that they were the best way to prevent any STD's/pregnancies, etc.
When we discuss abstinance, we make it clear that we don't believe in the silly covenant rings, cards, etc because we feel the only person they owe to stay true is to themselves. It is also made clear that our position on abstinance has nothing to do with religion; it simply that it's the only fool proof way, and that when the time comes and they find that 'right one' it can cause unneccessary friction and troubles (jealousy and so worth). We always close with that ultimately the choice will be theirs, and as their parents we'll always be here whether they fall or soar; I put some extra effort into letting them know if they did make a decision to have sex when the time comes (obviously not now) doesn't make them bad, sinful, or otherwise, just to be smart about it, try to not judge their friends and their choices, and not make their own choices off of what their friends are doing. We tell them they have to come home, go to bed by themselves, and think about their actions, and if it's something that's going to make them cry afterwards...they probably shouldn't do it.
Has anyone here had to have the 'talk' with their kids? What did or would you say? Has anyone had unwelcome, yet still vocalized, assumptions of their parenting due to their lack of belief in the Invisi-Dad-In-The-Sky?
It's a bit irritating of the sterotypes that come along with being Atheist parents.