My wife uttered casually last week. I wanted to rejoice and celebrate her reasoning, but alas, the reason for such utterance is a sad thing for her and I would be a horrible husband if I was overjoyed by her statement.

The aforementioned expression or possible epiphany is a response to her not being able to become pregnant again, at least not for the past few years. Everywhere she goes it seems women are pregnant. Our neighbor, three of her close friends, multiple online friends, every class she attends and even some of her customers at Allstate. I know she believes that everyone is getting pregnant but her because she has such a strong desire to mother more children, but I dare not be so rash as to point out the fact that more women around her are not pregnant rather than pregnant.
We have a child of six years whom we both adore, but it was not until a year ago that I too shared her desire for further offspring. One or both of us would seem to have partially defective 'plumbing' . We have not the insurance or savings to undergo the necessary tests to determine where the problem resides. She is currently in college to become a nurse and when she finally is one, hopes to have the tests and treatments done so we can once again succeed in Darwinian evolution. Until such time I will try my best to serve her and provide support, while being content with the fact that she too sees that a loving God could not exist with all the suffering that adorns our tiny planet.

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Replies to This Discussion

Thank you for your concern.
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I can totally relate. I am pregnant now but it was after a year of trying and a miscarriage. I am, shall we say, "advanced maternal age" so I was very upset about it taking so long (even though a year may not seem so long, it felt like it to me). During that time, and especially after the miscarriage, it was very difficult for me to speak to my pregnant friends and relatives, and endure their stupid baby shower invitations. The thing that finally helped me become pregnant was actually this website, www.fertilityfriend.com It is great. It has a lot of information on it. There is an online course that teaches you about timing, temperature and all of that, that really helped. Also you can track your wife's temperature on the website which makes it much easier to pinpoint the exact day she is fertile. It's all about the timing. I think you and your wife should definitely try it.
I understand also about Sarah's frustration that it didn't seem like her husband cared if she became pregnant or not. My husband already has two children so I felt like it didn't matter as much to him as it did to me. But now that we are expecting he is just as happy and excited as I am.
I wish you and your wife success in your attempts to have another baby. I'm highly doubtful god has anything to do with it (haha) but I think it's all about the timing and the biology. There may be nothing wrong with either of you and the timing is just not right.
Thanks, Patty, for sharing your story. You did not make light of our situation at all and your empathy is welcomed greatly. It reminds me a bit about Micheal J. Fox in his book Always Looking Up as he finally admitted to himself that he had PD and he just needed to deal with it. It wasn't some calling for him to be an advocate or some bizarre punishment, it was just the facts and he needed to simply address the facts.

In regards to your story, I finalized realized something ( awhile ago but its pertinent to your story as well) For a long time I have known that a lot of people have far harder and worse lives then me. Some are born missing senses or limbs, others have mental deficiencies and others just have the unfortunate luck of being born in a shitty country. I use to console myself by saying, " They have it so much harder and do not complain, I have to enjoy what I have and use it to its fullest because they cannot."

Then recently I said to myself, " I should enjoy my life not because others cannot run or don't have electricity or a partner to rely on, but I should enjoy myself because I do.

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