I wrote The Bully Vaccine to teach kids who are being bullied the practical skills they need to get it to stop. And yes, it does work. It's based on operant conditioning. My son has learned these skills and he's only in 1st grade now.
The book works and can help, but won't do any good unless it gets into the hands of kids who need this information. I am asking this community to help me by purchasing a copy to donate to their local school or public library.
To sweeten the deal, I will donate 10 copies myself for every 100 books donated.
Plus - if you participate, you can win some prizes from me, copies of my books, programs on Humanistic parenting and more.
So please check it out - and please spread the word and encourage other people to participate as well. There are 115,000 libraries and I can't afford to print and ship these books myself as much as I would like to. Your help is appreciated.
Sounds great - I'm really curious about your method - although I just have so much on my plate at the moment and not much time to research your work. I very much like what I've seen on the website - (in a 60 second scan) - raising compassionate adults.... I like Alfie Kohn also and Unconditional Parenting and also Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
Operant Conditioning is basically consciously using feedback to condition an animal to behave the way you want. So pretty much every animal trainer in the country uses these techniques. They key is to understand reward schedules and to understand that withdrawing a reward is more powerful than punishment (something that no good trainer does btw).
Bullying is a conditioned behavior for both the bully and the victim. To get it to stop, you have to withhold the reward the bully gets for bullying all the time until the bully blows out and stops. It can take time, but once you understand the behavioral management principles it's fairly straightforward.
The reason why kids have such a hard time getting bullying to stop isn't because the advice they got was bad, it's actually quite good. The missing element is the blowout which is what an animal does when they stop getting their reward, and that's what I focus on in the book. Why the bully will blow out, what to expect and how and why it is so important to ride that out.
To do this does require the victim to detach emotionally from the negativity of the bully and the best way to do that is with compassion for yourself and for the bully. I go into that quite a bit too.