Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 10:22pm

undeserved respect. if you expect me to dance around an issue, you're not being rational. there is no way to phrase that question that you would not take offence to.

Permalink Reply by Dawn K on April 28, 2011 at 10:27pm

People are giving you honest well thought out reasons as to why your initial post was received so badly. A gracious person accepts that and moves on.

 

And please STOP telling people that they are not being rational. It's condescending and unwarranted.

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 10:44pm

this is how "rationalists" deal with facts, is it?

Permalink Reply by Dawn K on April 28, 2011 at 10:09pm

Why do rational people choose to have biological babies rather than adopt? 

 

If you are a thinking person and your only consideration is world population and resources (and all that goes along with that) then it seems not only irrational, but down right irresponsible to give birth to your own children. However, realistically it is very difficult to adopt, very costly, and very time intensive. Why do people adopt infants from overseas rather than the many children in the U.S. that would love to be adopted? Even adoption decisions can be irrational as couples prefer to have an infant over an older child. Although deserving of being adopted or being placed in a good home, older children often have issues that many would be parents are simply not equipped to deal with. Like being in love, having children is largely an emotional roller coaster. It is almost by definition illogical and irrational with occasional moments of lucidity. 

 

For me personally, I'll be honest and say adoption was never even once an option that was considered. 

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 10:26pm

i fail to see how that justifies anything. comparing it to "being in love" doesn't help anything, as i don't think that impulse shoulfd be followed unthinkingly either.

 

how is it irrational to adopt an infant? it's the obvious rational choice. overseas adoption makes perfect sense. i'm really not following you at all here.

Permalink Reply by Dawn K on April 28, 2011 at 10:35pm

I was not trying to justify anything, merely explain. You are correct, impulses should not be followed unthinkingly. But when you get down to it, many of our choices are emotional. Even the ones that we agonize over often come down to an emotional reason. 

 

Why is it rational to go to great lengths to adopt an infant overseas rather than adopt an older child in need in your own community?

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 10:46pm

because nationalism is stupid?

Permalink Reply by Dawn K on April 28, 2011 at 10:55pm

Nationalism has got nothing to do with it. 

 

I'll simplify it.

Why is it rational to want an infant over an older child? 

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 11:04pm

because the goal here is to create a generation of responsible, rational people. the habits such a person needs to learn must be learned early, from day one and consistently.

if, on the other hand, that is not a person's goal, all they'd really be interested in is skipping the diaper stage.

Permalink Reply by Beach Bum on April 28, 2011 at 11:08pm

This is actually an excellent point. If you want to raise a child in any particular way, no matter what way that is, it is imperative to begin at infancy. By the time a child is older they have already learned damaging lessons that are difficult if not impossible to unlearn. That is not at all to say that older children should not be adopted. Just a rational reason why a person might choose an infant.

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 11:23pm

ideally, i'd like to see orphanages lying abandoned and every child with someone who cares for them and helps them explore their potential to the fullest. but we're talking reality here.

 

if a person had the means to raise more than one child (something overpopulation actually prevents), then it might make sense to adopt an older child later on, once the parent has the benefit of experience, and when there are also siblings to provide support. but it's still risky. i would admire anyone who could be successful at it. but as i said, a person is ultimately responsible for their own life, even a child, and with certain habits and choices, even the best parenting can be totally futile, and with other choices, even the worst parenting can't stop them from flourishing. the point is to guide these choices by teaching critical thinking and introspection early in life, including by example. not that it will always go perfectly or that no other problems will arise, but you can only do your best

Permalink Reply by egan thomas penney on April 28, 2011 at 10:45pm

you infer those things. that's your problem.

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