Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by John Jubinsky on May 1, 2012 at 4:36pm

I have already made arrangements to have my body donated to science when I die so I don't expect to have a funeral per se. I can still think about what song I would like to celebrate my life. Ideally, it would convey a combination of courage, humility and fun. I'm not so sure a song like that has been written yet. I think I would need three different songs to convey these feelings completely.  

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on May 1, 2012 at 5:00pm

I've been an organ donor for a long time, but never thought of donating my body to science.  Sounds like a good idea.  If I die at 90, I would guess my organs wouldn't be any use for transplanting anymore, but the body could still be used as education, training & such.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 1, 2012 at 5:20pm

John, I like your plan to donate your body to science, a good use of a body. I would however, want to have a party, but not necessary at the time of my death. Living in the north and family scattered all over the place, I would want a "Remember" party sometime during the summer, with potluck, including family, neighbors, friends, and debating partners.

I have hosted several family and friends' memorial services in my back yard and it always is a real treat. I have a huge Blue Spruce in my back yard that we turned into a great place for children of family and friends to picnic. You know, in all the years they picnicked there, I have never found a plate, napkin, cup, straw, can or anything left behind. They always leave it clean, and the bird and squirrel feeders full of seeds and fruits. Celebrating death is a celebration of life. Treasure it, enjoy it, remember it, grieve departures and rejoice in living it. 

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on May 1, 2012 at 12:55pm

I agree with you about "When the Saints...".  My first thought was "Wind Beneath My Wings".  I watch the movie "Beaches" every year and love that song when Bette Midler sings it about her dying friend. 

It would apply to modest people like my father, and would be good for a beginning song, but would need to be followed with more upbeat songs.  One other problem with it, is the phrase "Thank God for you" once at the end.  That part could be changed I guess. Too bad religion has a big head-start in the music department. 

My second thought was Steve Martin's "First Hymnal for Atheists", but I don't think so.  It's amusing, but not very joyful, and too respectful of religion in my opinion.

I love science, so "The Elements" song always makes me smile.  No great message, just a fun song that might be appropriate at a science nerd's funeral.  It might even be good to say a few words about him giving his elements back to the universe, or add a verse to that effect.

I'll have to give it more thought to come up with better songs.  There must be some.

Permalink Reply by Dr. Terence Meaden on May 1, 2012 at 2:42pm

Idaho Spud: "The Elements" song could be quite appropriate for me. At one time in my early research years I was working on solid state properties of many of the uncommon elements mentioned---the rare earth metals and the actinide series including thorium, uranium, neptunium and plutonium. 

Joan: I reserved two adjacent spots in the woodland setting for my wife and myself a long time ago; and a third for our Siamese cat who is now 18. These spots centre a sunny glade in a wood in the heart of Wessex. 

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 1, 2012 at 4:50pm

What a lovely spot for a burial site of loved ones, including your cat. Perhaps a simple little bench where descendants can come, sit, remember, and read from your priceless book.  

Oh! I like that idea. 

Permalink Reply by Dr. Terence Meaden on May 1, 2012 at 5:18pm

Joan: What is more, the subsoil is chalk. This means that the bones will remain intact for tens of thousands of years, perhaps millions, perhaps become fossils! Most of my known ancestors went into christian cemeteries in Wiltshire but the land being chalk, their bones are still present . . . still present, for all time. My bones will be accompanied by a time capsule, a sealed lead casket. Who knows whether it will ever be opened? But that's not the point. The point is that I know it will be there . . . and I am content.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on May 1, 2012 at 5:08pm

Idaho Spud! I love it! I can just see the kiddos dancing around as the music plays. I can even imagine them trying to sing along. Yes, it would need a statement of returning elements to the universe!  I like that. 

Maybe start with remembering me, including my quirks, then  "May the long time sun shine upon you", reverently, of course. And then "The Elements" song with a whole lot of irreverence. 

Some older People may be more likely to believe in god; I believe in process, one is born, one lives, one dies, end of story. 

Permalink Reply by John Jubinsky on April 30, 2012 at 1:34pm

Religion and especially Christianity offers the bribe of everlasting life in exchange for particular behavior. As an atheist I reject such thought. In this, I can fully know that any good I do is for the principle of it. In that I freely choose good, fulfillment in this sense provides me a self-esteem that helps me to rise above fear of death. At the same time, knowing that I cannot be as good as is appropriate imposes on me a humbling of realizing that I am not truly owed life in the first place. Maintaining these perspectives as much as possible best enables me to be ready for death and to realize that religion as an answer to it is at the expense of dignity.  

Permalink Reply by Gwaithmir on June 28, 2012 at 7:29am

I'm 64 now and likely have about 20 years left. It's been about 30 years since I came out as an atheist. In that time religion has become more absurd and irrational to me with each passing year. I can't see myself believing in god(s) any more than I can see myself believing in Santa Claus.

 

I've met many older atheists over the years in various groups like American Atheists. I have yet to hear of even one of them lapsing into theism or making a death bed conversion. I'd be interested to learn if any atheists were actually included in the cited study.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on June 28, 2012 at 5:34pm

I am 76 and get more anti-theist each year because of the consequences of religious thoughts and actions I see all around me.

Permalink Reply by Lillie on June 28, 2012 at 8:36am

I had always heard that straying catholics made sure they had the last rites before their demise.  This is probably less true today.  It has taken some of us into our senior years to sort it all out after years of brain washing.  I will say this, I am much more at peace today than I ever was when I was "religious."  I read the obituaries (some joke to see if they are in it) to see if any of my friends are in it and, at my age, many are.  But I do find it of interest that many people are choosing to have no funeral service of any kind these days. 

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