Tom asked, "Larry! Why do you have that old smelly fish tied around your neck.!!?"
Larry relpyed, " It keep the Christians away." Tom asked, "Where canIi get one?"
The Top ten signs that you are not a very good Christian, first thing in the morning.
10. When you first wake up and you are glad, because it is not Sunday.
9. When you first wake up and you review your things to do list and you read,
buy on line, The Pope Dart Board.
8. When you first wake up and you find yourself paging through a science book.
7. When you first wake up and you look over to find that there is another hole in your blow up sex doll.
6. When you first wake up, because there is a knock on the door and you say,
NOT THE MORMAN’S AGAIN!!!!!
6. When you first wake up and you are as mad as hell, because today is Sunday!!!
5. When you first wake up and you begin a plan to permanently keep both your boyfriends.
4. When you first wake up and go to prayer breakfast and you put a double dose of Viagra in the preacher’s breakfast. Then tell him that you’re not hungry.
3. When you first wake up and you intentionally leave the curtains open while taking a shower.
2. When first thing in the morning you get a person to person telephone wakeup call from Richard Dawkins himself.
Now the number 1 sign that you are not a very good Christian first thing in the morning is:
1. When you first wake up and go to the rest room and set down, then a minute later you find that the only paper product within your reach is your bible.
Why did the christian cross the street? Because he wanted to PROVE that god would protect him.
Who's the biggest bitch in the Bible?
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
I really truly did meet this guy who told me he fell victim to all the pitfalls of life alcohol, drugs, sex.,
Then with glee he said to me, Them I met some people from the church. Now Jesus is my savior.
I caught his eye and said to him, Why doesn’t that surprise me? It went over his head and I did not tell him.
what is the biggest problem with baptism?
they don't hold them under long enough