Jokes to offend Christians (particularly at Christmas)

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Permalink Reply by charles defrates on December 26, 2011 at 10:29am

 

Tom asked, "Larry! Why do you have that old smelly fish tied around your neck.!!?"

Larry relpyed, " It keep the Christians away." Tom asked, "Where canIi get one?"

Permalink Reply by linda wagner on December 25, 2009 at 3:58pm

just a few jokes about christians

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Permalink Reply by Marc Draco on December 25, 2009 at 4:00pm

House is so true...

Permalink Reply by linda wagner on December 25, 2009 at 8:02pm

I wish I could remember where I got all this stuff. I think I did a search for jokes about christians to send to my Dad who is aprevert and a christian. Good thing I was adopted by somebody eles and wasn't raised by that prevert.

Permalink Reply by Polymath on December 29, 2009 at 7:31pm

OK, I know it's late, but here are a couple:

Q: What's white and flashes across the sky?
A: The second coming of Jesus.


Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?
A: He forgot his 'safe word'.

Permalink Reply by linda wagner on December 30, 2009 at 11:40am

more stuff

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Permalink Reply by charles defrates on December 26, 2011 at 1:58pm

 

 

The Top ten signs that you are not a very good Christian, first thing in the morning.

                             

10. When you first wake up and you are glad, because it is not Sunday.

9. When you first wake up and you review your things to do list and you read,

 buy on line, The Pope Dart Board.

8. When you first wake up and you find yourself paging through a science book.

7. When you first wake up and you look over to find that there is another hole in your blow up sex doll.

 6. When you first wake up, because there is a knock on the door and you say,

 NOT THE MORMAN’S AGAIN!!!!!   

6. When you first wake up and you are as mad as hell, because today is Sunday!!!

5. When you first wake up and you begin a plan to permanently keep both your boyfriends.

4. When you first wake up and go to prayer breakfast and you put a double dose of Viagra in the preacher’s breakfast. Then tell him that you’re not hungry.

3. When you first wake up and you intentionally leave the curtains open while taking a shower.    

2. When first thing in the morning you get a person to person telephone wakeup call from Richard Dawkins himself.

 

Now the number 1 sign that you are not a very good Christian first thing in the morning is:

1. When you first wake up and go to the rest room and set down, then a minute later you find that the only paper product within your reach is your bible.

Permalink Reply by jeric harper on January 4, 2010 at 5:38pm

There were these two nuns riding their bicycles through the backstreets of Rome when the sister following the other exclaimed "I've never come this way before!". The nun in front yelled back, "It's the cobblestones!".

Permalink Reply by charles defrates on December 26, 2011 at 10:14am

Why did the christian cross the street?  Because he wanted to PROVE that god would protect him.

Permalink Reply by Pat on December 26, 2011 at 10:50am

Who's the biggest bitch in the Bible?

Jesus' mother.

"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

Permalink Reply by charles defrates on December 26, 2011 at 2:40pm

 

 

  I really truly did meet this guy who told me he fell victim to all the pitfalls of life alcohol, drugs, sex.,  

  Then with glee he said to me, Them I met some people from the church. Now Jesus is my savior.

  I caught his eye and said to him, Why doesn’t that surprise me? It went over his head and I did not tell him.

Permalink Reply by xhuman on May 2, 2013 at 1:03am

what is the biggest problem with baptism?  

they don't hold them under long enough

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