Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on January 20, 2012 at 9:43pm

Alice, it is interesting you mention "how you view yourself and what you expect from others". My closest two friends are retired social workers who spent their professional lives dealing with just such issues. One of the biggest problems here and in the counties around us was the judicial system and law enforcement because the judges and police tend to blame women and children who internalize the blame and shame. Some spend the rest of their lives trying to climb out from under that cloud and see themselves as worthy of decent behavior and respect. 

No, your response is not simplistic. Working with these people required we learn and teach them assertiveness and self respect. The ghosts abide and from time to time, the old feelings surface, even as we have learned how to set limits and refuse to be put down. 

Permalink Reply by Alice on January 20, 2012 at 10:00pm

it is tough to break out of patterns - I suppose I just deal with each situation as it comes up and deal with it the best I'm able at the time....  which really I think is what we all do - reminders that we do have needs and feelings that are valid is good too - I like NVC for this:

http://www.cnvc.org/Training/needs-inventory

reading through this list for the first time was a revelation for me - I hadn't imagined before that I had those needs and that they were valid.  

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on January 21, 2012 at 1:46am

Alice, the list of feelings was a revelation to me as well. I was at Whitworth and one of the exercises was to describe my feelings ... I couldn't do it; I looked around at what others looked like and then tried to imagine what they felt. So I started making a list of my feelings and putting it on the refrig and kept adding to it. Time came when awareness of feelings came easily.

I like the Needs Inventory, as well. One of my classmates couldn't identify her needs and told us the needs of her husband, children, neighbors, friends, but couldn't figure out what her needs were.

I doubt if my mother or grandmothers could have identified their feeling and needs either. I often feel like I am on the cutting edge of old Victorian values and New Age ones.    

Permalink Reply by Alice on January 21, 2012 at 4:27am

Joan - LOL I know what you mean - it can be a powerful thing to know your own feelings and needs :)

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on January 21, 2012 at 6:49pm

Alice, I just noticed a spelling error: I should have written, "Thank you, Alice, for sharing your story!"

Permalink Reply by Neil Thompson on January 19, 2012 at 1:12am

Was my mum brought up in a convent? I didn't know that. I know her grandparents were all pretty religious but I think her dad at least had some doubts towards the end of his life. I was never told anything about a convent. How did you find that out?

Permalink Reply by Alice on January 19, 2012 at 2:37am

LOL - Dad - :)

When I asked her about religion when I was about 9 years old, she told me that she was brought up by nun's - she clarified that she went to a convent school - and that the nun's were very mean - and that she had no time for religion.

Permalink Reply by Maruli Marulaki on January 21, 2012 at 12:56am

Alice, you mention that attachment was considered a vice in the cult.  Does this also concern the attachment between parents and children?  

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on January 21, 2012 at 1:48am

Attachment and abandonment are such important issues in everyday life, I wonder if a cult culture has more or less than the general population? 

Permalink Reply by Maruli Marulaki on January 21, 2012 at 1:52am

Alice mentioned attachment as a special issue of the cult, so I would like to know, what this meant especially in the cult, different from everyday life.

Permalink Reply by Alice on January 21, 2012 at 4:34am

the whole basis is to be in constant remembrance of the father (God) - the soul in the soul world.  Have a continual connection with God - so if your mind wonders you are encouraged to bring your attention back to God.

It's is frowned upon to have a distracted mind in any way - only full concentration on God the father is appreciated.

If we are distracted with concerns about health, or family members etc - this is called maya - or negative energy - and should be let go - in order to maintain connection with the father - God, soul, Supreme being.

We can't have any attachments to family, children, possessions, clothes, our body, foods we like etc.... nothing can distract our minds.  We will treat our lives like we are actors, fulfilling our responsibilities but always in connection with God - being our angelic self's - a body of light, peace and love - our true nature the soul.

You want brainwashed.... here it is!  LOL

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on January 21, 2012 at 1:16pm

Alice, this is unimaginable for me. As I read you comment I understood what being distracted is. This morning, thinking of a challenge one of my sons faces this weekend and thinking about how he is going to solve it, I spread jam on a plate, not on toast. I laughed so hard I aroused the household. 

I wonder if a group of people who follow nature as their spiritual foundation would do such a thing?

I lay this kind of domination on the lap of religion, not on homo sapiens. 

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