Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rejectthegods on January 2, 2011 at 11:02pm

I'd imagine any chat I'd have with any member of of my family would go along those same lines. I've often said, they'd be much more upset that I am an atheist than I am gay.

I don't know that you can do much of anything other than stay true to yourself. My plan is to let my family think whatever they want to think as long as they think it. Took them too many years to accept the gay thing, I don't know that they'd EVER forgive the atheist thing.

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on January 4, 2011 at 10:52am

But is it really worth being dishonest with your family, if they love someone you're not?

Permalink Reply by heretic on January 3, 2011 at 6:45pm

Hey Orson,

Hello,
well even though the closemindedness of ppl, esp relatives, can suck badly, as long as he is not like, "i'm going to try to sabotage you", it likely will end up okay.

OK hopefully this dude is not on a personal crusade. well it's good you managed to get him to not bring it up during the holidays...(oh i mean, holydays!)

bec if he is that diehard of a believer, if nothing else, at least that part is promising.

yeah well, sure, of course you are right that they can not imagine anyone else's belief syst--that's exactly what makes ALL of them so narrow minded in the first place (i mean xtians, muslims, jews, etc). maybe you should surreptitiously set his homepage to www.bettybowers.com. (aka one of my heros)

just curious, are your folks baptist? cos i just moved to the south, and i keep meeting baptists who want to take me to their churches. (eekSCAREE!)

cheers,
jillian

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on January 4, 2011 at 10:55am

 

Of course, I really do think my cousin believes he's on a crusade for the souls of all humanity.  That if any one doesn't see the world the way he does, he has failed.

 

They sure are.  Baptists are very evangelical around here, and tend to do that a lot.  You get used to it after a while, providing you have a fun quip handy.

Where did you move from exactly?  Seems odd that you didn't have evangelical types, but I've lived here all my life.

Permalink Reply by Richard Healy on January 3, 2011 at 7:31pm

Orson

 

Good debate.

 

I'd personally have gone after them for the 'god can do anything he wants he is in charge' line comparing god to a mafia boss and them to a flunky.

 

But that might work in an online context - face to face with family perhaps not so wise.

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on January 4, 2011 at 10:57am

Ha, well, like I said to him, I refuse to believe in any god who acts like a bully.  That's not what I believed God was like when I was a Christian, but that seems to be how many people characterize him, even believers.  I get told by Christians who are more moderate that I'm setting up a strawman and that no one really believes god is like that.  But some do.

Permalink Reply by Aly Jiselle on February 24, 2011 at 7:12am

Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to the difficulties of coming out to family. I finally broke down and told my mom, and although she didn't disown me like I thought she would, our relationship is more strained now than it was before (and it was pretty bad before).  Despite that, I must admit that it feels damn good to have gotten that off my chest, and no longer have to live a lie with her. I told my brother also, but he thinks I'm just temporarily "mad at god" (you've heard that before, I'm sure).  All that matters to me is that-- like it or not-- the people who are closest to me know the truth, and now they all do. 

 

But trust me, I know it's not easy for people to come out down here (I'm closeted at work, for instance, because I'd probably lose my job), so I'm extremely grateful for groups like this and other online networks for giving us a place where we can be ourselves and meet others in our same situation. It's very refreshing and validating to know I'm not alone down here in the Magnolia State...

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on February 24, 2011 at 8:47am

Oh tell me about it.  It's like it's so damn obvious to everyone else, and I'm just stupid or something for not seeing it.  I'm glad to know it's not just people in North Mississippi.

 

Incidentally, I don't want to ask you to tell me anything you don't want to, but I'd really like to hear your story. 

 

And always remember.  No one is ever truly alone.  Unless there's been a mass extinction, in which case you could be.

Permalink Reply by Aly Jiselle on February 24, 2011 at 5:43pm

I posted a brief intro under the discussion threads, but I'll be glad to tell you more. Ask me anything!

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on February 26, 2011 at 6:37pm

Whelp, in an act of overwhelming miscalculation, I decided to turn a freudian slip into an admission and now my parents know. Mom's fine. In mere seconds she managed to justify my behavior, and presumed I'd return to religion some day.

Dad took it much worse, informing me that I had lied to him, therefore I had lost his trust. Because once you lie, nothing you say can be trusted. This especially includes scientists who are paid off by billionaire philanthropist George Soros. Frankly, I'm happy. He's not. I'm happy I'm happy, but sad that he's taking this so hard because he doesn't have to.

Permalink Reply by vjack on February 27, 2011 at 9:33am

Good for you! Hopefully your dad will come around eventually.

Permalink Reply by Orson_Zedd on February 27, 2011 at 2:05pm

No, he won't.  He won't listen to what I have to say because I don't listen to what he has to say.  And by listen to what he has to say, I mean agree unconditionally.  I don't care anymore about the old asshole.  Frankly, I probably didn't in the first place.  I just love him because I'm conditioned to.  And if he'll never talk to me ever again, then I'll manage.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page