Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by James Kz on January 8, 2013 at 6:23pm

My wife and I used to be paid members of Experience Project (where we held forth against the innumerable apologists there) until it had tons of groups dedicated to paedophilia and cooking drugs started. We then both left.

Both of us are primarily loners, which is how we found each other. (::

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 8, 2013 at 6:35pm

How wonderful James. Very nice that you met your wife there.

I didn't see that other stuff on the site.

I was just reading the stories on being a loner.

Thanks for your reply. : )

Permalink Reply by John Jubinsky on January 8, 2013 at 7:43pm

I like it Steph.  I can identify with it except that I don't allow people to hurt me too much, at least not at the time they are trying to. Part of a Hank Williams Sr. song rings true in me. It says: "If you only want to hurt me there'll be no tear drops tonight." Sometimes after the fact when I analyze the lack of appreciation I realize that I experienced some sort of subconscious hurt that was deep but incapable of breaking me down. Under those circumstances I sometimes think of the saying: "Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." 

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 8, 2013 at 7:47pm

Thank you very much John. Yes, I am a sensitive person - sometimes too sensitive. I agree that it does make you a stronger person. So I will continue to grow and become stronger. I appreciate you replying. : )

 

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mahatma Gandhi

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on January 9, 2013 at 9:47am

I can relate to a lot of loner stories, but I don't seem to be able to handle being alone as well as most.

I strongly long for companionship, but haven't had a real friend for decades, and once I started seeing the problem with religion, I couldn't enjoy talking with my religious family members.

I know I'm too picky, but I just can't bring myself to put-up with fluff, BS, stupidity, egotism, and meanness.  I would rather be alone, even though I hate being alone.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 10:29am

Hey there Spud!

I am extremely picky about friends too. I only want a real, true friend. I certainly don't want someone who is mean or lies all the time. I don't want anyone who is fake. Sometimes being alone is preferable to being with a toxic fake and false friend.

Well, you can count me as your friend Spud. I'm here for you. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here.

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on January 9, 2013 at 11:03am

Thank you for that offer Steph.  I remember you making it before, and I desire to take you up on the offer.  However, I have two problems holding me back.  One, I'm very reticent to waste peoples time, especially someone as busy as you.  Two, the older I get, the longer it takes me to trust someone.

However, if anyone on Atheist Nexis acts like a friend, it's you, and I hope you take no offense at what I've said.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 11:32am

How sweet - thank you Spud. I am the same way. It takes me a long time to trust someone. Once bitten - twice shy - they say and it is true. I've had bad experiences in the past, so trusting is very hard for me.

You would never waste my time. : )

I'm very good at email. : )

Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on January 9, 2013 at 8:12pm

Wish I had the time to give this a proper treatment, but let's see how this goes. Yeah, I want to be motivated, and to motivate others, on a higher level than that which regular people seem content to be motivated on. I don't get psyched just to hang out with groups of people, in fact that terrifies me more than excites me. Probably that's the problem right there, because if I really enjoyed being extroverted and outgoing I'm sure I would have found a place amidst some groups of people and been content to have the trajectory of my life be largely determined by those group identifications rather than some more truly personal goals. Or perhaps, the other option is that I haven't found any particular group to be worthy of my whole heart and "soul", though I haven't given up looking. Mostly that is why I am on this site, figuring like-minded atheists (of the liberal sort) to be as close as any group worth living and dying for. There have been flashes of promise here and there but, being separated by so much, be it geographical distance or distance of many other varied types, no real cohesive group has presented itself as such. I actually find myself wishing often that whatever destructive forces are in the relatively-near future, be it climate destabilization or economic collapse or what have you, that they would just come in, prove me right to everyone about how short-sighted everyone's thinking has been, and force us all to reorganize according to some actually meaningful set of relationships. Don't tell me I'm the only one who thinks that way! Anyways, I quietly persevere until I find myself in more meaningful circumstances, like Odysseus pining to get off of Circe's island, or Calypso's, or both (weird, that). Having 4 sons of my own helps a great deal, but man does it take a long time for them to grow up! Of course when they do, I'll be saying that they grew up way too fast. Then I'll really need a life change.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 8:24pm

Well thanks so very much for your reply Jedi. You have your hands full with your 4 sons.

I am so glad to have others of like-mind on the site to talk with.

It's so wonderful to come here.