I told someone I was an Introvert recently and guess what the response was?
Well, it was like this ... you can always change, you can become an Extrovert.
They obviously have no understanding of Introverts.
Anyone have this happen to them? What did you do?
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
When I was young, I went with an extrovert to visit the sick in a hospital. I didn't know what to say to them, so I just let him do the talking. He finally said "Say something", as if it was as easy as breathing.
I think I tried to explain that nothing came to mind, but he just had no comprehension that it was very difficult for an introvert.
At age 71, I can now usually find something to say to people in most situations, but it's still not always easy, especially when we have nothing in common. I hate making small talk.
Idaho Spud I am like that too. I have had people say to me "Why aren't you talking?" Or "why are you so quiet?" I don't like small talk either.
After thinking about it, I wasn't very young when this incident took place. I think I was in my 30's.
Yeah I still get comments like that today in fact. And I'm not a teenager or anything. So yeah - it still happens.
Be yourself - that's what I tell people.
I don't remember anyone telling me I could change to an extrovert, but I do remember a lot of people indicated that's what they thought by their words and actions.
I got that indication very strongly from the Mormon church. They tried to make everyone into a teacher, a leader, an outgoing proselytizer, and a preacher. It was very uncomfortable for me. In the 50 years I was active, I did quite a bit of what they said I should do (all I could do), but it never became comfortable or enjoyable.
I finally realized that the scripture where Jebus said "take my yoke upon you, .... for my my yoke is easy and my burden is light" was untrue. It was always hard and heavy. That's one of the realizations that helped me break-out of the brainwashing.
I've been constantly told throughout my life that I need to be more outgoing. My family has learned to accept the fact that I'm just not going to change myself like that. I mostly had this happen at work and in most of the churches I've been to while I was still a Christian. I had people try to get me fired for not being very talkative at my first job, a place called Micro Cafe while I was a student at Ball State University.
In the majority of churches I used to go to while I was still in my hometown there was a tendency for a bunch of people to try to get me to sing in front of everyone. They tried to nag, force, blackmail, and trick me into it and simply wouldn't take no for an answer. Eventually they just went out of their way to act like I didn't exist when they realized they'd never get me to sing in front of everyone against my will. One time at one of the last churches I visited back home (I'm from Indiana and now live in Colorado), it was particularly frustrating. The pastor's daughter (this was more of a hillbilly church, very old fashioned) and one of the pianists led all the kids (most no older than 7) and the youth group (consisting of 6 people) to the back of the church. My brother and I thought this was going to be a typical day. It wasn't. Rather than going to our normal rooms, we all had to gather in the fellowship hall. These two women tried to get everyone to practice children's songs to sing in front of the church as one big group. My brother and I were singled out because we were the biggest introverts there. They tried for months to get us to sing in front of the church and wouldn't take no for an answer. When asking didn't work, they turned to nagging. When nagging didn't work, they turned to trying to force us into it. When forcing us didn't work, they turned to threatening to hold the entire group in the fellowship hall until we did. When that didn't work, my brother and I turned to reading our Bibles in an attempt to shut out everyone. After this, the pianist realized it was useless trying to get us to sing and relented. The pastor's daughter ended up not going through with her threat and instead was furious. After church, she stormed over to my dad and shouted at him, saying that we weren't singing the required songs. He was calm about it and was like, "Look, you're just not going to get them to sing." At this, she stormed off, throwing her arms up in the air, letting out a loud, frustrated sigh. I thought it was funny watching this happen and a huge relief. Of course, this ended up with my brother and I being treated like we were invisible by nearly everyone there from then on. It wasn't one of my reasons for leaving Christianity, but it is one of the things I resent from my time as a Christian and why I refused to sing in church again.
Wow, you had some real dictators after you. Sounds like you had it much worse than me.
That wasn't the worst I've seen during my time as a Christian, but it was pretty close. I also remember hearing about the pastor of a church I used to go to telling this one boy in the youth group that if he didn't sing in the choir he wasn't serving God.
Oh that pastor is so wrong - good thing you got out of there Kyle.
I have had people tell me that too Kyle - they assume there is something wrong with you - but you are just fine the way you are. I am glad I am free of Xtian beliefs too.
I am glad to have you in the group.
I never go to large social events as I find them absolutely draining. People I have known for years still can't accept that. They take it personally. My parents' reaction when I was younger was always "well, you will just have to get over that!" . Not
Really. I HAVE gotten over feeling guilty about it.