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So frustrated!!!!

Hey everyone! I'm new to this site and group.

I feel SO alone! I was born/raised roman catholic in NY. My husband too. I don't know what age I stopped believing but I think it was around the time I figured out Santa was fake.

My husband knew I was a skeptic before we even got involved, and he knew further into the relationship that I was a non-believer.

We got married by a judge. His catholic parents didn't show up, neither did my mother. My father & sister came.

We now live in NC (I am surrounded by southern baptists!!!) and we have 3 children together (girl 5, girl 4, and boy 4 months). He has a (girl 9) from a previous relationship.

My husband went from catholic to christian in the Navy. He has always been a believer, but has always been on and off about doing his thing with it.

Ever since I had my son & we both almost died he has been REALLY into his faith. Reading the bible at least 3x/day. Reading god-related material. Listening to christian music. Texting bible verses to friends. Preaching on Face Book. Talking to me about god/bible/faith (not trying to convert me). Going up to people "knowing" they needed him to hear his message. He started praying with my 5yr old daughter every morning while waiting for the bus. Etc.

I asked him if he could wait on the whole god thing until they are older and can grasp the concept better so they can think for themselves and not feel obligated into anything, his beliefs or my non-beliefs. He refuses. He says he wants them to know god and it is his duty.

I am alone here. The frustration, anger, depression and loneliness is building up in me. I have bad anxiety over this whole mess. I am constantly clenching my teeth causing headaches. I grind my teeth at night. I am just not happy. I love my husband dearly and we are best friends otherwise. I feel like an outcast in my own house, in my friendships, in my family and in my town.

I just need some coping strategies. Maybe some online support.

I don't have PPD either. I love my kids and I function pretty well overall. This god stuff REALLY bothers me. Makes me angry.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rose on October 14, 2011 at 10:32am

Hi Shay, I don't have any words of wisdom for you but just wanted to let you know you've got company. My husband isn't nearly fundamentalist and our kids are grown so I don't have it nearly as tough as you.

But my husband and one of my sons were in a serious wreck 5 years ago and my husband started getting serious about his religion (also Catholic) after that. He's the sweetest guy in the world but I feel like I live in a house with a stranger. I do my thing and he does his.

Permalink Reply by Justin Bonaparte on October 14, 2011 at 10:39am

I really feel for your situation. I have a very similar thing going on here, although I think we've reached a level of understanding of each other (I'm an atheist, my wife is Christian). I'm ok with the kids going to church, Christian daycare, etc., but I don't hide my thoughts and feelings either. We speak to them honestly and with the idea that it's up to them to make their own decision on what they believe or don't believe. I grew up in a Christian household, and I was never a believer, so perhaps the same will happen for them, or maybe they'll be believers, I don't really think anyone can know. I just want for them to have critical thinking skills, as I believe those are important whether you're a believer or not.

Hoping for the best!

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on October 14, 2011 at 6:35pm

Hi Shay! You have supporters here. Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Have you tried marital counseling? Maybe that would help your husband to know what your feelings are about religion and how it is affecting you.

Permalink Reply by Round Peg on October 14, 2011 at 6:39pm

Hi Shay. I'm another husband with a Christian wife. We have a daughter too (6 years old), and she's learning a lot of things at church I'm definitely not excited about too. I can understand your frustration and anger.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on October 30, 2011 at 7:41pm

Shay are things better now?

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