The curse of Facebook

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Annie Roark on August 25, 2009 at 12:34pm

Aside from the request for cease & desist, do you also tell them that you'll remove them? Just had to double check. Perhaps uncheck the "Show Wall posts" in Privacy > News Feed and Wall.
On the other hand, if you are very active in Wastebook and you do post links and comments related to atheism, it can show up on their Wall as well. Maybe that's why the proselytizing, maybe their friends and friends of friends are freaking out.

It's your account, it's your persona, it's you. You can choose whatever you like how you like to present yourself and how your relationships will be like, in internet or real life. So if you feel comfortable with your procedure, then you're fine. It's quite rude that even after a polite note that they will act like that. They ought to appreciate you as a human being not by whatever you believe or don't believe in.

Before you delete them off FB, give them an polite/diplomatic private message WHY you are doing it as a last final straw message. Kinda like how one makes a resignation letter. That way they will not be left wondering why one left their friend list. Sometimes people do leave Wastebook altogether and you're one less friend short, though one never knows the true reasons. But to PM them before deletion will remove that curiosity.

Good luck (and godless speed?) with your interweb misadventures ;)
~Corinna

Permalink Reply by Franklin Bacon on August 25, 2009 at 3:38pm

I would give them three chances...first is fair warning, second is if they make an error. Third is the sign they have no respect for your wishes and so fair is fair, right? No need to ask Dear Abby...

Permalink Reply by Kristi Leitholt on August 25, 2009 at 3:57pm

I think as long as you've given the person fair warning, you're justified in removing them. No one likes to get preached at, and since you've politely asked them to stop, I don't see any problem in taking them off of your Facebook list. I would probably do the same thing.

Permalink Reply by It's just Matt on August 25, 2009 at 5:27pm

They should be so fortunate to receive even one polite request. You would not go to their pages saying how childish it is to believe in the supernatural, yet they would.

Things like this make me think about a Ghandi quote:
"I like your Christ, but I do not like you Christians, you Christians are nothing like your Christ."

Permalink Reply by Brad Feaker on August 25, 2009 at 7:52pm

Thanks for the suggestions - while I am open about my atheism I do not push it on others. Most of my posts on Facebook relate to my family or science. However, many Christians are threatened by science.

I may adopt the 3 strike rule...

Permalink Reply by HourglassStargazer on August 26, 2009 at 7:17am

Why should they get three chances to so openly disrespect you? If you do that, they will thoroughly enjoy proselytizing each and every time because they are trying to "save" you, when you know there is nothing to be "saved" from. They need to accept who you are, and respect your request. Their behavior is degrading and rude, and this is not how friends who respect one another treat each other. Would they afford you the same chances on their page if you left comments that tore down their beliefs? Would you even think of doing that on a page of a friend that you know was a devout Christian?

I think the one private message was a very kind and understanding way to convey the message that you do not appreciate -nor wish- to recieve comments insulting your views on life or suggestions that you should take on certain beliefs. Maybe I seem a bit rude, but I am quite sick of religion getting a free pass all the time. They only recognize persecution when they are on the recieving end, and it's gotten old.

Permalink Reply by Rusty Gunn. on September 1, 2009 at 12:36am

Your Facebook page is your's do use as you please. You have absolutely NO obligation to remain "friend" with anybody and you are free to terminate that relationship without notice.

Permalink Reply by Brad Feaker on September 10, 2009 at 12:00pm

Don't stop using Facebook - use the ban stick!!!

Permalink Reply by David J. Scroggins on September 15, 2009 at 11:18am

Brad, as I've become more open about my agnosticism (I was raised a fundamentalist Christian), I have attempted to do my best to not burn bridges but let others choose to burn them. Growing up, atheists were always portrayed as being secretly miserable and afraid of the "truth," so I've intentionally tried to make clear that I am happier outside of religion. Of course, this probably has been a much more frustrating and hurtful path, but I feel I've learned a great deal about what it is like to live as a non-theist in a dominantly theistic society. Having said this, though, to actively proselytize on someone's facebook wall is a different matter and I feel you are fully justified in removing friends, especially if you have kindly requested that they cease. I feel you are far from over-reacting, rather, your willingness to ask politely is a sign of your generosity over and against the rudeness of said proselytizers.