Tell us all about the crazy things you did in the name of JC. One of the ones I was most proud of was catching people using jesus name in vain, they would swear JC!!! and I would say 'Go ahead, he's listening, you got his attention, now tell him what you called him for.' Um, when you are very cool in a group of guys and this little christian girl says that to you! Um I got some interesting reactions!

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I'm lucky that I'm very introverted, so I never did anything too screwy, besides go through bouts of CD and video-game expulsions :P
I did the "He's listening" thing too.

I would also type John 3:16 in the graphing calculators I borrowed in my math classes. Openly reading my Bible in classes was a big thing too.

I also participated in abortion protests (complete with graphic posters; I was a young teen at the time, mind you) and anti-gay rights demonstrations.

I voted for Dubya in 2004, because he was "God's choice."

Traveled to Mexico and India to "convert the lost souls" of those heathen nations.

Gave up all secular music from the time I was 13 until I was about 20.

Swore off dating and decided I'd only allow myself to be courted by a young man if I thought we might end up married. Constantly berated myself for having crushes, since such thoughts were "sinful."

That's about all the insanity I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more as I think about it.
whoo boy!

I refused to wear pants for years or listen to secular music. I would go door to door asking folks if they know where they would spend eternity. If they did not, I'd lead them to Jesus.

I'm sorry.
My oldest daughter (actually my step daughter) found my website and posted in the comments section. One of her comments was that her decision to accept Jesus came in large part because of my influence on her.

That's what I thought of Kitty when I read your final words...I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I helped create that false perception in her mind. All I can do now is try to minimize the damage.
One thing I will carry with me until I die is that I got my daughter involved in church and Christianity. I have battled ever since I de-converted to correct that mistake. Thankfully I did not repeat that mistake with my son. But all is not lost - my daughter has moved from believer to 'I'm not sure'. And that is a step in the right direction. But I still carry guilt for what I have done.
Slipping gospel tracts into windows of parked cars on a hot summer day, where they left their car's windows down a tiny bit to expel the heat while they were away.
I actually just wrote an apology for my "nutzoid" things as a Christian.
I allowed myself to accept that I was a lesser being, in being a woman.

I glazed over the very dark details of the bible.

After glazing over the dark areas of the bible, I spent years claiming "Halloween" was evil. I missed out on a lot of fun, and I ruined a lot of fun for other people.

I had gospel tracts that I would leave out for people. (I hate those things now!)

I wrote a letter to my cousin, who is involved in the Wiccan religion, and told her I hoped she would find Jesus. (I never found him, knew him, or had any other real experience- but I felt it was my duty to impose on her...) I'm so ashamed of this one in particular. I still love her to this very day, and I feel I did something so utterly disrespectful. I could just vomit.

I watched John Hagee, Joel Osteen, Jack Van Impe, Hal Lindsey, and Joyce Meyer. It took a while to ask myself who were they really, and why were they dressed so nice, and why were they giving pep talks everytime and things were still shit for me, and what the hell did they need money for from their viewers? ??? Why did it take me SO LONG TO ASK WHY? Very very foolish, I was.

I worked in a Church, I spent money I couldn't afford to spend to support things in the church, and all they wanted was more. More time, more money. When I left I didn't fess up to being an atheist (I was an atheist before I ever got my foot out of the sanctuary). I sat in the office of one of the women from the church, and it was clear to me that each member of a congregation represents dollar signs. This woman had a nicer home than me, a better hairdo than me, had wayyyyyyy nicer clothing than me, drove a superior automobile, and it dawned on me that I was such a fool for far too long. I spent money I worked so damn hard for on their causes. I wasn't paying proper attention to myself. I was a fool, but I was a very angry fool, indeed.

I allowed myself to believe in the flood fairy tale. I allowed myself to believe in creation. I allowed myself to take the ridiculous as literal. I am deeply regretful of this. Thankfully I am in school now (I'm 32 people- I spent my 20's farting around with bullshit), and I will be learning for real this time. How sad I feel when I think of the wasted thoughts, time and money.


I think there is more that I did in the name of, and for the love of Jesus, but this covers a lot of it.
Two spring to mind. When I was about 16, a friend of mind was going in for her second or third abortion. My fundie friend and I visited her in the hospital and stood at the foot of her bed and showered fire and brimstone down on her. Imagine that. Being in the hospital and your friend coming and yelling at you and telling you you are going to hell. I'm surprised she ever forgave me for that one.

The other one was in grade 6. Our French teacher was trying to teach us adjectives. She put up a big display on the back bulletin board of the astrology signs, and the qualities of each... it was a great and fun way to introduce some new French words to 11 year olds.

I flipped out. Went home and got TONS of pamphlets and supplementary material and brought it in and gave it to the principal. It was all about how astrology was the occult and occult was a sin and counter to the church. I was so personally offended by the display I remember telling her she couldn't have it up.

The next day the principal made her take it down.
The list is too long for me to even know where to start.

I'll say this one though because I think it's kind of funny. At the age of 14, with some friends, at 1:00 am, on a giving-tracts-to-the-drunk-homeless mission, we passed by a statue of a pig. Who doesn't remember the story of the Gadarenes? And besides, I was taught that statues housed spirits which in turn controlled the streets/vicinities of the statue. Well, me and my friends lit in right away, with much fervent prayer and loud commanding, trying to cast the demons out of the pig statue and thereby exorcise the block. Yup, casting demons out of statues in the dead of the night... probably never live that one down.

Here's one that's not as funny but certainly insane - so indoctrinated was I into 'passing out tracts', that, around the age of 11, at a gas station, I walked right up to a Brinx (armored bank) truck, and indicated for the (armed!) driver to roll down his window so I could give him the tract. He refused, and I CLIMBED UP ON THE BRINX TRUCK while he, instantly on full alert, stared wide-eyed at me, and stuffed the tract under his windshield wiper. And then I hopped down off this ARMORED VEHICLE and strolled off, pleased as punch at my fearlessness for the Lord. Good thing I didn't get myself shot, jeez. Of course, then I would have just been a martyr...
Hmm. It's not so nutzoid, but something that's bothered me greatly afterwards. For one, I held bible studies with some fellow students in my high school - and I actually had some influence back then. Fortunately, they turned out mostly secular after all. Phew! But the worst thing was finding out that my fervent religiosity had made my best friends feel judged and alienated, though I didn't notice that at the time. I've been forgiven, of course, but it's always harder to forgive oneself..

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