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Basically got ex-commuicated from a support system (but was it realy supportive?!)
Hey, Jencarlene here. :)
More problems going on.
See, for the past 3 years, I have been going to OA online and as I have come out of the closet as an atheist (partially, never really overtly came out, but have been sharing ideas in the room and on the email loop that are a little controversial. Things like accepting my emotions and myself exactly as i am and not feeling guilty and repentant.
Well, i got banned from the room last week and called them on it. I said to them, "I did nothing wrong to deserve banning, you accuse me of being vulgar and harrassing members when I never swear or say "dirty" things online and NEVER harrass members! Why did you ban me? Out with it!" I of course used more polite wording.
Well, the administrator of the room replied to me with what I know now is a lie, because later they retaliated against me for complaining. The admin basically "apologized" to me and told me there was a mixup/mistake. She and a couple of other members seemed genuinely apologetic and promised not to do it again.
Anyway, I logged on the next day and no one said hello to me on the room, and when I asked them if I was in the room (sometimes when the room is quiet it means theres a netsplit) no one answered.
I went on the "help" room to see what the problem might be. 2 people were there that had helped me with a tech problem before and neither one of them, this time, asked me if they could be any help. (I understand now that there was probable a retaliation from them, too.)
While I was trying to figure out how to approach them, I was suddenly kicked out of the room, with no way to log back on.
I then emailed the admin again and told her, "I don't know what happened, but I was kicked out of the room with no warning or explanation. Whatever is going on, I don't need to deal with it anymore. It is clear to me that i am not wanted here."
Additionally, I am still struggling with brainwashing by religion, and have decided to abandon 12 step programs altogether because I am sick of everyone there being so "magically thinking" and weird toward me, esp. cause I do not appear to be "humble" enough. I feel as though they are dogging me out because I am not a believer or have faith in a "Higher Power".
They seem to want to drag ppl thru the mud if these ppl show any self-esteem or independent thought.
I miss the community, but I do not miss the way 12 step people have been treating me for the past 25 years.
Jencarlene
More problems going on.
See, for the past 3 years, I have been going to OA online and as I have come out of the closet as an atheist (partially, never really overtly came out, but have been sharing ideas in the room and on the email loop that are a little controversial. Things like accepting my emotions and myself exactly as i am and not feeling guilty and repentant.
Well, i got banned from the room last week and called them on it. I said to them, "I did nothing wrong to deserve banning, you accuse me of being vulgar and harrassing members when I never swear or say "dirty" things online and NEVER harrass members! Why did you ban me? Out with it!" I of course used more polite wording.
Well, the administrator of the room replied to me with what I know now is a lie, because later they retaliated against me for complaining. The admin basically "apologized" to me and told me there was a mixup/mistake. She and a couple of other members seemed genuinely apologetic and promised not to do it again.
Anyway, I logged on the next day and no one said hello to me on the room, and when I asked them if I was in the room (sometimes when the room is quiet it means theres a netsplit) no one answered.
I went on the "help" room to see what the problem might be. 2 people were there that had helped me with a tech problem before and neither one of them, this time, asked me if they could be any help. (I understand now that there was probable a retaliation from them, too.)
While I was trying to figure out how to approach them, I was suddenly kicked out of the room, with no way to log back on.
I then emailed the admin again and told her, "I don't know what happened, but I was kicked out of the room with no warning or explanation. Whatever is going on, I don't need to deal with it anymore. It is clear to me that i am not wanted here."
Additionally, I am still struggling with brainwashing by religion, and have decided to abandon 12 step programs altogether because I am sick of everyone there being so "magically thinking" and weird toward me, esp. cause I do not appear to be "humble" enough. I feel as though they are dogging me out because I am not a believer or have faith in a "Higher Power".
They seem to want to drag ppl thru the mud if these ppl show any self-esteem or independent thought.
I miss the community, but I do not miss the way 12 step people have been treating me for the past 25 years.
Jencarlene
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by L.Hunter on -
Wow . Interesting story. I've always heard groups like that were pretty weird and peddler nonsense. Too bad its true. I'm sure you'll be fine without them.
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Permalink Reply by Jen E. on -
I assure you. It's true. Like I just told linda, they are sweet to you only if you "get" it and I never got religion.
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Permalink Reply by Linda on -
Well there is the slight possibility that a true mistake was made and also, the chat room could have been malfunctioning but (imo) it does sound highly probable their noses are well whacked out of joint about you being an out atheist.
I went to one OA meeting just to see what it was like and though they said you could have your higher power to be the group or whatever, they all held hands and said the Lord's prayer before the meeting commenced. Oh, and the meeting was held in a childrens' Sunday school room in a church lol.
I never went back. I consdiered it, but realized relious thinking was just layed on too thick in that particular group. I never tried a different group of OA.
If it is the case that you have been pushed to the back because of your being an out atheist, I am not surprised at all.
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Permalink Reply by Jen E. on
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Linda, I checked with them. They are acting very strange. I feel that most 12 step people are like that; they will not take any account on how they might have acted; what they basically think is that if I don't "get" the program, (and I am sure they know that I don't "get" it) that I basically don't deserve their special treatment. They are sweet to newcomers, and even sweeter to ppl who think like them and I know they are not so sweet to ppl who don't "get" it after their first day. I know because I am not the only neo-agnostic who gets this treatment.
Jencarlene -
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