My former stepfather is an ordained Baptist minister. He claimed to be a pure "man of god" but the things he did still make me cry more than 2 years after they happened. He often went to bars, watched porn, and cheated on my mom w/numerous women (he even made lewd suggestions directed at me), and then blamed her for the cheating. He'd scream at my brother and i, calling us names like "dumb motherfuckers" and even made my brother go an entire day w/out food, water, or bathroom breaks (and said god & the bible encouraged this type of discipline). he thought ppl were for the using and wanted to start a church that would serve as a cult of personality, and nearly bankrupted my mom in order to start the church. when my mom went to the baptist church about my stepfather's behavior they told her to "take the log out of her own eye" and not pass judgement or condemnation on my stepdad. they haven't disciplined him in any way. even though my ex-stepdad still lives in the same city as we do he refuses to see my brother, his own son, b/c he "didn't want him to begin with." he continues to take advantage over emotionally & "spiritually" vulnerable ppl, especially older women who are lonely and/or suffering w/dementia and other ailments. he thinks that god wants him to do these things; that god is blessing him. he truly sees himself as a righteous, just, & moral person.
but what hurts the most isn't his actions but the man he claimed he was doing those actions
p.s. sorry for the bad grammar
It sounds l like all of this is pretty fresh. Unfortunately nothing will make these feelings go away immediately, but time will prove to ease some of the pain, if not heal them completely. Finding community and sharing, just as you just did is extremely helpful. Give yourself some time, grace, and patience. There are more and more resources for those of us who are hurting, look into Marlene Winell (marlenewinell.net) Recovering Religionists (recoveringreligionists.com) and online groups. Be sure to take care of yourself and stand up for yourself. Healing and Clarity may take time, but they will come!
ty so much for sharing this.
It is grounding me.
man of God?
a person like this who claims to be a man of God.
in my upbringing, ppl told me things horrible things, in the name of love and did worse things in the name of love.
I was starved and tortured myself. yes, "in the name of God and His love" and to "purifiy" me and make me a "good person".