Atheist Nexus

Brother Richard

Life After Christian Fundamentalism

Information

Life After Christian Fundamentalism

Recovering from the side effects of Christian fundamentalism is not easy.

•The ongoing fear of Hell
•Rejection from family members
•Ongoing guilt
•Loss of community

If you can relate, join.
This is not a debate group.

Members: 355
Latest Activity: Aug 26

Welcome to "Life After Christian Fundamentalism."

Jump to Forum

This group was born out of my meeting with Nate Phelps during the American Atheist Convention in Atlanta.

My wife Angela and I took Nate and his fiancée Angela out to enjoy the evilness of The Varsity. Almost instantly we hit it off, and felt like we had been friends for years. Not only did we have similar backgrounds, but we all shared the desire to help others who were leaving Christian fundamentalism.

I asked Nate to write about his experiences in Atlanta on my blog Life Without Faith. He graciously accepted and you can read it here.

As support for this group, Nate has graciously allowed Atheist Nexus to post the entire transcript of his Atlanta speech. It is long, emotionally moving, and a must read. Check it out here.

Below is a documentary on Nate's Family entitled, "Fall From Grace." Play All Videos In Order (8)

Here is a recent news story featuring my former church:

Brother Richard

Nate's Website: Nate Phelps
My Personal Website: Life Without Faith

Discussion Forum

Gin Sparrow

Feeling Worthless 13 Replies

Started by Gin Sparrow. Last reply by Kitty Aug 23.

Jencarlene Etoile

Religious brainwashing and illness/pain (I know there are coincidences!) 19 Replies

Started by Jencarlene Etoile. Last reply by Linda Aug 23.

Jencarlene Etoile

problems with glitches (comment wall) can't welcome new people on nexus or groups 1 Reply

Started by Jencarlene Etoile. Last reply by Linda S Aug 20.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Life After Christian Fundamentalism to add comments!

Clifford Gliddon Comment by Clifford Gliddon on August 19, 2010 at 7:46pm
I've been somewhat of a lurker in this blog for some time, a lurker because I was never a xian fundamentalist, and I grew up in an atheist family. I have to admire everyones' strength of conscience and commitment. Although I felt the pressure to comply and conform to the culturally-embedded, bible-belt status quo as early as I can remember, it was undoubtedly not much compared to what you all have had to face. I did have most of my relatives from rural Texas, so I have seen that old time religion first hand.

An interesting thing is that as far as I know none of them were haters -- they did not want to kill the poor, or the gays, or blacks or Mexicans, or whatever, or at least they did not say so. We see so much of that vile hatred these days, partly because of the media's interest in stirring up trouble instead of doing actual work.

My reason for posting is really to give a partial answer to Adelita's question about why the xians think they have a corner on the moral market. Part of it is a result of the fear-based structure that the religion has raised from nothing for supposed moral self-examination. In their scheme you can never succeed -- You are always a "worthless sinner." I suspect that the members on this blog understand better than most what it feels like to be (allegedly) condemned to a path that you can never complete on your own. I think this creates a desperation about fear of failure (the consequences are dire), and a continuing sense of "we *must* be doing the right thing (or else), so everybody who does not agree is wrong, sinful, imbued with satan's intentions, etc.

In the real world without gods, we just take our best shot and learn to take responsibility for the results as part of the maturation process, and that in itself is yields a tremendous sense of freedom. We do what we do, and recriminations are a practical concern instead of an eternity (whatever that means) in a hell of something bronze age goatherds thought was scary.

You guys are great. Hope you don't mind my reading and posting.
Adelita D Comment by Adelita D on August 16, 2010 at 12:48pm
Why is it that the Christian world can not fathom moral atheists? What is it that makes them feel they have the corner on the moral market? Have they actually read what the men in the OT Bible were like? I just don't get it. They say they are moral and the only ones who can be because God told them to be that way....yet they are also the ones who have trouble staying off the temptation bandwagon just like everyone else......
Xiuntao Kyomoira Comment by Xiuntao Kyomoira on August 16, 2010 at 12:36pm
My brother is studying to be a Christian pastor. I tried to tell him about my atheism in a hypothetical manner only to be met with the expected judgmentalness that made me take the red pill and wake up from the "God Matrix." He was shocked when I informed him that Bill Gates, Seth Macfarlane and Brad Pitt are ALL atheists. Yeah, atheists with morals, imagine that!!
Godless Granny Comment by Godless Granny on August 15, 2010 at 9:13pm
The majority of posts I read about former Christians turning atheist are mainly by young adults--either teens or twenty-somethings with occasional married people with young kids. However after a lifetime of fundamentalism, my husband and I left the church when we were in our fifties. We have been non-believers for about 10 years now. Instead of coming out of the closet to our parents, we had to come out of the closet to our grown children. All but one of the kids took it just fine. But our oldest son went to bible college and now works for a fanous Christian evangelist and he is giving us all kinds of hell about it. He called my husband I liars and is telling his kids that we are going to hell, etc. etc. He lives across the country from us and I doubt we will ever see much of him, much less the grandchildren. The last time we visited him all he talked about was the ministry he was involved in---nothing else. I understand why he's upset since we raised him as a Christian and then we left the church after he grew up. It's usually kids who are suppose to change their views not older folks like my husband and myself, but life is all about growing and learning and we just finally grew up and grew out of needing religion. Also my husband was a preacher's kid and although his parents are now dead, his siblings are harassing us trying to get us to come back into the Christian fold. While I am quite happy and content with my non-theist views now, our fundy relatives are truly making it a hell on earth for us.
Claudia M. Mazzucco Comment by Claudia M. Mazzucco on August 3, 2010 at 9:58am
Dear Members of Life after Christian Fundamentalism,

I am conducting a little survey on the following questions:

1. What authority did the church invoke to make you believe what is false?

2. Did the Church – any Christian denomination – teach you about its “infallibility” and that faith and morals are incompatible with reason?

3. Did they tell you what it means “to think with the Church”?
Chris Highland Comment by Chris Highland on August 1, 2010 at 3:07pm
Some may find my outline "Other Rivers: An Exit Strategy," included in the appendix of my book Life After Faith, helpful for encouraging folks to feel safe leaving their faith traditions (choosing another river) without entirely abandoning (radically inclusive) community--as rare as that is.
Adelita D Comment by Adelita D on July 15, 2010 at 7:49pm
I am not even sure where to start anymore. My DH and I finally kicked the habit 18 months ago when we took our family out of the church I was born and raised in and he had converted to from the Pentecostal faith....His childhood was better than mine, though there were always lots of questions. His parents have created their own houses of worship along the way and are still very very active. I know he couldn't tell them he doesn't believe anymore or they would be very saddened and upset. They know we don't go to church....but they were glad because our faith had been Mormon and we were all going to Hell. *sigh*

I was born and raised LDS/Mormon. My parents believed that children shouldn't speak their minds, needed to do what they were told, were owned by the parents, etc etc. The beatings were frequent and usually bloody. The violence in my home after age 8 would make most people cringe. I survived, mostly. When I graduated high school I moved out and only lasted 1 year in the church....but a few years later I was found and started going again, mostly due to feelings of guilt and fear. I know it was my mom constantly calling people to try and make sure I was going every Sunday. Even my father went inactive when I was 12, but I still had to go even if that meant being dragged to the car by my hair. My mom was seen as a saint and therefore telling anyone would be met with stares and a trip to the Bishop's office to repent for lying. So I learned to not trust or speak to adults. Of course the sexual assaults and abuse by a babysitter and as well as an Elder in the church were never ever discussed because we weren't allowed to talk about anything sexual, and if someone touched us it must have been 1. what we were wearing, 2. something we did, 3. we deserved it just like the beatings we got that I still have no idea why... (I even asked my mom a couple years ago if I was really that bad a kid and she said "You were the easiest one, you always did everything we asked and we never had issues with you"....WTF? So yeah, we no longer speak. I only have contact with one other sibling and that is fine with me. I miss my dad, but he has been dead for 16 years now. He at least believed science which helped me on this path to break free...

So here I am, feeling a bit guilty for being such a bitch to my mom and sister (who my DH reminds me are narcissistic, always right, and used me regularly) because it has been 8 months since I told them to kiss off....and I know I am the brunt of a lot of family BS now....which is really aggravating.

I am trying to help my children who have had the misfortune of growing up with a religion in our lives. I have never been pushy, never expected them to read or do anything in particular. They have done a lot of reading and looking around and basically agree that religious people are hypocritical most of the time (there are the rare nice ones) and I am trying to help them as well as myself. Most of all I am trying to heal. I still have nightmares, PTSD was diagnosed...I have insomnia sometimes. I have trouble caring about myself the way I care about my kids...I see them as amazing and myself as horrible and unworthy....I don't want my kids to have to go through what I did so we have chosen a different parenting method which seems to be the "wrong" way according to the Branch of the church we just left. I don't think spanking is necessary--ever! I think that kids need a choice in life--heck even Jesus said we had the choice to follow or not....yet church life means you follow or you go to hell...not much of a choice. I am glad I found this site. I read about Nate Phelps life and could relate to a lot of it. The fear, anger, hope of freedom. I just hope I can keep going...my biggest issue...ok one of my biggest issues is what happens now? What is life for and how do I help my kids and our family live it to the fullest. Thanks for listening/reading. I try not to be angry and vent, but sometimes ya just need to right?
joeyess Comment by joeyess on June 3, 2010 at 9:18pm
SeeingDuck, what do you mean, "not as polished"? That was great! Cat Stevens, CSNY, Beach Boys, Lovin' Spoonfuls all wrapped in a great little ditty. I loved it and could never do anything like that. See? That's the artist's perspective. We do our work, sculpt it, carve it, shape it, a twist here, a tweek there and viola'! we immediately think it's crap compared to someone else's work. I swear, if there weren't any critics, we'd invent some. Nice work, buddy, nice work.
SeekingDuck Comment by SeekingDuck on June 3, 2010 at 8:44pm
Oh hey, just saw joeyess's song, awesome. I guess I'll point to mine too :) Worth It. Not quite as polished as joeyess's, but a more personal perspective of what it felt like to grow up in that world... I wrote it after I told my parents I'm not a Christian and they cut off all contact with me. That's the love of Christ for you.
joeyess Comment by joeyess on May 20, 2010 at 12:17pm
Thank you, Fred. Follow me on Twitter and I'll do the same. I have a facebook page as well.

j.
 

Members (354)

Angie Jackson Nathan Phelps The Nerd Kitty Brad Feaker Leigh K Franklin Bacon Nate Jencarlene Etoile It's just Matt Ella E Fred Rock Fred Werther Фелч Гроган Ogden Lafaye HourglassStargazer hikinthru Nick wisp Aaron S. (USA) the thin edge of sanity Sabio Lantz katie Jason Spicer Jo Brother Richard Gin Sparrow Seth R. Chris Highland Kristi Leitholt
 
 
 

Support Nexus

Buy Amazon items here and help A|N:

Advertisements

Pre-order The New Sam Harris Book:

Helpful Items

Search Atheist Nexus:
Translate page:

Social Networking Links:

Latest Activity

I saw a video, or a blog post once that listed all the uncomfortable and illogical things that a person must do, according to Jesus' own words, in order to follow him. The list included hating your family, selling all your possessions, etc. I'm pret…
5 minutes ago
It's been almost a full day, and none of them have responded. I'm hoping that's the end of it, and they have bowed to my superior sophistry. ;-)
12 minutes ago
I sometimes wear the customary leather vest with the HOG Miami logo on the back but a closer look reveals the American Atheists and Freedom From Religion Foundation patches on the right rear side. My do-rag has a gold Atheist atom pin on the tail .…
12 minutes ago
Stephen Hawking: God Has No Role in Universe LONDON (Sept. 2) -- Entering the ongoing debate between faith and science, renowned British scientist Stephen Hawking claims that modern physics has now proved that God played no role in the creation of…
28 minutes ago
Gary F Soldow added 2 photos
36 minutes ago
"Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là." -Pierre-Simon Laplace
36 minutes ago
"Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là."
38 minutes ago
Newt Gingrich Teams With Anti-Gay Zealot Lou 'Uganda' Engle For U.S. Cyber-'Revival' We have entered the era of cyber-organizing by the religious right, and Newt Gingrich, futurist, is all over it. Frederick Clarkson / Talk To Action READ MORE http:…
44 minutes ago
Yes! Mississippi was the one next to Alabama that I couldn't think of. I knew I was missing another big, southern fundy state somewhere!
52 minutes ago
It's weird, but I never had the typical reaction to atheists when I was a believer. Oh sure, they were headed for hell, but I didn't presume to know or understand the reasons *why* they didn't believe. I didn't auto-dismiss them or hate their existe…
58 minutes ago
DeafAtheist added a discussion to the group Godless Gamers
Reading thru the Codex pages written by Altair that are found by Ezio in Assassin's Creed 2 it's quite obvious that Altair is an atheist based on his writings in Codex XX and Codex XXX Codex XX I long for the day when men turn away from invisible m…
1 hour ago
Thanks for the link. John Dominic Crossan said, "The problem [with the Testamonium Flavianum] is that Josephus' account is too good to be true, too confessional to be impartial, too Christian to be Jewish."
1 hour ago

© Copyright 2010   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved.   |   FAQ   |   Site Rules

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Sign in to chat!