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How do you describe your ADHD to other people?

Inspired by this picture.

I've often tried to describe what ADD feels like to my mother, but she never seems to get it even though we've read all the same books on ADD. I think she has trouble accepting how ADD makes me feel. I find it very difficult to finish important tasks when I'm so absorbed in something. I keep saying to myself, "Just five more minutes and then I'll stop... just one more link... just one more level..." ad infinitum.

She seems to think I want to be left alone, but that's not how I feel. As much as I've tried to explain this to her she just doesn't get it. If something does need to get done and I'm not paying attention to it, like house work I was supposed to do, I want her to come into my room and get me working on it, because most of the time that's the only way I get anything done. I really have to force myself off the computer most of the time. I feel like she doesn't understand.

Maybe when I finally have enough cash to move out it'll get easier. When I'm dog sitting I'm always very good about taking care of chores around the house because I know no one else will get to it if I don't and I want to do a good job, but when I'm at home my mom always does things for me. Today she filed a request for financial aid for me that I wasn't even aware I needed. She never talks to me about these things she just does them for me and I don't learn anything. :(

Tags: relating

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sean M Hebner on October 24, 2009 at 8:45pm

well....
I can say from experience that Living on your own ....it doesn't get eaiser...
then again I was in my 4th year at college and had a nervous break down....because of a girl ....

side note...Never do that.

My current Girlfriend...seems to understand a bit more than say, my dad...who really more pegs me as lazy. she's also studying to be a research psychologist. and i think she notices that some of my actions ...even the ones I don't catch till WAY after the fact are more a product of the lack of focus/hyperfocus that I undergo on a daily/minutely/nano-secondly basis.

My mom does the same thing with the FASFA and taxes and stuff....Just plain NOT on my radar, and shes got it done....

I wish it was easier to form organizational habits...

Permalink Reply by Stef on October 25, 2009 at 11:33am

WOW, that shirt is a perfect example of how to describe ADD for me.

I explain it to others like this: ADD feels like a packed stadium in my head that I can never leave. Or a radio slightly off channel that I can't turn off.

It may get better when you get out on your own or it may not, that all depends on the network you surround yourself with. My first husband was the worst thing that ever happened to my self esteem, I am still recovering 15 years later and we were only together 5 years. My partner now is the most understanding person I've ever met, he totally gets me. So I can't really say that it won't get better, cause I've had it both ways.

Good luck with your mom, keep being honest with her and letting her know how you feel, that's the only way you will feel good about it.

Permalink Reply by OutlawGirl on October 25, 2009 at 2:28pm

Unfortunately the only understading people I've met so far are on the internet. :(

Permalink Reply by Sean M Hebner on October 25, 2009 at 9:49pm

your at a university.....you'll find it somewhere... someone who gets you that is...

you may want to get to the tutoring center...and see if they have a list they are willing to give to you ...or try to start an ADD awareness group...OR....go to an anime club meeting....not only will you find ADD there...you'll find it in droves....generally cute anime chicks too....

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on November 1, 2009 at 12:16am

Sometimes, it feels like a cloud of butterflies flitting around my head, and when I try to catch one in particular with my butterfly net, it flies further out. Sometimes it feels like a roomful of AM radios, all turned to a different station. Sometimes it is the most beautiful sunset in the world ever, and the sun never sets, and it's so beautiful I can't tear my eyes away.

Are there any ADD support groups in your area? I've heard there are support groups for people who live with/are involved with/or have children with ADD/ADHD. Of course, there's nothing like that in my area, but I have read big lists of support groups in other places. Your mom might find it helpful to talk with her peers.

Permalink Reply by Wonderist on December 8, 2009 at 11:54am

That's pretty much my actual desktop.

Permalink Reply by Seth R. on December 8, 2009 at 9:51am

It's like Alzheimer's on caffeine.

Permalink Reply by Tedster on December 8, 2009 at 2:46pm

LOL

Permalink Reply by Edward Teach on December 8, 2009 at 10:44am

I want her to come into my room and get me working on it

I know what you mean. We do so much better with external structure.

I once had a desk job that I hated. I was the lowest producer in the office. Then, a hurricane came and destroyed everything. We set up in a warehouse with all of our desks in one room. You would think this might be distracting, but I had to work directly in front of a boss who hated me. I knew that I would get immediate consequences for fucking off... I got soooooo much work done that I was the top producer for that time period.

ADHD folks function really well in the military because they have so much structure and a narrow range of choices with immediate consequences if you fail to fall in line. I think that is one reason we get in to video games... immediate rewards and punishments and a very narrow range of choice options.

Permalink Reply by Sean M Hebner on December 9, 2009 at 9:26am

yeah...that sounds really good...my brother is in the airforce. and he seems to be doing really well....his wife is also kinda bossy....which I think also helps him... And His add is worse than mine.

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