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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on December 27, 2011 at 11:12am

"Question the mental abuse. Does your friend constantly put you down? Are you ridiculed? Think about your conversations with said friend. If you speak of things important to you, how do they view them? If anything you are passionate about seems insignificant to them, this is also a form of mental abuse. Friends should be supportive."

"Do they go out of their way to hurt you/make fun of you? How often do they do it, if they do? In abusive relationships, this tends to be an everyday sort of thing."

I just went through this and ended the friendship.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on October 9, 2012 at 11:42am

look for the signs

Question the mental abuse. Does your friend constantly put you down? Are you ridiculed? Think about your conversations with said friend. If you speak of things important to you, how do they view them? If anything you are passionate about seems insignificant to them, this is also a form of mental abuse. Friends should be supportive.
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Do they go out of their way to hurt you/make fun of you? How often do they do it, if they do? In abusive relationships, this tends to be an everyday sort of thing.

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on December 27, 2011 at 12:46pm

Ending friendships can be very hard.  That might be especially true for someone who is introverted.  Fewer friends and maybe closer?

I don't have many friends.  There was a one-sided friendship that I had a hard time getting out of last year.    Unfortunately, it was a coworker.  She was so passive-aggressive.  Not abusive directly, as on here, but continuously intrusive, stopping by my house unannounced and uninvited (30 minute drive from her house), unwanted gifts, invitations that I repeatedly said no to.  Initially, it started as a cordial friendship at work, then a holiday meal invitation (with opening prayer... ).  She contacted my aging, declining Dad in the midwest (googled to get his address) and told him how wonderful I am.  Meanwhile at work, there was more of the same.  I finally stopped all non-work contact, and just lived with the situation at work.  A few months later, in the summer, she stopped by my house with an expensive Xmas gift that she meant to give to me.  I thanked her but did not let her in.  I gave the gift to good will.  She gave up on me, but then started stalking other coworkers - they couldn't even escape to the restroom, she would folllow them in.  Finally, she went on disability for apparently mental issues.  This was not the kind of bullying where you insult and belittle people, but it was unwanted, repetitious intrusion and made me and others very uncomfortable.  I kept thinking she about Kathy Bates in Misery.  

Glad it ended.  Sometimes another coworker will mention her, that she contacted her on facebook.  I make a sign like warding off vampires with a cross, and say, be very very very very careful.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on December 27, 2011 at 3:03pm

I am like you. I also don't have many friends. Yes, fewer friends but closer. I am a loner.

That coworker sounds like she has mental issues. Sorry to hear you had to go through something like that. She was probably doing that to others as well I would assume.

Appreciate you sharing your story. I feel better than I'm not alone in ending a friendship.