Dealing with Cliques

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on January 9, 2013 at 4:57pm

A clique is a tight-knit group of people that often have very specific rules about how members should behave.

Maybe this is off-topic, but the second I read that, my VERY FIRST association was to Atheism-Plus ... which I should mention parenthetically that I have NO use for.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on January 9, 2013 at 5:08pm

Hah! I agree Loren.

It isn't just the workplace, it's also social groups and demographics that have cliques. Geeks/nerds have become cliquish in recent years. I've always found lesbians extremely cliquish.

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 5:19pm

I didn't know about that Prog Rock Girl.

I avoid cliques myself - that's why I am posting all this stuff. : )

Permalink Reply by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 5:18pm

Yes, I am trying to educate others on what the meaning of clique is and that it isn't a useful thing to belong to.

I avoid cliques.

Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on January 20, 2013 at 12:54pm

I see Atheism+ in an entirely different light, Loren, as a group trying to raise consciousness about gender oppression in atheism.

Every movement has leaders. An online movement is more likely to have leaders who interact with one another, online especially, than for example the Civil Rights movement. I don't think that makes the Atheism+ movement a clique. Of course the group shares specific rules about how members should behave. Would the Civil Rights movement have welcomed members who behaved overtly racist?

Our desire to eliminate sexism in atheist groups manifests caring, even though our common purpose isn't friendship. Just because the caring generalizes to all female victims of sexist behavior instead of paying attention only to individual victims, doesn't make it less caring.

Instead of caring for each other and creating lasting friendships, sometimes people involved in cliques seem to only care about themselves and the things they are interested in.

I haven't seem female Atheism+ leaders tease or bully others "for being different or for no apparent reason". Remember the distinction between behavior and person. Feminists are angry about sexist behavior, we focus on behavior and the attitudes that justify it, not on putting down men for being men. Behavior and attitudes can change. We seek such change, not degradation of men.

Cliques may target victims (who are not members of their clique) and tease and bully them for being different or sometimes for no apparent reason.

I suggest you reexamine your first association. Perhaps you feel targeted or rejected as an individual. I assure you that is not the intent in Atheism+. If you were exposed to an expression from a feminist that sounded that way, please put it in context. I'm sure some individual white people were the subject of personal attack by angry African-Americans during the Civil Rights struggle. Those outiler behaviors did not represent the intent of the Civil Rights movement or its leaders. Social movements include entire populations with diverse personalities. There will always be some expressions that are extreme from a few participants, at the extreme ends of the bell curve. Judge the entire movement in context. You are smart.