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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 848
Latest Activity: 12 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner 17 hours ago. 79 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Secular and Reclaimed Winter Holiday Songs

Started by Grinning Cat. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner 17 hours ago. 37 Replies

This is an appropriate day of the year for this subject...What are some of your favorite winter holiday songs?It would be especially good to share powerful new secular lyrics to tunes that have become associated with Christmas.…Continue

Tags: singing, lyrics, reclaimed, reclaiming, HumanLight

Aljam

Started by Randall Smith. Last reply by Joan Denoo yesterday. 3 Replies

I'm not a news hound by any stretch, but I do like to stay informed about what's going on in the world. (I despise "local" news with all the reports of murders, robberies, fires, etc.)The national "evening" news shows really irritate me. I hate…Continue

Seth Andrews - The Copycats: How Christianity Steals The Best Ideas

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller on Friday. 5 Replies

Many of us have observed or learned how christianity shamelessly borrows from other sources to bolster its position and show off its supposed wonderfulness.  Well, Seth Andrews of The Thinking Atheist podcast has compiled some of the more modern-day…Continue

Tags: steal, borrow, copycat, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Attacks in Canada Oct. 22nd/14

Started by Patricia. Last reply by The Flying Atheist on Thursday. 4 Replies

This was devastating for us........…Continue

Granddaughters

Started by Donald R Barbera. Last reply by Donald R Barbera Nov 15. 6 Replies

I've got three grandsons and I love them to death, but my youngest son and his wife had a baby girl in January and I haven't  right since. Granddaughter has me wrapped up like my grandsons never did. What is it about granddaughters? Her name is…Continue

Tags: grand-parent, girls, little, granddaughters

Comment Wall

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Comment by Steph S. on November 27, 2012 at 12:12am
Those are beautiful songs Tony and Joan.
And Melinda - you are a good mom with a wonderful family.
I enjoy your company - such a great place to be.
Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2012 at 11:13pm

Tony, what a wonderful tune to get caught in my head. Thanks. 

Melinda, you do all the right things to stay healthy and feel comfortable. I didn't mean to imply you are not. I'm rather enjoying the old lady I am becoming and even liking my anger as a good thing. There is a lot to be angry about. And, the really good news is there are some things I am doing, can do, will do but not right now. I love hibernating. I feel like an old bear mother, past her child rearing time and just lolling all about. My kids even poke their noses in every once in a while to see if I am OK and then they go about their business as need be. I've got these wonderful flabs that hang down between my elbow and shoulder and if they get any bigger, I shall be able to fly!

You are a great Mom, and you have wonderful kids. Great things to celebrate! And it seems your husband is a kind and gentle man ... what more can we desire?

I love this group so much and feel very comfortable with everyone. I come here to relax and enjoy and even to quiet down after a busy day of writing and doing whatever needs doing. How you find all these fun and funny cat photos is beyond me!. Please do keep sending them. I have grown accustomed to their frolics. 
Muppets "I've Grown Accustomed to Your Face" skit performed live at...

Comment by Tony Carroll on November 26, 2012 at 10:48pm

You know, sometimes you get a song stuck in your head. Been singing this one off and on all day, so I decided to share it. Don't know why it just popped into my head, but it did.

'The Hills Are Alive' from The Sound of Music. Hope you guys enjoy.

http://youtu.be/p_-lKpxLK3g

Comment by Steph S. on November 26, 2012 at 10:03pm
Ian I also come here first thing in the morning. It's such a wonderful group with such nice people!
Comment by Lillie on November 26, 2012 at 9:52pm

Why do cats love a box?

Comment by Ian Mason on November 26, 2012 at 9:37pm

Feel for you, Melinda. I've been a "troubled soul" all my life, diagnoses: always with "atypical" in front (depression, OCD, ADD, ADHD). Then my daughter was diagnosed with anorexia.What a nightmare! It hurts so much more when it's your young ones.

Fortunately she made an almost full recovery.

About 18 years ago I took someones advice about how to deal with a crisis and started taking regular exercise and haven't looked back. It sooths the mind and keeps some sort of limit on the waist - although that has expanded since I stopped smoking. I may have to (gasp) EAT LESS! Almost unthinkable :(.

Anyway, all the best to you all. Love being here. This is my first stop when I turn on my laptop in the morning.

Comment by Steph S. on November 26, 2012 at 8:05pm

I love that Grinning CAt - I am like singing that song.

Thanks for sharing what's going on with you Melinda. I'm good at listening - you can talk to me anytime. : ) 

I love all the pictures posted here! Thanks Melinda, Ian, Grinning Cat, and anyone else I might have missed.

It's always a joy coming here to be with you all.

Comment by Grinning Cat on November 26, 2012 at 7:06pm

Thanks for all the pictures, wise words, and sharing about what's going on with your lives!

A "mew"sical note:

She's a grand old cat
She's a high-flying cat
And long may her proud tail wave
It's the emblem of
The cat we love
So handsome and clever and brave
Oh, the black and white
It's a horrible sight
If you happen to be a rat
May old acquaintance ne'er be forgot
Keep your eye on the grand old cat.


(Tune: "You're a Grand Old Flag"
 Words: sent in to the Department of Folk Song
 of A Prairie Home Companion)

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2012 at 5:18pm

Thanks Spud!  I'm sorry you have depression too.  I take meds for anxiety and I don't really FEEL depressed.  I just think I am depressed a little also.  I guess I gained weight after my looks 'went' and don't really care (I'm not super-heavy, but more than I've ever weighed.)  I do care for health-reasons though!  This sounds, I can't think of the word, but I got to be young and pretty and thin, and now that I'm just a 'pleasant-looking', middle-aged, overweight woman, it's like I just don't care because I'm fine with that.  I hope that doesn't sound horrible to anyone.  See Joan? I'm talking! ;)  No, I truly appreciate your offer to talk and your insight.  I do have lots of people that I do have frank and good conversations with.  I really don't feel bad about myself or anything.  I just need to talk myself into taking better care of my health exercise-wise.  When I was young I was very athletic.  I hate getting all sweaty and then having to cool-down before I shower, etc.  I know, I'm a big baby!!!!  Just saying that makes me ashamed! lol. I know what makes me anxious and depressed, and that's worrying about my kids.  I've told people on here a LOT, lol, that my son has type 1 diabetes (an auto-immune disorder, nothing like type 2), and my daughter has anxiety, ocd, depression~ same as I do (and my grandfather had, and sister, and her daughter...)  I just can't be happy when she is so unhappy right now, and my son is fine, I will just ALWAYS worry about that every minute of every day for the rest of my life.  WOW! I should have started a therapy thread!  Thanks for listening friends!

Ian, Cool pictures! 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2012 at 3:05pm

It was 33 years ago I completed my formal training and modern research builds on the theories of those "ancient" ones. I learned that feelings of being unable to control outcomes or predict outcomes leads to anxiety and depression. The term most often used with this mix of anxiety and depression is "Learned Helplessness".

Just about very organism with a brain can learn helplessness as demonstrated by research on prisoners of war, battered women and children, dogs, rats, pigeons, pike (the fish), octopus, and many other creatures. Anxiety and depression come with having a brain. 

Treatments of anxiety and depression include medication, exercise, Rational Emotive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy.

These last two involve a mixture of cognitive and behavioral therapies. For example, each one of us has a private conversation going on in our heads that only you hear and no one else can.

The conversation may include such "I am not good enough," "I can't do ...," "I don't belong," "am not worthy of being loved," "I'm not smart enough," "My life has no meaning or purpose."

These, of course, are not the only private internal conversations that create anxiety and depression, but they are the most common and the ones I heard most often during my 20+ years in practice.  


So, may I be so bold as to suggest listening for your quiet, personal talk and see if you can discover something that makes you anxious or depressed. Get some exercise and focus on positive self-talk. Do things you like to do with people you enjoy and make you feel good about yourself. None of the fake talk or friends, but honest and reassuring talk and friends. 

Let me know if you try these skills and if they help. I learn by listening to others, so go for it if you want to. 

 

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