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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
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Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

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Discussion Forum

Optical Illusions

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Idaho Spud 14 hours ago. 59 Replies

This one seems a bit creepy, like the middle one shouldn't be able to change rotation like that. from Cheezburger.comContinue

Forest Fire

Started by Patricia. Last reply by Patricia Jul 21. 14 Replies

Continue

change.org

Started by Patricia. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Jul 16. 6 Replies

There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be…Continue

Saving Number 90 - From Seth Andrews (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Jul 1. 9 Replies

Seth says himself that the following is a departure from the usual fare his YouTube channel features.  Personally, I think it's a positive and constructive move, because it demonstrates that no, we are NOT just about atheism.  We're also very much…Continue

Tags: abuse, animal, puppy mills, Henry, The Thinking Atheist

Human Rights for Atheists, Agnostics and Secularists

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Jun 27. 11 Replies

I just ran onto this YouTube video, promoting a change.org petition aimed at amending the United Nations charter supporting the abolition of all anti-blasphemy laws. The petition referenced by the video is…Continue

Tags: petition, anti-blasphemy laws, UN, United Nations

Comment Wall

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Comment by Patricia on May 5, 2014 at 1:49am

Thanks Plinius.

Felaine, I had to invite boyfriends to meet the parents as I wasn't allowed out if I didn't.

I had very few friends because making friends was always very difficult.....I just didn't fit anywhere & was never comfortable in any situation. Took years to realize I was mostly a loner.

Kids seldom wanted to come to ''my house'' anyway, & I think it was my miserable outlook as well as being such an oddball moron girl. Everyone else was the mainstream.....protestant, catholic, united...whatever.

Amazing how much we change when we get away from things. I had terrific inlaws who showed me a different world. 

Comment by sk8eycat on May 5, 2014 at 1:37am

Patricia, sometimes I could weep for you, and for others in here who had crappy childhoods.  Mine wasn't perfect, but both my parents encouraged me to ask questions and explore whatever interested me...even my semi-fundie mother.  Things didn't go bad till my early teens when Dad dove into a bottle of gin, and stayed there till after I "ran away to join the circus (ice show)."

I never, EVER invited a boyfriend into the house; I always waited for them on the front porch or on the corner, because I was ashamed of the old man passed out on the sofa.  But that's all; I was never told that I was worthless or going to some imaginary place of torment.

Dad sobered up (after an ugly family intervention that I'm glad I missed), I came home, and went to work for him for 7 years till he fell off the wagon, and I went back with Holiday till I had an appendicitis attack and surgery and was off the ice for 3 months.

I was extremely fortunate that the attack happened while we were playing Los Angeles, and I was living at home at the time.  I was also glad that I was still out of the show a few weeks later when we would have been in Memphis...that was the week MLK was murdered....

I went back to a different unit that summer, hated it, sprained my ankle while we were still in rehearsal, and got sent home.  All my luggage got sent to SFO.

I decided that at 28, living out of  suitcase wasn't the adventure it was when I was 18, and went back to bookkeeping and escrow work.  I still actually enjoy reconciling bank statements and doing manual ledger-keeping.  Making the books balance is sort like getting an ephemeral pat on the back.

Comment by Plinius on May 5, 2014 at 1:28am

Glad it's over, Patricia, and you did it so very well! Congrats!  I'm now also able to keep my balance when I meet the last remnants of my family, but they never make me feel good. Perhaps I should clear them out too.

Comment by Patricia on May 5, 2014 at 12:56am

Thanks Felaine. I know I cannot deal with toxic relationships, so will keep my distance.

I had hoped my daughter would wake up & smell the coffee since she had no religion in her life until she met her husband & he got her into it, but unfortunately, she never questions anything.....ever! Of course I've always been the bad guy, but at least they know they have to keep the religion to themselves if they expect me to stay civil.

As for ''mother'', I don't recall her ever questioning anything either & I always got told to stop asking so many......which drove me to reading almost anything I could get my hot mitts on. That was maybe a good thing in the long run.

One thing I noticed this weekend, I had no crippling guilts over anything I did, or didn't, do.

Comment by sk8eycat on May 5, 2014 at 12:27am

Patricia. I'm so glad the Wicked Weekend is finally over!  You did everything right, and maybe, Just maybe, gave both your daughter and the maternal unit a few things to think about.

As for "forgiving & forgetting," that's bullshit, unless you're referring to cheating at cards, or accidentally tripping somebody...minor stuff.  There a a few individuals on this planet who have hurt me much less than your so-called family has hurt you, and I still will not see them or talk to them, because I know that they are more concerned with themselves than they are with the rest of the world, and I'm in no shape to give them a chance to hurt me again.  And I know they will; they can't help it, and they wonder why they have no friends anymore.

YOU have friends, and a husband who loves you, and will back you up no matter what, and you know what that means?

YOU ARE A WINNER!

Comment by booklover on May 4, 2014 at 5:54pm
I think you handled the visit wonderfully Patricia! You should be commended! I'm happy for you that it's over and done with!
Beautiful flower picture Ian! It makes me happy to look at it!
COSMOS tonight!
Comment by Patricia on May 4, 2014 at 4:44pm

Thank you, & I feel I kept my blood pressure in check too.

Forgiving & forgetting is not in my vocabulary when it comes to something deliberately, & unnecessarily done. I'll stay civil & get along, but it will never be a buddy-buddy relationship, & if anything more is expected, then that's tough. I've gone as far as I intend to go. Acceptable or not, I don't care.  

Comment by k.h. ky on May 4, 2014 at 4:31pm
Patricia, you did good. I'm not big on forgiveness either but sometimes we gotta tolerate. You tolerated with style.
Comment by Joan Denoo on May 4, 2014 at 3:08pm

Ian a lovely photo of meadow flowers. Oh! to create such a scene! 

Comment by Patricia on May 4, 2014 at 3:07pm

Ok Ian, I ''dislike'' you, so when can we expect you for dinner?

 

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