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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 833
Latest Activity: 55 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Forest Fire

Started by Patricia. Last reply by Patricia Jul 21. 14 Replies

Continue

change.org

Started by Patricia. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Jul 16. 6 Replies

There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be…Continue

Optical Illusions

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Idaho Spud Jul 3. 58 Replies

This one seems a bit creepy, like the middle one shouldn't be able to change rotation like that. from Cheezburger.comContinue

Saving Number 90 - From Seth Andrews (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Jul 1. 9 Replies

Seth says himself that the following is a departure from the usual fare his YouTube channel features.  Personally, I think it's a positive and constructive move, because it demonstrates that no, we are NOT just about atheism.  We're also very much…Continue

Tags: abuse, animal, puppy mills, Henry, The Thinking Atheist

Human Rights for Atheists, Agnostics and Secularists

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Jun 27. 11 Replies

I just ran onto this YouTube video, promoting a change.org petition aimed at amending the United Nations charter supporting the abolition of all anti-blasphemy laws. The petition referenced by the video is…Continue

Tags: petition, anti-blasphemy laws, UN, United Nations

Comment Wall

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Comment by booklover on January 19, 2013 at 7:43pm
Thank you my Dear Friend Joan, and love the bedtime story cat my Wonderful Friend Steph!!!
Comment by Steph S. on January 19, 2013 at 4:50pm

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 19, 2013 at 1:54pm

Melinda, your story is most compelling, full of the human frailties that bring so much misery into the world. Your Mom clearly broke the "bitch" cycle and she has strength of character to create herself in her own image; she sounds like a woman with great heart, generosity and compassion that children so badly need. 

Perhaps your mother was attracted to the "playboy" aspect of your father even as she has sense enough to be able to see reality and make whatever adjustments she needed. A truly noble character. She offers you a good example for the troubled times we approach in this day. Be realistic, recognize others' flaws and develop resilience. 

Of course you had "panic attacks!" That is a perfectly normal coping strategy, especially for young children. Some people are never able to learn how to manage such experiences throughout a lifetime. With solid reasoning, loving yourself, and perhaps help from a therapist, and certainly with a loving husband, such attacks can be managed. What we learn as children to get through the stressers are often dysfunctional in adults. 

Growing up is a process of learning to overcome dysfunctional coping strategies and learning how to respect yourself and your story. As you learn these, you share your life with a loving partner and children, thus breaking old patterns. 

Please give your mother and husband a hug from me and tell them how much I appreciate their being in your life. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 19, 2013 at 1:38pm

Comment by Ian Mason on January 19, 2013 at 10:57am

Some very heartwarming accounts of brave lives lived in defiance of adversity. They give others hope and encouragement. Thank you so much.

Comment by Steph S. on January 19, 2013 at 10:44am

Love the Ikea cat and Tiger photo booklover.

Thanks for sharing your family stories with us.

I enjoy reading about your daily lives here.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Comment by booklover on January 19, 2013 at 9:20am

Comment by booklover on January 19, 2013 at 8:26am

Joan, you are right!  My Mom has even said that even though she and my father truly loved each other, she knew in her heart he would always be a 'playboy' and not someone who would be able to handle responsibility.  She wanted to get the hell away from her Mother.  She loved my Grandpa, but he would just stay quiet to keep the peace with my grandmother.  That makes me mad about him.  My grandmother was not an alcoholic or anything, just a bad mother and truly a bitch! She physically took care of her children, but mentally was horrible to them.

I think that my getting married so young was also because I wanted the security of having a husband.  My Mom was single again at the time, and  I was sharing a room with my sister.  I didn't have any real plan for after high school.  I went to community college and worked part-time, both off and on because of anxiety and panic-attacks (and we didn't know what they were at the time, I just thought I was crazy in a way my friends weren't), and I clung to my boyfriend, now my husband.  I'm lucky I chose a stable man who turned out to be a really good husband and father, but we had to grow-up together along the way. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 19, 2013 at 1:55am

Grinning Cat, this is a wonderful resource. I can't imagine I have never seen or heard of it before. Thank you so much. The language is strong, it does not mince words, and it is a powerful message. Thanks.
"A thriving church community can be an amazing thing. But it is the people who make that happen, not any imaginary being."

The bible is repulsive

Comment by Grinning Cat on January 19, 2013 at 12:50am

Future wrote, a page or two ago:

In my vision of a perfect world, all churches would be shuttered not because they had no choice, but because their members started thinking critically and left.

In line with Joan Denoo's comment, we can hope they'll become secular fellowships that do things to improve the world, as the author of Why Won't God Heal Amputees would like to see:

What About Churches
[...]
A thriving church community can be an amazing thing. But it is the people who make that happen, not any imaginary being. Once the imaginary being is gone, churches continue to exist as communities of people who enjoy each others' company, who help one another in times of need, and who focus on goodness and good deeds for the benefit of society as a whole. What's not to like about that? By removing the imaginary being, church attendance may actually go up, because a strong church has a lot to offer.

 

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