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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 852
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 21. 81 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Dominique Lutz Apr 16. 6 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

The FLDS Cult Is Unraveling

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Idaho Spud Mar 29. 3 Replies

The FLDS Cult Is Unraveling"the internet is a lifeline for people trapped in the most restrictive and stifling forms of…Continue

Tags: Warren Jeff, internet, FLDS

Ode to Yahweh (Non Stamp Collector & 43alley)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 24. 1 Reply

Ages ago (five or six years, I guess it is) when I first started recognizing my own atheism, one of the first atheist YouTubers I ran onto was Non Stamp Collector.  His handiwork wasn't up to Disney's standards, nor even Hanna-Barbera, but his wit…Continue

Tags: Yahweh, YouTube, 43alley, Non Stamp Collector

Oregon Field Guide - Lamprey Decline

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Mar 15. 3 Replies

Oregon Field Guide - Lamprey Decline"Populations of Eel-like lamprey have suddenly plummeted since the year 2000 in the Columbia Basin, surprising…Continue

Richard Dawkins, Growing Up in the Universe

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 14. 2 Replies

Here is an oldie, the young Richard Dawkins teaching kids about the universe. I especially like the one demonstrating how the eye evolved. This should answer those who believe it was impossible to evolve an eye. Continue

Tags: universe, teaching, Dawkins, Richard

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 1:31pm

Mindy, "He also texts her to remind her to study and do her homework! If I did that she'd have a fit! :)"

I know what you mean. The know-it-all age is a tyrant that keeps cropping up with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I  got it recently from one of the youngest of our generations, and thought, "Oh here it comes again." Well, leave them to their devices and it doesn't take long before they run, not walk, back to get some information to get them out of some problem they create for themselves. Not an "I told you so" person, I think, "I told you so!"

Well, it happens so often, I guess it is normal. Realize normal does not mean healthy or functional, it means it happens a lot. We all just hope they don't do any permanent damage to themselves, others, or the next generation.  

Glad to learn she is getting help with math and who know, she may grow to love it. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 1:24pm

Ruth, thank you so much for the information on Vitamin D. I do take a daily 1,000 IU and will include the dosage question with my cancer dietitian today. 

I recognize a lot of skepticism exists about scientific research, even as skeptics exist about whole and natural remedies and foods. Somewhere in there is true information. Sorting it all out presents a challenge. If there are research reports, based on double-blind studies by people who don't have an investment in the outcome, it is relatively easy to find truth in the fog. 

Monsanto is not a researcher worthy of reading, nor are the tobacco companies, or the pharmaceutical or the energy industry. I like to know where the conflicts exist and then go on the hunt. 

Thanks for the heads up. 

Cancer patients with high vitamin D levels live longer

"The patients were allocated to four groups, based on their vitamin D levels, ranging from high, medium-high, medium-low and low. When the researchers compared them, they found that the risk of dying from cancer was the highest for patients in the low-level group."

I'm upping my dosage unless given evidence that I should not. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 12:56pm

Part 2 
The problem with religion, it sends unhealthy life skills messages. You know the drill, "yield, submit, obey, seek out authority figures, there is one and only one way to think and be, live a role defined by gender, think in patriarchal terms of a hierarchy "god, man-male, female, children, and all creation is created for man to dominate. These massages are about as dysfunctional as I can even imagine. If you want to be healthy, refuse to listen to this nonsense. They are rubbish.

If you want to flourish, easy:
1. Recognize that you, an individual, exist through natural processes and you thrive best when you understand that. 
2. Know that you have work that must be done to sustain yourself. Even a robin has to get up in the morning and go looking for worms and has to supply worms to her babies. You are no different, you are responsible for you and you are part of the Net Of Life. 
3. Understand you are a social being; we need each other and flourish most beautifully when we have the support of our family and community. 
4. Count on your brain/mind to be your guide for moral and ethical development as well as learning the skills necessary to thrive in your environment. You do not have a guru who will rescue you or a prince charming coming over the hill, or a savior who will protect you or answer your prayers, or a boss who is healthy. In order to be healthy, you have to think for yourself, consult others who have your interests at heart, compare and contrast different options and make decisions about how to solve your particular problem. 
5. With a combination of thinking and acting you can create your own power, find your way through life and thrive. By combining awareness and respect for yourself, in a community with others, "I" becomes "we", and power multiplies. In fact, it multiplies exponentially. 

So, dear sweet heart, know the facts, know you live in an unusually healthy and functional family, challenge your boss with what is real, tell him how you feel when he speaks so disrespectfully to you, and tell him he needs to grow up. He is a man who has not developed beyond childish thinking. Organize your co-workers to confront him. Not only will you flourish, your co-workers will, and if the foolish man has any sense, he will know you tell the truth. He would benefit greatly by Landmark training. It is not magic or a cult. It is a place to learn life skills. That is all it is, all it ever was, and all it will ever be.

I love you dearly. Know you have a "Cloud of Witnesses" standing with you as you take on life's challenges.

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 12:55pm

My granddaughter faces a difficult choice for her, a dysfunctional boss, unhealthy work environment and some who would stop her from developing her own power. Her mother and father, and family members all stand with her in support of her flourishing and  of the decisions she makes and I sent her this little message:


Now, as to "fierce", by some processes of nature, we are born, live and die. There are several ways to manage that life.
1. Seek out authority figures and follow them, including gurus. 
2. Seek out information from many sources, think about which have the highest probability of success in developing a functional life style. 
3. Pay attention to one's body and listen for messages, take action to bring about positive change. 
4. Use drugs, legal or illegal, to ease pain. 
5. Turn to religion to ease pain. 
6. Develop life skills and use them as tools. 
7. Attend and follow Landmark skills building classes. They are simply tools for living and flourishing. 
8. Whine. Beg. Plead. Give in. 

9. 

10. 

So, we observe there are many ways, healthy and unhealthy, to try to be successful and to ease the pain of living. 
Some work against health, some promote flourishing. 


Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on May 30, 2013 at 11:47am

Joan, I woke up this morning from a dream about the benefits of vitamin D. Then I realized I'd never discussed it with you. I take 5,000 IU of vitamin D daily as a preventive, but it's also helpful for cancer recovery. I first learned about it from a physician friend who sent me a link to a professional symposium talk by Cedric F. Garland. Our cells are normally connected by tight junctions, through which cytoplasm actually flows from one cell to the next. Low vitamin D reduces the number of tight junctions, and when they're cut off every cell begins to function as a competitive individual instead of a good citizen. If a pro-growth mutation happens the isolated cell gets out of control. High dose vitamin D restores the number of tight junctions, so even mutated cells can calm down and begin to act like good citizens again. Here's the hype version.

Thanks for the info about Gene Roddenberry, sk8eycat. Now I admire him even more.

Cute cats, Steph.

Comment by Steph S. on May 30, 2013 at 9:40am

Joan I am glad that you are doing well and staying strong.

Ruth I love those Star Trek cats.

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 2:32am

Mindy, that is very special photo of you and your daughter! A great family. 

I haven't written you yet about how much I like your plan for the tutor to get through math. Thank should clear up a lot of things for her. Lots of good luck. 

Comment by sk8eycat on May 30, 2013 at 2:08am

Steph, I sent that Spock photo and quote to a friend who got to know Gene Roddenberry quite well, and this is her reply (LOL):

**********

This is why Gene Roddenberry was considered a "loose cannon" by NBC and Desilu, later by Paramount! He kept putting these comments into his scripts in hopes that some of them would get by the censors (oh, pardon me: Quality Control). -- Bjo
***********
My reply to Bjo, was:
I thought the NBC censors' dept. was called Broadcast Standards.  aka B.S.
*****************
I did tell you that I knew the guy who played "Ensign Hadley" (and the White Rabbit in "Shore Leave," and a lot of other extra roles in TOS) when I was in Holiday, didn't I?
 
He's on the far left in this HOI photo:
 
 

 
Comment by Joan Denoo on May 30, 2013 at 1:19am

My wonderful surgical and chemical oncologests looked me over today and I described the different feeling I have, not to complain, but to describe. One option is to change the chem formula and I said only if it doesn't reduce the probability of getting all the cancer cells. 
Had another dose of chemo today and feel good. Have some new strategies for handling the leaking problems. Laura and Laurie joined me for the procedure. Very nice company. 

Have an appointment tomorrow with the dietitian to work on problems. Did I tell you, fresh garlic eased my stomach cramping.  It turns out my harsh back pains were caused by the chemo to supplement my bone marrow. Knowing those pains caused by strengthening bone marrow, I can tolerate it. Here is where deep meditations and breathing come in handy. I surely don't want any more Rx's than I have to take. That pain will be kind of like having pains to have a baby, it is forgotten soon after birth, and/or healing of my immune system. 

I'm pooped, enjoyed reading your comments on a wide variety of topics. See you tomorrow. 

Comment by sk8eycat on May 29, 2013 at 10:57am

Joan, forgive me, but your "Loess on the Palouse" made me think of this (by Stewart Moskowitz)

I have a print of this somewhere...

 

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